Chapter VI
water2wineIt was a cloudy afternoon. It would rain soon.
Chaerin had not attended to her father’s funeral properly. She had watched it from far, waiting for the right time to say goodbye.
It was around 3pm and one single person remained at the cemetery.
Chaerin recognized the old man as her family’s butler.
That man had seen her growing up; he had been the one who had prepared tea when she had her first hangover; he had always taken care of that broken family after her mother died…
Chaerin met the butler at the cemitery’s gate.
She wore sunglasses to cover her eyes.
“He had always loved you and your mother, Chaerin…” – the butler said – “That’s the one thing you can be sure of”
She didn’t say anything.
Before leaving, the butler handed her a sealed envelope.
She took it without saying a word.
It started raining at the exact moment she spoke, staring at her father’s grave, next to her mother’s: “Hello, dad.”
Chaerin took her sunglasses off. It’s not polite to talk to your parents wearing sunglasses.
She kneeled in front of her parents’ graves.
Chaerin cried, bowing.
“I’m so sorry…mom…dad…I’m sorry.” – she spoke.
Charin had cried for nearly an hour.
She had been to the cemetery before, to visit her mother’s grave.
Nobody would see her crying there.
Her tears had eventually stopped falling, unlike the rain.
Standing in front of her parents’ grave, Chaerin opened the envelope she had received.
A letter.
Her father’s handwriting.
“My daughter,
I know very well that I have not been a model father, and I do know you blame on me for your mother’s death.
I have not lived a single day without thinking of her, without remembering her smile and her eyes, that looked exactly like yours. Not a single day I have spent without thinking I should have been there for her. I should have been there for you.
I do not write this letter to ask for forgiveness, but for comprehension, although I do not expect you to understand it. I wouldn’t either.
Just know that everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you and your mother.
At last, I would like to apologize. I was blinded by selfishness. I should have never turned my back to you when you needed me the most. Because I was not strong to keep myself up, I had accidentally put you down, locking myself into work, making sure you would have everything money could buy, but forgetting about what was really important.
I write this letter because I’m afraid it is too late. I do know I’m not worth of your love, for I have not been a real father, and, as foolish as it is, I do wish I could go back in time and change everything, starting from the day we lost the one that was everything.
I’ve always loved your mother, Chaerin. I always will. I beg you not to doubt it.
I love you, my daughter. I beg you not to forget it.”
Chaerin cried.
Her father had suffered just like she had, of course he had.
“I’m sorry…” – she whispered. Her eyes tearing again.
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