story  

review by: KindergartenGirl

title : I'll Remember You

Title: [5/5] 

the title really fit with the plot of the story (^^) and grammar, capitalization, and spelling was all great! 

Description: [8/10]

there’s just some grammatical mistakes and the description could’ve described a little more. Really, when I finished

reading the description, I had no clue where BEAST came out from. A little history of BEAST could’ve helped and B.A.P

too.

Graphic: [8/10]

the poster was great. It really fit with the angst genre. The only thing was the animation. Being it an angst genre, it was

necessarily needed because most animation is used in romcoms, cute, light, and action kind of posters. And, it made the

quote hard to read at first glance. Also, the font didn’t really combine with the angst feel.

Plot: [7/10]

from the very beginning, it was already predictable. The girl died and Yongguk is mourning but will “always remember her” 

But the fact that the girl actually died and this story had more of a sadder ending than a happy one was different.

Originality: [5/10]

I have to admit, the ‘gangster’ plot is an overused one. In this case, with two gangs fighting over one girl. It would’ve

havepassed if this ‘gangster’ plot had some kind of exotic twist to it. But, since it was super angsty to the point where

the girl actually dies, I’ll let you have credit for that.

Flow: [7/10]

the flow was pretty much good until we reach the warehouse scene. It was quite confusing. But, besides that, it was pretty

much fine.

Grammar and Spelling: [25/30]

everything is pretty good, in general. There were only a few grammar mistakes and spelling but it was those minor things.

For example, ‘me and Daehyun’ is correctly ‘Daehyun and I’ always put the other person(s) before you. 

Writing Style: [5/10]

colors, too many colors. One or two colors are more than enough for an entire story. It’s just an ‘eye sore’ to see too

many colors all jumbled up together. If this was a different story like roleplaying or a story like INFINITE’S Chatroom or

Look! It’s EXO-K’s Facebook! it would’ve been acceptable and even they don’t you as much colors. Also, you don’t

always have to label apart of story “Flashback” or “End of Flashback”. If you describe it well, readers will be able to tell

when a flashback starts andends or you can put the whole flashback in italics if you pleased. Same thing with dreams.

Overall Enjoyment: [10/10]

I love B.A.P. and this story was my first angsty one-shot I’ve read. It was really well-written and I loved it!

Overall Total: [80/100]

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