Kyuhyun – Kyuhyun
HanMin – Sungmin
AngelLeader – Leeteuk
TheAppa – Kangin
SmokingDancer – Eunhyuk
VisualSiwon – Siwon
TheHOTHeeHee – Heechul
CookieMuncher – Yesung
Hankyung – Hankyung
Donghae – Donghae
TheAmazingRapper – Shindong
Wookie – Ryeowook

THEY WILL CHANGE! A LOT!

Kyuhyun: Huh, Hell has very good wi-fi! I’m impressed.

AngelLeader: What is Wookie doing in Hell? And more importantly! WHAT am I doing in Hell??!!

Donghae: In Norse Mythology that would be Hel. Or Helheim.

TheAmazingRapper: Donghae, that is not helpful.

Donghae: But it is true! I swear on my trip to Japan!

SmokingDancer: Mm… Japan…

Hankyung: You can’t swear on something like a “trip”. It’s not ing possible! And I do not approve!

Kyuhyun: Gee, what’s gotten on your balls?

Hankyung: What kind of ing question is that?!

TheAmazingRapper: Don’t you mean “nerves”?

Hankyung: NO!

Wookie: Why are you mad?

Hankyung: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU-

Kyuhyun: Ha, you mentioned the location in your outrage. Classic.

SmokingDancer: Sounds like you’ve been here lots of times then, Kyu.

Kyu: Yes. What the hell?

Hankyung: THINK!? I AM IN ING HELL!

Lucifer: I’ve heard there’s a song of me. Is that true?

Taemin: “Her whisper is the Lucifer~!”

Lucifer: Eh….? What are you saying boy?! Are you offending me?!

Donghae: Maybe it’s defending the Debil…

Debil: No, it is not.

TheHOTHeeHee: Don’t you mean “offending”?

*ignores*

TheHOTHeeHee: EVEN IN HELL!? YOU can’t IGNORE ME here! This IS my HOME!

GD: Ah~ So this is Hell? Where I rule supreme I presume?

Debil: I AM THE ONE!

Boy: WHY NOT ME?!

Debil: Because you are a disgrace and an abomination in the eyes of man and God alike!

Yunho’sRacistSunflower: We’ve heard that! Get on with it!

Debil: Oh, I am sorry. Wait… NO-

TheHOTHeeHee: ANYWAY! Why are the names changing even in Hell??? Isn’t this supposed to stop once you’re dead or something…?

Donghae: What are you talking about, bro?

Bro: THIS! I MEAN THIS!

SmokingDancer: What? I don’t get it, dude…

Dude: WHY- Oh goddammit…

Debil: BLASPHEMY!

CookieMuncher: You have that, man?

Man: STOP THIS ATROCITY!

Dude: I AGREE!

SmokingDancer: With what? I don’t quite follow…old chap

OldChap: OH COME ON!

OriginalChap: I AM THE ORIGINAL!

Wookie: That is given away by your name… old sport.

OldSport: Why so British?!

Kyu: Exactly! You’re Korean, speak American! It’s the only language I understand, in America

OldChap: Oh, God! Not this again!

GD: I am listening! Speak thy prayer!

Man: NOT IN MY HOUSE!

Kyu: Dude, this is not a house. This is like a garden, with some fiery stuff in it. A lot nicer than I expected.

Dude: Thank you.

OldChap: O.M.G! The Devil said THNAK YOU!

TheDevil: I DID NOT! Oh, my name is back. And my spelling is a lot better than that! I went to Harvard for ’s sake!

GD: Now that is something I can believe in.

Donghae: Why Harvard, all mighty one?

Wookie: Donghae? Are you a physician?

Donghae: Not that I know of… But then again, I don’t know the meaning of that word. Meaning I could very well be this thing you speak of, without knowing what it is you are speaking of……………………. Why?

Wookie: Could you make that clearer? I didn’t quite understand you.

Donghae: This thing of which you speak that you mean that I am not familiar with its meaning of this things that would be if it was not could and not so if I did not understand which I do not. But if I could, that would not be a thing to consider, since I do not. Is that clear enough for you?

Hankyung: What the ?

Wookie: Perfectly clear! Thank you.

Donghae: Not problem, dude

Dude: OH NO! NOW WE ARE TWO!

TheAlmightyOne: No, just you small child.

OldChap: THAT IS- NO! This is Heechul! HEECHUL I TELL YOU!

TheAlmightyOne: Don’t yell at me. It’s…rude

 Kyu: Who knew manners would be so important in Hell?

TheAlmightyOne: You should have. You have been here before. Haven’t you…Mr?

Mr: Yes. I have. … Dammit

TheAlmightyOne: You are damned. This is your eternal damnation. OR maybe my own

Mr: Personally, I don’t find this Hell quite so horrible as living with those boys.

Boys: HEY!

Mr: Hm. Maybe we should stop this before everything goes to Hell…?

TheAlmightyOne: You keeping forgetting where you are.

GD: This is very interesting furniture. Where did you buy it?

TheAlmightyOne: DO NOT TOUCH MY CHAIR! It was a gift! From God… My father.

Luke: I know the feeling.

Donghae: LUKE! My brother! I-

Thor: MY BROTHER!

TheAlmightyOne: What are you doing here? You aren’t even a part of this religion! Go away.

Thor: BROTHER~ *cries selflessly*

Boy: Don’t cry, brother

Brother: I shan’t. Thank you, small child.

SmallChild: Actually, I am 180 cm. That is not considered small.

Brother: Compared to me, it is.

TheAlmightyOne: You are a Norse God! And not part of my religion! So get out! OUT OF MY HOUSE!

GD: IT’S A GARDEN!

TheAlmightyOne: No it isn’t!

GD: YES IT IS! AND IT IS MINE! MY PRECIOUS!

Donghae: AH! Are you back to quoting Lord of the Rings? Awesome! YOU SHALL NOT-

Gandalf: None shall quote my quote!

Donghae: Oh, gee. Sorry, man.

Man: That is all right. Just don’t do it again. It will upset me, Bilbo

Bilbo: I see. Wait, I thought my name was Donghae? But I see now that apparently it’s not. And I shall accept my new name with grace and dignity.

SmokingDancer: What the hell did Hell do with you?

Bilbo: I don’t know what you’re talking about, oh dance studio man.

OhDanceStudioMan: COME ON! That is not even a real name!!

OldChap: I don’t like this anymore…

TheAlmightyOne: The Lord of the Rings is not of my religion. I demand a sacrifice!

CookieMuncher: I’m not volunteering. Heck, I’m not even a !

AngelLeader: I have now accepted my existence in Hell. What did I miss?

TheAmazingRapper: The Devil demands a sacrifice. Which could be hard to get since no one here is a !

AngelLeader: Siwon is.

OldChap: But Siwon isn’t here! HE’S NOT EVEN DEAD!

TheAlmightyOne: That could be arranged………..

Bilbo: I agree with my lord and saviour!

LordAndSaviour: Oh, cool. I like this new name. You should tell God about it! He will be so proud! And then daddy will finally tell me that he loves me.

GD: And you’re wondering why I should be the new Devil? You’ve got issues, man, real issues.

Man: Back to this. I don’t approve. Bilbo, Yesman, Donghae! Whatever your name is! Say something!

BilboYesmanDonghae: What do you want me to say, Mungu

Mungu: Not what I was expecting, dear.

Dear: I am sorry, love.

Love: Definitely not right.

SmokingDancer: I’d say so!

Love: You dare?!

SmokingDancer: Yes, love, I dare.

Love: Oh… All right then. WAIT-

OldChap: Why doesn’t anyone call me something that is or is not my name?

Dear: Well, is or is not my name, that is because we do not know or do know what would be or would have not been what we would or should not have called you that is not what would have been. If you say so and if-

IsOrIsNotMyName: DON’T EVEN!

Dear: Don’t even what, princess?

Princess: Ah! There we go, thank you whoever you are

WhoeverYouAre: You’re welcome.

GD: So… Back to the Sacrifice. I do believe Siwon is the one. To be sacrificed, I mean. And you should go get him. With haste. I suggest.

TheAmazingRapper: Aha? So that you could what, take over Hell?

Love: Don’t be silly. I would still be down here!

GD: No, I… You should go with them. To…make sure…no one…escapes… Yeah.

Love: Ah, you make a valid point.

SmokingDancer: And you’re going to leave GD in charge of your precious Hell?

Love: When you say it like that…… why not?

SmokingDancer: Well… Ah, it! Your choice

Love: It’s nice that people let me make my own choices in my own house. Unlike-

GD: Garden.

Love: …my father who never let me speak my mind. He threw me out because of that you know? It was the hardest time of my life… It’s just…so horrible.

SmallChild: *gives napkin* There, there. Don’t cry, sweetheart. Tell me all about it.

Sweetheart: I was all alone down here. *dries tears* I mean… literally! I didn’t even have a chair! I got it later…

WhoeverYouAre: And in our world, some children… like a bunch… or a handful… or even just a few… don’t even have… a chair. It is… my greatest sadness.

SmokingDancer: No it’s not!

Princess: How would you know?! You never listened to his problems! You only cared about yourself! You are just too afraid…of commitment!

SmokingDancer: Yeah, sure…

Hankyung: Who knew I’d scratch my broken nails even against the walls of Hell?

GD: FOR THE LAST ING TIME! IT IS A GARDEN! NO ING WALLS.

Hankyung: And for the last ing time-

Sweetheart: Enough! I demand my - right, I’ve already said this. It’s hard to not repeat myself when none of you ever listen!

SmallChild: I am listening. Tell me more.

SmallChild: Me too!

Sweetheart: Talk about repeating…

SmallChild: We’re different people! Tell him, mother!

Mother: I’m back to where I started!

Key: WHAT? I am NOT the mother!? AGAIN?

Mother: Hehehe

SmallChild: You’ll always be my mother.

MyMother: Thank you.

Hankyung: The name thing is starting to get more and more lenient on what qualifies as calling someone something.

SmokingDancer: Shut up.

ShutUp: See what I mean?

GD: I know the way to stop this!

All: HOW?!

Everyone: Are you back?! I’ve missed you! *hug*

All: I’ve missed you too, whatever you identify as.

WhateverYouIndentifyAs: Ah *bliss*

GD: Kill Siwon!

TheAmazingRapper: Sounds logical in all this madness…

WhoeverYouAre: That is very good of you to say, carbon based descendant of an ape.

CarbonBasedDescendantOfAnApe: Yup, something must definitely be done…

SmokingDancer: Am I the only one who has avoided being called something that isn’t my name?

Mr: Depends on how you see it. Technically AND Metaphorically your name is not “SmokingDancer”. Leading to the interesting question whether or not I was actually correct in my previous statement.

SmokingDancer: I have officially given up and now agree with GD.

GD: HURRAY.

Hankyung: Ha, not even exclamation mark. I am not surprised. *rocking back and forth in fetal position*

SmallChild: Hyung, are you all right?

Hyung: Yes, not problem. *chanting madly* Not a problem, call me Hankyung… Call me Hunngjdhgskjghk

SmallChild: I shall call you-

SmokingDancer: I REFUSE!

Mr: What are you refusing? Tell me. I am the MR!

GD: Just get out and look for Siwon already! I am getting tired of this . And I miss Author… and the point!

HanMin: WHICH IS?

WhoeverYouAre: MINNE!

Minne: Yes?

WhoeverYouAre: You came for me!

Minne: I’ve actually been here… All the time. But I and Kangin-

Naruto: Kangin and I~!

Minne: Thank you Mr Grammarnazi

MrGrammarNazi: You are welcome. And I love my new name!

Minne: That is completely off the point… which I don’t know that it is.

Hyung: What are you even trying to say?

Minnie: Hannie!

Hannie: Oh good gracious! I am back to my own me!

Mr: I doubt that…

Hannie: Minnie! You cured me! I am forever in your debt!

Minne: Marry me!

Hannie: No…

Minne: Oh.

GD: Killing Siwon!

Sweetheart: Are you trying to manipulate me?

GD: Yes, and I am not at all subtle about it.

Sweetheart: I see. EVERYONE! Let’s kill Siwon!

Everyone: Why must I?!

Sweetheart: I meant everyone as in everyone who is or is not in the…gardenhouse… that is or is not mine.

SmokingDancer: You don’t seem too sure about yourself. Did God leave you in confusion as a child? Tell small child all about it.

Princess: I swear Hyuk! You only exist to ruin everyone’s life!

Everyone: ‘TIS TRUE!

Hyuk: Damn you Heechul. Damn You.

Heechul: I am a genius.

Hannie: I think you’re using the term “genius” a bit loosely.

Heechul: I beg the difference.

Hannie: No, you beg TO DIFFER!

Sweetheart: You can beg all you’d like, I am never changing! Those were the words I told God… before he threw me out of Heaven for good. To rot in Hell with nothing but a stone for company. Small child, are you there?

Mr: Now you have us!

Sweetheart: I preferred the stone…

Stone: HA! IN ALL YA MADDOFOCKING FAZEZ!

Sweetheart: STONE! You came back for me!

GD: No…

*stone is thrown out*

GD: KAZAM!

Sweetheart: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. That was my pet stone Sten! He was the only friend I ever had!

SmokingDancer: That is understandable.

Sweetheart: What are you implying?!

SmokingDancer: That you are a er who deserved to be thrown out of Heaven and to rot here in Hell with no friends, not even your pet stone Sten. THAT is what I’m implying.

Sweetheart: Oh, I didn’t think you’d be so crass.

TheAppa: I think I’ve gone wrong. This is a house.

SmallChild: Father!

Father: What?

SmallChild: The family is gathered!

Luke: It is?

WhoeverYouAre: Yes, my brother. It is.

Father: Where is your mother?

Mother: I’m right here.

SmallChild: Mother, father! Take me out of this wretched place! For I long to feel the grass under my bare feet and the sun rays onto my face!

GD: This is a garden! There is grass! Though no sun… Also, kill…Siwon…Like…NOW!

CarbonBasedDescendantOfAnApe: I do agree, let’s all go kill Siwon. It’s just…how do we get out of Hell? Is there an Exit?

Sweetheart: Nooooooo! Why do you think I’d have an exit? No one gets in – I mean… out of here.

CarbonBasedDescendantOfAnApe: So… We can’t kill Siwon… So… We can’t give you a sacrifice…

GD and Sweetheart: NOOOOOOOOOOO! *wails, as in sausage*

Heechul: How would you wail as in sausage?

CookieMuncher: It’s surprisingly simple.

Heechul: Could you elaborate on that?

CookieMuncher: What would you like me to elaborate?

Heechul: …the thing you just-

Hannie: Don’t even… It won’t work… It never works… Nothing…ever works… No… not…ever…

WhoeverYouAre: So… Anyone up for a thrilling game of…chess?

Heechul: I prefer Twister…

Hannie: Of course you do…

SmallChild: I like Twister too! :D

Sweetheart: There will be no fun in Hell!

Mr: Kyu, I think it’s been fun.

SmallChild: Why did you start your sentence with your own nickname?

Mr: Kuy… Kyu… Kow? Whatever. What was I saying?

SmallChild: Never mind.

GD: It HAS been fun. Now…not so much…

Hannie: I blame rap music.

CarbonBasedDescendantOfAnApe: Good for you…

Mr: Kyu, I blame the fay.

BillCompton: Me too… Always.

Hannie: Now we have vampires too? YOU DON’T EVEN EXSIST! Like the Author,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

GD: THE AUTHOR DOES EXSIST! I’ve seen them with mine own eyes!

Hyuk: Are you Scottish now?

Hannie: Yes,,,,,,,,,,,,

CarbonBasedDescendantOfAnApe: What’s with all the commas?

Hannie: What are you talking about,,,,,?

Sweetheart: I think you’re pressing the wrong key, chap.

Chap: NO! ! I’d just gotten my damn name back!

Sweetheart: Life is hard…down here…in hell.

Chap: YOU OLD ER!

Older: That is not nice…

GD: By the way, how old are you, old er?

Older: I’m somewhere around 2083 years three months two weeks and a day old. Not that I’m counting or anything.

WhoeverYouAre: Ya know… There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Hannie: Like…what happened to us?

*chaos occurs, briefly*
*Time and Space no longer hold any meaning*

Taemin: Kallade du min pojkvän ett fnask?!

Kai: Bai bo! What did you just say?

AmazingRapper: THAT’S ADVERTisement…!

AngelLeader: Random capitalized letters?

AmazingRapper: My throat hurts…

HandsomeGamer: I feel like killing Siwon…

VisualSiwon: WHAT?!

GD: Yes… I agree with you…old sport…

HandsomeGamer: The , man?

Man: I deem this an atrocity! An outrage! A scam! A sham! A bunch of English words I don-

The End!

Thank you so much for staying during these months I haven't updated! I hope the final chapter pleases you. I don't know if I will write more of these but in that case I'll post it here! Though it won't happen any time soon, I think. Anyway. Thank you all! ^^ <3

P.S Hope it wasn't too damn confusing xD