Hoya: If I could have one thing come back, it would be Sungjong's pure smile.

Sungjong knew why his hyung had said that, and he knew that the other members were thinking the same. He also knew that his fans were worried and could tell his decreasing amount of smile more and more throughout the days.  Was it because of all the work he had to do? No. The fact that he had became an adult? Not at all. The fact that he wanted to seem more manly? Far from it. Just why was it that Lee Sungjong, the lemon candy prince, couldn't smile as he use to? The maknae wondered himself.

Sitting up in bed, Sungjong set aside his bear as he glanced down at his phone. What was bothering him so much that it would show publicly? Normally, he was good at hiding the fact he was down, but this time around... Nothing was working. Pursing his lips, he decided to lay back down again and pull the covers over himself. What was he to do? Where was this feeling of depression coming from?

If he found out, maybe he could smile again.

The next day he found himself sitting with the leader and other producers as they got ready for his solo release. Sunggyu and Woohyun was working so diligently that he couldn't help but warm up a small smile. The leader clearly loved what he was doing and it was showing on his facial features. The skilled singer was just amazing and it actually didn't bore the younger male at all as he contently listened to the song every time he sung; even if it was a repeat of the chorus on many different pitches to see which fitted perfectly. Being the perfectionist that the cheesy member was, Woohyun had to correct their leader in everything he did. It was just amusing to the maknae to watch how annoyed and flustered Sunggyu would get at everything that he was being corrected on. 

He could see how they would correct the lyrics here and there to make it flow nicer or how they would change the ending pitch just to make sure the song would come together. Every single person having their own job as Sungjong sat there and sipped a bit of his bubble tea and contently watched. One person the youngest member of Infinite had to look up to was definitely Sunggyu and his skillful voice and experience. A great leader and singer; yet he seemed to always be the victim of the abuse on camera.

"Ah! I forgot. I need to help the twins with their vocal lessons... You better not screw up Mr. Shine or you'll be getting it back at the dorm." The greasy member stated with a huff before standing up and bowing everyone a goodbye.

Sunggyu would only swat the younger male away with an annoyed expression before giving him a smile and nodding. "Alright alright. Go help the kids." He stated, clearly hoping that Woohyun would shut up and leave, which only made the vocalist laugh.

"Arra. But don't you forget. They're your hyungs." With that said, Woohyun had disappeared beyond the door.

A soft sigh passed his lips as he thought once again about how Sunggyu was really releasing a solo. His own album this time. When asked for his opinion, he put on a soft smile and nodded with two thumbs up after placing his drink down on the coffee table. "It'll be amazing, hyung. A great hit. Inspirits will love it." Of course that made the hardworking leader happy to hear such words come from the thoughtful member. Sunggyu always appreciated his compliments, even if he did pick on him all the time. He felt a hand run through his hair and ruffle it up, which made the maknae huff slightly and glare. "Y-Yah! that's my hair!"

"Infinite is lucky to have you"

Blinking a bit, Sungjong had to take his time to register that. Infinite was lucky to have him? Was that what the bossy leader had said? The bossy leader with the huge ego? He was sure his cheeks flushed slightly as he tried to clear his throat and glance up at the other. He didn't need for it to be repeated since he heard it clearly. He knew the leader wouldn't repeat it anyways. Words like that were always rare and only came once. Of course, even if it was just a bit disheartening that the leader was on his own for now, that was not the reason why Sungjong had lost his smile.

When Sunggyu went into the recording booth to began recording the track, that was when Sungjong excused himself and walked out of the room. He didn't want to be a distraction, not to his hyung. Looking around the hallway, he noticed the room inside the Woollim building that was labeled 'Infinite-H'. Hoya and Dongwoo were both also practicing for their sub group debut. Peeking through the glass window on the door, he noticed how busy it looked and questioned whether or not he should walk in before finding himself caught by none other than Dongwoo.

He could tell that the male was grinning his stupid grin, noticing how he was dashing towards the door and swung it open. Before Sungjong could even do anything else, he found himself in the rappers tight hold along with a loud "JONGIE~" right by his ear. Honestly, he didn't even know what he was going to do with the older male sometimes. He seemed like such a handful.

Nervously laughing, the smaller male hugged the shortest member back with a small pat before finding himself released from the breath taking hold. "H-Hyung. I didn't want to interrupt you guys... Are things going well?" Sungjong asked curiously, hoping to make the conversation short.

"Of course. Things are going extremely great!" He heard Hoya speak, walking up towards them as he eyed the producers in the background laughing around and eating. "We're on break right now, so it's no big deal. "

That made Sungjong feel a wave of relief wash over him knowing that he didn't interuptt anything important. Bowing to his two hyungs, he took a step back. "You guys should get back to eating then. Make sure to do well for Infinte-H!" He grinned with a quick fist pump.

"And Infinite." The older rapper reminded, poking at the younger's forehead. "Infinite is always number one priority." He stated with a firm and goofy smile. The contagious smile that made everyone around him do the same. With this, Sungjong could only nod and smile back, that was until he the other walked back into the room because he was quickly called for.

"Ah... You should go to Hoya hyung. Hwaiting!" Before Sungjong could turn around and walk away though, he soon found himself stopping at Hoya's words.

"You gave it your all. That's all that matters." The purple lover quickly went back into the room when that was said and done. The words echoed in his mind still though as his gaze was fixated on the ground. Sungjong wasn't sure if he understood the phrase at all. Hoya definitely knew him better than he knew himself, but at the same time, he questioned if Hoya did or not because this time... things did not make any sense at all.

Deciding to shrug it off, he walked back to the dorm on his own. Myungsoo had to shoot his drama and Sungyeol was instructing his brother and the Tasty twins on dancing and team work. Thinking about it now, maybe he wasn't smiling because it felt as if he was apart from the other Infinite members. It felt so alone now to know that you're walking back home to no one at all. Everyone was doing their own thing, finding their own dreams to chase outside of Infinite that he was just left behind. Since Ranking King has ended, Infinite has rarely been together in a casual way off camera. The joyful times hasn't been as joyful since everyone doesn't end their schedule together anymore. No one starts together anymore. If he could pick whether he wanted to be bullied or to be alone, he'd rather be bullied.

That wouldn't fit with what Hoya said though. It just couldn't. He hasn't done enough for Infinite to say that he has given it his all, so what could this really be about? Just because Sunggyu has his solo and the rappers have their sub group as well as Myungsoo having his acting and Woohyun and Sungyeol having their classes... What could be bothering him? Because he had nothing to do? Was that it? Maybe it was. He hated the feeling of being alone without the other members and he hated not having everyone together. Even if he was picked on a lot.. The dorm seemed more homey when everyone was together.

With DuNuCo. He did miss those dogs dearly. Was it because he wasn't able to see them anymore? He really did hope to see them for his birthday, but he wasn't able to. It did sadden him a bit, but surely not this much to upset him to this point. Those rascals caused him tons of trouble, but they were like his kids. They were so joyful and sweet. Sighing once again, he shook the memories away to prevent himself from thinking further on about the three siblings.

Unlocking the door to the apartment, he sighed and muttered a small 'I'm home' to no one in particular before making his way to his room. That was until he heard a small noise coming from one of the other rooms. Could it be them? DuNuCo?

He bit on his lips in hopes that it was while quietly walking over to the room across from his own. Pressing his ears up against it, he tried to focus on the sounds in side before finding himself quickly regreting it all. He remembered now. He understood now. Quietly stepping away, he soon heard the door being unlocked and out came Myungsoo who looked more than shocked that Sungjong was home.

"S-Sungjong. I didn't think you'd be home so.. early." The words came out as a mutter, the visual being unsure as to what he should say before another person piped in from behind him.

"Ah, Sungjong is home?! I thought he had something to do." It was definitely Sungyeol's voice.

A nervous laugh escaped Sungjong's lips as he tried to force on a smile. "A-AH... I am... I just.. forgot my phone... Yeah. I-I'll be leaving!" He quickly bowed to them both and fled the room as quickly as he could, running out into the cold winds. Running as far as he could away from the building, he let out a big breath of air before trying to take one in. It was painful. Really painful. He remembers now and he wish he didn't.

Inspirits were fighting about how Myungsoo should be with him, or how Myungsoo should be with Sungyeol. Things were just overwhelming to see the fans breaking apart because of such a thing. It was obvious that Myungsoo cared for Sungyeol. It was obvious that Myungsoo enjoyed pleasing the other. He loved making Sungyeol smile. All he could do was silently thank those that wanted him with the ice prince visual, but he knew he was at a lost. This only happened since it was obvious to the fans that he was in love with the visual. With all these thoughts on his mind, how could he smile? Infinite slowly separating. Inspirits breaking apart over stupid wars. How he will never have a chance with Myungsoo. These thoughts weighed on his mind greatly as he couldn't find anything to do to keep it away.

Noticing an empty bench not far away from where he was, Sungjong dragged himself over to it and quickly sat down, shivering slightly from the cold air. He wish things could turn back to the way it was before they got this popular. When Infinite was still working as 7. When Inspirits were together as a whole. And when he didn't have these stupid feelings for Myungsoo.

Why did the visual have to tell him he loves him on his birthday like that? the gullible maknae almost thought it was a real confession. It was just the two of them the night his birthday came, only them two sitting beside each other in the quiet living room. And Myungsoo told him happy birthday right at midnight, along with a 'I love you' . Yet... It wasn't in the way he wished it would be.

Wiping away the tears that were forcing their way out, Sungjong took a deep breath. Sometimes he wished he was never a part of Infinite. Maybe if he didn't pick this road in life, things would be a lot happier for him. Rubbing his irritated eyes, he glanced up at the sky and noticed how it started to snow. Maybe if the snow buried his feelings for the older male, he could focus on everything else one step at a time. 

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I'm actually working on the squeal for this ... slowly. OTL. I know I have a lot of fics undone and I do want to finish them but my motivation to do so is zero. ;__; Hopefully I can finish the squeal for this without rushing it u-u