I couldn’t focus throughout any of my classes – even Music. My mind just wasn’t up for it, and it didn’t help that Hoya was in all my classes – him and his group ‘Infinite.’ There were seven of them, including Hoya, and they were, hands down, the most pursed group of boys in our whole school. The only people who ever had enough courage to talk to them were a group of girls who were equally as sought-out for – their ring leader being no one else but Park Jiyeon. Together they made the most desirable boys and girls of the school, and when the teacher wasn’t talking; all students (even the taken ones) were drooling over them.

It would’ve been absolutely pathetic, except the fact that I was doing the same thing.

Yes I, Choi Soojung, self-proclaimed genius and single lady (because in the words of Miss A, I don’t need a man), was crushing on Hoya, possibly one of the most popular boys at school. Go ahead, laugh.

Oh, this was just great. There went my proposal (and New Years Resolution, mind you) of being the responsible, hard-working and perfect daughter my parents would’ve wanted. I was planning to get straight-As this year – nothing more, nothing less. There went that plan. I retied my hair for what seemed like the six hundred and seventy-eighth time that day, staring at the board. None of the notes made sense.

And this was music – how could things not make sense?

I rolled my eyes at myself. Clearly today was not my day. I didn’t see the point in trying – after all, it wasn’t my day. You can’t work against fate when it’s like that.

Some people are just meant to take certain days off. I am one of them.

Lunch was horrible. Stupid Jieun went off with her boyfriend again – and pretty much everyone was sitting with their lover, who they would ultimately dump and write sad status posts about by the end of the week. The aftermath of being hopelessly single started to take its toll on me. I found myself a seat, eating my lunch alone as I glanced wistfully back at Jieun. She didn’t seem to notice me; she herself too absorbed with Wooyoung, her boyfriend. I shoved a spoonful of rice into my mouth, almost choking.

Look away, look away they’re feeding each other oh God do they even know who’s looking?

I looked around, wondering if anyone shared my disgust. Nope; forever alone I am.

I spent the whole of lunch glaring angrily at Jieun, stopping only to glance meaningfully – may I stress the word meaningfully – at Hoya, the world’s most perfect creation. No, it’s not an over-extravagation. Yes, he is hands down the hottest human being in the planet. It’s not just him – all his friends are perfect. Every single one of them. I sighed. Who wouldn’t fall for them? I bet Jieun likes them too, even if she’s taken.

Oh, the sad life of a boyfriend-less girl.

It wouldn’t actually be that bad you know. I mean, it’s not like I need anyone – after all, what had Lee Byunghun done anyways – but there’s no one to talk. No one. No. One. Absolutely no one to talk to – no one who’s not kissing their stupid boyfriend or speaking in that annoying baby voice. It was a sad life. Lunch ended up being infinitely longer than it usually was as I sighed again.

The classes which followed ended up being even worse and impossibly more boring that the ones before. I barely kept awake as the teacher kept going on and on about business strategies and how everything she was saying now was going to be on the test. I groaned silently. This was clearly, yet again, not my day. And to make it worse, after this year I’d be going on to university. Great. Just great. I slapped myself mentally.

Choi Soojung, I told myself, get your act together!

Oh god, but look at Hoya? Oh my god, the way he looks when he’s focusing. He’s so cute I swear! I wonder if he has a girlfriend – of course he must – and she’s one lucky thing and –

Well; there went getting my act together.

When I got home, I dumped my bag roughly on the ground, making no attempt to even start my homework. Clearly today was not my day – what was the point of doing homework when I just wasn’t up for it? It was obvious I wouldn’t be working to my full potential in my current state. I decided to take the day off – go around on the internet and calm my mind so I could work to my full potential.

Tomorrow.

I changed into my pyjamas, letting my hair out as I climbed onto my chair, getting ready for a hardcore night of checking pictures of idols – and possibly stalking my own in-school idol. It seemed like the perfect atmosphere – good music, bright lights and fast wifi – when suddenly I heard a knock.

“Yah! Choi Soojung! Open up this door!”

I recognised the voice of my prissy neighbour immediately. Getting out of my chair reluctantly, I met the door with a yawn. Unlike myself, she seemed bright and wide awake – the perfect combination for this stupid old lady to nag. This was just great.

“What’s wrong old hag?”

She whacked me on the head. “Yah! Don’t be disrespectful – I’m not that old.” She shook her head. “Aish, you kids are all lazy and disoriented now-a-days. I bet you haven’t even started your homework.”

“Really now,” I mumbled under my breath. She jabbed me again. “Hey!”
 

“Get yourself together Choi Soojung!” she said fiercely. Oh god, my ears. “Soon you’ll be graduating, and with your horrible habits – and ugly clothing – you’ll never go anywhere in life.” She threw a bunch of flyers at me, “And you forgot to pick up your mail! Stupid little girl.”

I caught the few I could protectively.

“Yah! I’m seventeen!” I insisted, fumbling with the pieces of paper. A few fell at my feet as my neighbour invited herself in, complaining about the mess and stacks of instant ramen cups. She narrowly side-stepped past a half-full cup of ramen, her nose screwing in disgust.

“Do you eat nothing more than ramen?” she demanded, picking a few empty cups off the table.

“I have nothing else to eat!” I objected, my arms huddling the cups towards me protectively. I watched as she rolled her eyes. Stupid, stupid old lady! “I’m a full-time student,” I told her stiffly, “I don’t have time to cook!”

“You’re also a full-time fool,” she muttered, loud enough for me to hear. She began to pick up and sort through my rubbish, placing everything in the respective bins. By the time she’d finished, it seemed that we were both able to walk around without stepping or tripping on anything too unhygienic.

“Thank you, Ahjumma,” I said sincerely. She nodded.

“Just make sure you look after yourself.” She brought out a chopping board, beginning to slice the vegetables she’d brought in when she entered. Looks like we weren’t having ramen tonight. It was the first time in two weeks.

“Now pick up all your letters off the floor. Just looking at the state your place is in makes me want to cry.”

“Yah!”

I did what I was told, sorting through the advertisements about new dishwashers and special offers in the local market. Nothing really caught my attention – they were the same as they always were. I loaded them all into the bin under the kitchen bench. Suddenly, a bright flyer caught my eye. It was sitting right on top of the marble table, covered slightly by a mug.

“Ahjumma, what’s this?” I held the paper up, watching as she squinted at me.

“This isn’t my house fool,” she said, “I don’t know what you keep.”

I ignored her, reading the flyer myself.

Sick of cheating, imperfect and unimpressive boyfriends? Bored of bad manners and ignored messages?

Look no further – order your own perfect boyfriend today!

Behind it was a form to fill out. It looked pretty legitimate – no matter how stupid the idea sounded. Perfect boyfriend eh? That was exactly what I needed. I looked at the form warily. Still, I couldn’t be sure.

My neighbour looked over my shoulder, startling me. “Perfect boyfriend? Wow, you really are a sad kid.”

“Yah!” I said angrily. I found a pen on the floor, quickly scribbling in my details. I needed a perfect boyfriend – especially since no one wanted to hang out with their friends anymore. She was right – I was a sad and lonely kid. Jieun didn’t even call me anymore. Ever since she and Wooyoung had become a couple, there wasn’t enough time for Choi Soojung. This was exactly what I needed.

It was the exact thing which was going to make me a happy, popular kid.

I looked at the form in satisfaction. In no time I wouldn’t be lonely-Soojung anymore. I looked at the flyer again. At the top near my name, an empty corner caught my eye. I needed a stamp.

I turned to my neighbour hopefully. “Auntie?”

She rolled her eyes. “So as soon as you need something I’m called Auntie? Aish you kids are really something.” She took the form out of my hands, grumbling about the state of kids in this generation. “I’ll post it in the morning.”

I smiled widely at her, “Thank you Auntie! I love you so much!”

She nodded stiffly. “Just go take a shower Soojung. You stink like hell – no wonder you have no boyfriend.” 

OKAY PEOPLE THIS IS ZUCCIHNI. SHE IS THE MORE EPIC AND INFINITELY LESS HILARIOUS  AND THE SLOWEST WRITER OF THE THREE OF US. 

The other two were meant to proof read but eh. Not my problem. But, we are sorry that we accidently marked this story as completed and have, on more than one occasion, left WIPs published (you guys can blame me Kumquat for that). However, we hope you enjoy this chapter!