Dialogue and Thoughts

What About Action Stories?

This, of course, refers to the use of speech and thought in a fight scene.

…wow, what a great first sentence.

Okay. Now…speech and thought. These can really help increase a fight scene's velocity.

This is useful for throwing in minor attacks that have no true effect on the scene (the 'egg' fight).

Many writers have their characters talk to each other during a battle. While it can be used colloquially, it is often used as a cry of pain.

"Erg!" or "Yai!" or "Argh!" or "Ah!" or "Sh_t!"

Whatever works.

 

Dialogue is effectively used as a means of intimidation during a battle. Having characters stare one another down and taunt their opponent really gives great elements. Especially if it is a rivalry battle, where the reader most likely has a favorite, dialogue can be crucial.

"I guess it's come to this," said (good guy), staring at (bad guy) with utter contempt.

"You're a fool to oppose me," (bad guy) sneered. His blade drew small circles in the air. "You'll die just like (character important to good guy). My, my, wasn't she fun? Writhing in my world of torment like a rat being crushed."

"Bastard!" (good guy) screamed, drawing his weapons and dashing at (her) murderer with fury burning in his heart.

This could be placed during or before a battle.

 

If the character development has been decent, then this just might piss off the reader who is rooting for (good guy)—make him really mad at (bad guy) for even mentioning his all-important previous victim. This opens a window for the tear of emotion that can come from a climactic battle—what I like to call the 'Blood Rush Theory'. But that is for a different chapter.

Thought, however, can be quite different.

Most uses of thought during battle are succinct. Little flashes of thought before an attack or a move is made by a character. This can be very effective.

So they stood, staring each other down. (Name's) eyes never blinked once.

It's going to be quick—

 

His enemy lashed out with an assault that came on like lightning.

Unbelievable, he's too fast— (Name) thought, barely able to avoid the lethal blow of his axe.

A nice way to use thought, if it can be implemented later in the story, is for a cryptic flashback.

Before he could decide which way to move, the blade cut through the side of his stomach in a flash of pain and disbelief.

No, no, this is just like before!

 

His thought can go directly into a flashback or can be used later in the story for a flashback. Most uses of thought are brief and cryptic like that. Lengthy parts of thought can be used, but you have to be careful.

My destination reached in such a short time—it seems so inconceivable. And yet, here I am, (name) before me with my blood on his blade. And still, I'm weakening, his sword saps my strength even when it does not touch my flesh. I was supposed to win this, to come out on top, but he has yet to sustain any injury. My blade is as dry as my throat.

That would actually be okay, I think. Too much longer, though, and you risk breaking the reader's concentration on the battle. No reader likes going back to check up on what conspired before the little thought or dialogue spiel.

 

 

 


 

Wow I copied it all from here. I'm sorreh. I just don't have an idea.

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
ddeokbxkkii
#1
These few chapters really helped a lot! I think I'm going to keep coming back to this tutorial whenever I'm stuck! :P Thank you so much!
okinawa
#2
Chapter 1: this is what i needed! i'm trying to work on an action fic but i've never write story in that genre which makes it harder for me. Thanks for making a tutorial/workshop like this ^^
ddeokbxkkii
#3
Chapter 1: Oh I'm stalking this! I'm currently planning a action fic too! Actually the outline, character info everything is more or less out. But I'm going to read this and take some advice. :) Even with just the planning, I actually had a lot of fun with it. Maybe it's because I'm finally really putting this idea of mine down. Because mine is more of a secret agent/double identity kind of thing, I researched more on the system than the weapons.. maybe I'm doing it wrong. I'm still at my planning stage so I'm going to see how this workshop can help me! ^^
Kay_tea114
#4
Oh hi.

Thanks for mentioning my workshop? I'm happy that you found inspiration in my workshop to start your own. Good luck!