♥♥♥
Red Lips & Soft Fingers { h i a t u s }
chapter three
jongdae's dilemma;
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He was a so-called ‘gentleman’, a macho, a Casanova of our times. People used to believe he was perfect. Even when he made mistakes, he was seen as if he was a kind of statue of David. But in Kim Jongdae’s eyes, he was nothing like the world liked to define him. He was just a simple kid; as all of them. He had nothing special to make him different. No, he was also not perfect because if he was, he wouldn’t have been able to call himself a ‘human’. He had a lot of bad things, not just in his behavior, but also in his physique; things Jongdae would have never been able to count on his fingers, that’s why he never saw the other the way the world did. After all, he was just him; the 18 years old arrogant Wu YiFan which Chen always laughed at for being so full of himself.
But since when started Jongdae thinking at the latter when the boy wasn’t around? Since when did he start counting his bad things? Since when did he try to realize why people liked to believe he was flawless? There wasn’t a certain time to answer those questions with. Maybe it had been since forever. Or maybe the moment they first talked. Or perhaps the day he was heartlessly pulled by his pants by a certain Kim Jongin, and accidentally fell over the said one. But what mattered in that moment wasn’t when it all started, but why?
“The next one, please come in!” the principal called, then he closed the door after a certain boy Chen knew as the name of Zhang YiXing walked inside the office. Jongdae sighed.
There were times when he doubted his brain’s capacity to perceive the world around him, people’s feelings and also his own ones. Chen was smart, of course he was. No, he wasn’t the smartest person his high school ever met, and he himself also didn’t believe it, but he was good in school subjects, especially in math. He wouldn’t have been surprised if the principal have called him for going to a contest, but instead he was called to tutor somebody. And this, for Chen, was the worst nightmare ever because he never had enough patience to explain his math knowledge to some stupid brat who had no intention to learn.
“Next!” the principal called again, making Jongdae stand up from the chair and walk towards the door of the said one’s office. An angry looking YiXing rushed past him, making Jongdae slowly raise one of his eyebrows, but finally decided it was none of his business what a stranger like the latter did, so ended up ignoring him. “Do you know why have you been called here, Mister Kim?”
“To tutor.” Chen simply answered, taking a seat.
“That’s right. One of the best painters of our high school has some problems passing this year with a high grade because of the subject you’re a genius at.”
“And you want me to tutor him.” Chen played with a pen, showing no interest in the principal’s words. However, his attention turned towards the door of the office when it opened, revealing the smiling face of the guy Kyungsoo kept asking him about; Kim Joonmyun.
“Am I late? He’s my tutor?” he pointed his index finger to Jongdae. “Cool. Tomorrow, in the lunch break, you find me near the old hut behind the west wing of the school’s building. See you later.” Joonmyun closed the door, leaving Jongdae completely speechless, staring at the door with the usual poker face he had when Kim Jongin wasn’t around.
Because of the rude idiot Chen had now to tutor, the said one’s mind forgot somehow about the Casanova he has been thinking at in the past few days. But it didn’t last too long seeing the other in the cafeteria, in the middle of a crowd full of girls who were giving him tons of presents. This didn’t surprise Chen because, yeah, YiFan was receiving gifts everyday, but the weird thing was the crappy hat he was wearing. What day was it again? Oh yeah…
Wu YiFan’s birthday!
However, it was none of Chen’s business. It wasn’t like he had to buy him a gift or something. After all, there was nothing which linked them together.
Sighing as always, Jongdae tightened his grip on his backpack and passed by them. Anyhow, he couldn’t help but stare at the latter’s side profile; handsome, Chen thought, but the idea immediately vanished when he locked eyes with the so-called gentleman’s. Kris’ eyes had something strange inside them, something Chen shivered at the sight of, something he wished to never grow to meet.
Averting his eyes from the other, Chen’s attention moved at the crowd of females. There were so many beautiful girls, girls Kris never accepted to date, girls Jongdae would love to have all around him. Or maybe this would have been his wish before the tall, blond, popular boy filled his mind. A thing was weird, however. Who in the right mind would reject such beautiful girls? Maybe YiFan had a real reason to do so, like a girlfriend. But Chen never heard about one, after all. Maybe it was a secret one; a girl Kris wanted to keep away from the other people. Or maybe girls simply weren’t his thing. What a foolish thought, Chen shook his head. There wasn’t such thing as boys loving or crushing on other boys; it was not right and also forbidden. And, why would guys choose guys when, again, there were so many beautiful girls out there?
“Hey!” Jongdae was pulled by the sleeve of his t-shirt down, on a chair. “What’s up ChenChen with a big mouth which is saying many stupid things?” Chen could only roll his eyes.
“Screw you, Jongin! I’m not in the mood.” He hissed making the latter raise an eyebrow and look in the direction Jongdae was staring.
“Why are you looking at Kris?”
“I’m not!” he cried, dashing out of cafeteria, leaving Jongin finish his lunch all by himself.
He was the only one on the corridor, wandering like an insane person, going where his legs were taking him to. Chen’s mind was a complete mess because of him. There were tons of silly questions inside his mind, questions with the same answer, an answer Chen knew but was too stubborn to say out loud.
In the corner of his eyes, Jongdae saw a tall figure staying in front of the big window from the bottom of the staircase of the second floor, with his back at the latter. That messy blond hair, Chen recognized it. After all, it was impossible to not. It was no other than him, Wu YiFan.
Slowly closing his eyes, Chen could only enjoy the silence and try to clear his thoughts; it was kind of impossible though. When he opened them, he met some brown, beautiful orbs which were staring straight into his. Jongdae had no idea what to do next. His lips slightly parted, the boy feeling the urge to say something, but no words came out. Kris only rolled his eyes and brought the cigarette to his lips, then blew the smoke in Jongdae’s direction.
“May I help you?” he asked. His voice was empty, Chen could feel it. Kris put the question with no feeling in it and even though he wanted to simply ignore the black-haired one, his pride didn’t let him to.
“No.” Jongdae mumbled, lowering his head. “I was just passing by. I’m sorry for disturbing you.” He sighed, and when he raised his head to look again at YiFan, he couldn’t help but be surprised when he saw a small smile playing on the other’s thin lips.
Then and there, Kim Jongdae realized something: he could accept he had feelings for the Casanova-Wu YiFan and end up like all those fan girls of his out there, or simply deny them and finally remain the ‘straight’ Kim Jongdae everybody knew, who was admiring without his will, from behind the shadows, a guy he couldn’t stand. No matter what he would have chosen, he would have ended the same way: crushing on him.
This was Kim Jongdae’s dilemma; a dilemma he knew the ways to get out of; a dilemma its solution he found out.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- cr
school and stuff forced me put this on hiatus. darn, long time not updated it. sorreeeeey ;_; as fast as i get time and inspiration imma gonna continue it
Comments