Kray; The Painter’s Shell 9/?

Sugar Cubes.

Such a girly name for a vintage café. Looking at the café, one would’ve thought that the owner accidentally had his papers switched when he bought this place.

Despite the name, the lightly decorated interior was nice to be in. Wooden floors and furniture, the chalkboard by the door, and the dim lighting all made the café look welcoming, more inviting to university students and just about everyone else, including him.

And Kai.

As usual, the younger had a smile on as he watched Kris make his way to his table, looking kind and friendly, thanks to the warm colours of the sun pouring in through the windows. There was a cut on his lip, but there was no bruise, at least none that he could see.

“Hi Kris,” He said when Kris occupied the seat across his.

“Let’s just get things straight, yeah? I wouldn’t fancy another fist to your face, not in public,” Kris answered tiredly instead of snapping. Last night, he didn’t get much sleep, and with how busy Kai was, it was sheer luck that got them meeting here.

“We’re in public that night and you didn’t seem to care?” Kai said, raising his brows with a mischievous smirk. Kris had to admit he’s got balls, teasing Kris after that night. “Where’s your princess?”

Kris instantly turned grim.

“Talk about him again and I’ll punch a hole through your face,”

“Chill,” Kai chuckled, though the annoyance Kris felt was instantly washed away by guilt when he saw the cut on his lip. “Why are you always so snappy for no reason?”

“You trying to kiss princess isn’t a reason?” Kris asked, his jaw clenched.

That got Kai laughing humourlessly. “You don’t even know what exactly happened, Kris,”

“So why don’t you tell me?” Kris challenged, leaning forward. Kai seemed to hesitate, as if he knew that the story he’d tell could not deter Kris from his rash assumptions.

“I about the pendant,” He started, looking timid as his eyes fell to his hands on the clean surface of the table. “The dragon. I instantly knew it was from you, because he just can’t be a dragon even if he tried. Yixing is gentler, softer than that. But I asked him where he got it from, despite knowing.”

“He took it off to let me have a look. And told me he got it from you,”

Kris stayed silent, looking at him carefully to urge him on.

“And then Baekhyun came in,”

“Baekhyun? You know him?” This is the first time he’s heard of this.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” Kai smirked. “He’s Yixing’s brother, of course I know him. He told me a bit about him when we work. But he talks about you more, don’t worry,”

Kris could feel his heart swell up at the image in his head, and he tried to hide the flush that crept to his cheeks.

“Ew, you’re gross,” Kai said matter-of-factly when he caught it. Then he paused before grinning childishly. “Grossly in love,”

“Shut up,” Kris answered, looking outside the window to avert his. “What happened after that?”

“Oh, I put the necklace back on him. And no don’t worry, it’s not even anything remotely romantic. But Baekhyun seems to think otherwise though, he turned a bit pale and left quickly after that. Maybe he thought I was flirting.” He said while chuckling, finding the idea funny. But Kris did not find it funny, not when the idea could be pictured vividly in his mind.

“Were you not?”

Kai looked positively scandalized as he raised his gaze, looking at Kris with widened eyes and a gaping jaw.

“Are you kidding me? I thought you noticed that I’d stopped!” Then Kris blinked stupidly and he continued, with much more enthusiasm. “I stopped crushing on him after the first meeting! Because you guys are bound to be married and despite what you think, I’m not enough of a bastard to stand in between a marriage! You guys are already living together for god’s sake.”

“But I saw you-“

“On the first day maybe, since you could’ve just killed me with your stare right then. I’m lucky looks can’t kill.”

“Okay. But this doesn’t explain how you were almost kissing him that day,”

“If you were even paying attention to anything else at that time, you could’ve noticed that my shoes are one size too big and that my shoelaces are untied.”

Kai let him absorb the information for a while, before letting a smile form on his face as realization dawned on the other. Kris on the other hand felt stupid, and somewhat disoriented. He couldn’t believe what Kai was telling him, but he also couldn’t refute the fact that it was entirely possible.

“What the ,” He cursed under his breath, feeling like the world’s biggest . For what he’d done to Yixing, to Kai- just .

“Yes, what the .” Kai chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest triumphantly. “As cliché as it sounds, it did happen. If we’re in a novel right now, I could almost picture you running off to Yixing, trying to beg forgiveness out of him, crying all the while. And then Yixing would forgive you and you two will have gross and then jump off a cliff together for a dramatic ending.”

Kris glared at him, at his attempt to sound funny in this situation. “Not funny.”

“I know, I know,” He leaned forward, uncrossing his arms before resting them on the table. “It’s just that you look a bit constipated there. But you know, I just want to say one thing,”

Kai smiled, a genuine smile, with no malice or hints of annoyance whatsoever behind it. It took a moment for Kris to finally realize that Kai’s smile had always been like that. It’s just him, his mind making him think otherwise.

“I may look like this, but I’m still just a child, Kris.” He pouted. “And by the way, I saw that kiss you were trying to show off, and let me tell you that it didn’t piss me off one bit. Instead, I felt happy, really.”

When Kai finally ended his speech, Kris looked at him, taking his features in. He needed to create a new profile for him in his mind, for this kid Jongin, for this child that he had mistaken as the bad guy ruining his life for a while. Replace the devious smirks with these genuine smiles, these childish grins and replace the look in his eyes with one of innocence, of kindness that he never knew Kai had.

It was then that he realized that the bad guy was no one but himself.

--

When he got home past seven, Kris instantly regretted going out. Baekhyun would come back in a few hours, and then he’d ask that question again.

Have you made it up to him yet?

Of course no. Who the hell makes up in only a day? Even when Baekhyun and Chanyeol had fought, they took a few hours more than 24 to make up. Kris was starting to think that this had been unfair, and Baekhyun was unfair for giving him these conditions.

Thinking of Baekhyun, he had slammed the car door a little too loudly. Crunching sounds came from under his feet as he walked to the door, but they became silent when his feet finally met the tiled floor the doorway. He did not knock, and he did not ring the doorbell when he stepped in, so he was not surprised when no one greeted him.

What surprised him though was that the lights were all off in the lower storey. He trudged upstairs in the dark, nearly missing a step as he made his way to the familiar door of Yixing’s room. He was nervous, anxious at the reaction he might get from Yixing, but he tossed them aside, giving the priority to mending their relationship.

“Yixing?” He called softly as he knocked. A minute passed before he heard a rustle, and the door opened to reveal Yixing.

“Yes?” He answered politely, but the impassive face and the cold tone brought Kris back to their first meeting, where Yixing had so clearly expressed his disinterest in the marriage. It struck him how that same scenario could take place once again.

“I- can’t I come in?” He stuttered, and had to bite his lips to bite back his embarrassment.

Yixing looked at him, apprehensive before he stepped away from the door with a nod. Kris let his eyes roam around the room. Yixing had clearly been painting, judging from the wet paint on the palette, but the easel was covered with a white cloth.

“Wouldn’t that ruin the painting?” He asked, pointing to the white cloth.

Yixing seemed to contemplate, looking at the easel before he finally nodded. “It’s already ruined anyway,” With that, he pulled the cloth off, revealing the painting underneath.

And Kris gawked.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Yixing asked casually.

It was a portrait of him, with his hair swept off his forehead. The angle made him look more handsome, and the fact that it was done in black paint hid the fact that his hair was actually dyed blonde, and that his eyes were a light shade of brown. It was indeed, beautiful.

But something was wrong with the way Yixing had portrayed him. In the portrait, he was unsmiling, and his brows were furrowed. Upon closer inspection, he could see a hint of red at the edge of his irises, just near the little spot where light reflected off his eyes, intensifying his stare.

Simply put, he looked dangerous.

“It’s my first time painting a portrait. Even I have to say it turned out quite impressive,” Yixing chuckled humourlessly, albeit victoriously as he inspected the painting. “But I’d say I caught the exact expression,”

Kris knew before Yixing had to say it.

“You see, this was exactly how you looked like at that time. Exactly how you looked at me.” Those words were said and Kris couldn’t help the bitter feeling that wound into his stomach, settling heavy in his chest.

“Yixing,” He called out, his voice wavering. “I’m sorry,”

Kris reached out for Yixing, but the latter stepped forward, putting himself out of range. He did not turn around, did not even acknowledge the fact that Kris had called him, but Kris could see him tensing when he finally heard what Kris had said.

There was a long pause, before he finally said with a soft tone, his own voice broken with tremors.

“Sorry? Sorry is only an escape word, to save ourselves with,” Yixing trailed off, before he finally turned around to face Kris, and that armour was back on, steeling his both his gaze and voice. “Or so I remember you telling me,”

Kris was taken aback by his words. His heart fell, and all his strength seemed to vanish as he gazed into Yixing’s eyes, only to find that they were layered with glass, the thickest, most durable glass and he can’t see into it. He could not decipher anything else other than the hinted anger on the surface, nothing more.

“If you’ll excuse me, I need to sleep now,” Yixing said slowly as he pushed Kris gently outside by his shoulders. The touch itself was electrifying, as Kris felt as if he did not deserve to be under those fingertips.

When the door finally closed, Kris let out a heavy sigh and chuckled bitterly to himself.

Guess who’ll be sleeping cold tonight?

--

The next day, he woke up feeling horrible and obviously, cold. This was of course, due to the fact that he had no blankets since he hadn’t remembered to get them from his own apartment, and that Yixing was not in his bed. But aside from that, he also felt determination rise in him.

To get Yixing back. To get his heart back. To get his love back.

Somehow, he had dreamt of a smiling Yixing again, and it successfully cured him partially, if not fully.

With that in mind, he cleaned himself up quickly, before going downstairs to prepare some breakfast for Yixing. Hopefully, he’s still asleep. But of course, who was he kidding?

Yixing was already downstairs, moving his food around on his plate without really eating it, a plate of stacked pancakes next to him. His hair was untied, and he looked like that Yixing he had met months ago, instead of the Yixing he knows so well.

At the sound of his footsteps, Yixing looked up before looking down again, to his food.

Kris felt a surge of disappointment wound through him when Yixing did that, but he tried his best to keep it unnoticed.

“Morning,” He greeted, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.

“Morning,” was the curt reply he got. “Come here and eat.”

Kris awkwardly took the seat across from him, admiring the way he looked from up close. It was hard being away from him. Kris already found that he missed the other.

--

That evening, Kris brought a reluctant Yixing to the park. By the time they got there, Yixing was pouting.

“Why are we here?” Yixing asked, a bit annoyed. Kris laughed inwardly at his attempt to stay impassive, only to fail.

“Don’t you like parks?” He asked, looking at the brunette beside him.

“No,” He huffed and Kris laughed.

“Nonsense.” Kris grabbed his wrist and dragged him off for a stroll. “Nobody hates parks,”

With that, he ignored Yixing’s ‘I do’ and kept their fingers intertwined, sharing their warmth. Yixing tried to tug his hand back, but Kris pulled him back in, until Yixing gave up and walked with his hand in Kris’s.

“I miss you,” Kris said suddenly, and his hand tightened.

“Your fault,” Yixing grumbled, though the atmosphere didn’t shift. It felt better this way, to talk about these feelings without feeling like the world would cave in on him.

“I know,” He sighed, and continued on walking.

Their walk was typical. Yixing’s enthusiasm with colours was amusing. The way he would point at flowers and kids made Kris smile to himself, although the brunette did not smile even once.

It was weird, really, how Yixing could keep up such an expression without faltering. But finally, it did. When he saw the ice cream truck.

Kris ignored the urge to laugh. The almost smile on Yixing’s face was so obvious it was cute, but he could also see that Yixing was fond of ice creams.

“Do you want ice cream?” Kris offered, tugging him to the truck. The man selling the ice creams gave a weird look at their intertwined fingers before he finally smiled, showing a row of perfectly cared for teeth.

Yixing shook his head, but Kris could see that he wanted some, considering the fact that his eyes roamed the tubs like they’re made of gold. To be honest, he never knew Yixing had that side to him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Yixing looked up at him, and he could see just what he actually meant, but he settled on teasing him for a little while more.

“Suit yourself.” He said before ordering a cone of strawberry ice cream. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Yixing’s slight pout.

They sat at a bench not too far after that, agreeing to just watch the kids play instead of actually strolling around. Watching the kids made him happy, and at that time, he pictured Yixing as a father, holding his own kid.

If that accident hadn’t taken place, Yixing would’ve been happy, and he would’ve been a father right now.

But Kris would not be there, would not be able to pick up the pieces. He would not be exposed to the many sides of Yixing, and he would not be the one Yixing trusts his life with.

He felt really angry at himself at that time, for breaking that trust. And he really did not want to think of it again. So instead, he turned to Yixing who sat beside him and moved closer, until their shoulders are touching.

“You can have it,” Kris offered the cone to Yixing, half expecting him to turn the offer down. But the brunette took it from him albeit shyly, and he lowered his gaze. Kris s an arm around his shoulder, resting it on the back of the chair as he watched Yixing eat the ice cream.

The way he ate it was almost sensual, and Kris instantly regretted giving him that ice cream. Ideas filled his head, of the other things Yixing could do it to, and he found himself blushing.

Yixing noticed, and he turned to look at Kris. “Do you want some?”

Of you? Yes please.

“No thanks,” Then he leaned in to place a kiss on his lips, but Yixing pulled away, before placing the ice cream against Kris’s lips.

“If you wanted it, you could have just asked,” Yixing said, letting the coolness of the ice cream seep into Kris’s mouth before pulling it back, allowing Kris to his lips.

Kris stared at him for a while, entranced by the way the lights danced in his eyes before answering.

“Can I have a kiss then?” He asked, hopefully. His heart broke when Yixing simply turned away, that cold tone resurfacing.

“No.”

That night, Kris slept in his own bed again. Cold and lonely.

--

The next day, Kris brought him out to the beach in the morning, with hopes that he would remember their almost-kiss, and that it would change the expression on his face. However, he remained impassive as he looked out to the sea, with the wind flowing softly against him. Kris could see that he was still wearing the dragon pendant, and it was enough to let him remain hopeful.

“I hate this place,” Yixing announced suddenly, startling Kris. “Brings forth things I’d rather forget,”

The words hurt badly. Like a spear striking through his heart, only to pull back and sear the ragged edges. His vision turned blurry, so he turned away from Yixing, pretending to look at the clouds above. He would not cry, not in front of Yixing.

“I love this place,” His voice wavered, so he cleared his throat before speaking again, this time looking at the part where the ocean meets the skies. “Makes me remember your smile,”

“You better don’t forget then, because that’s the last one you’ll see,” Yixing said casually, his words stinging.

“No,” Kris blinked back his tears, clearing his vision before turning to Yixing. “You have to smile again, Yixing,”

A moment passed, the soft sounds of the wind and waves filling the space before Yixing looked up at him.

“I have no reason to,” He said softly, a glimpse of sadness apparent in his eyes before he turned and walked away, to the direction of the house.

“Yixing I said I’m sorry!” He called out after the brunette, watching him ignore his words and walk on. Kris wanted to break down, but he wouldn’t.

He would never show Yixing how weak he actually was.

--

“When are you going to make up?” Baekhyun asked, leaning over the counter with his glare on. Chanyeol stood awkwardly beside him, unsure of whose side he’s on. Kris grumbled as he sipped his tea, the calming draught having no effect on his impatience towards Baekhyun.

“I don’t know,” He said honestly, looking into the bottom of his cup.

“I already gave you one day, which stretched on to three, and you still haven’t made up?”

“No,” Kris was really in no mood for this, not when all he wanted was Yixing and the only thing he got was a pestering monkey and his bodyguard.

“Look, I told you that if you’re not serious about this, you should just leave damn it! And-“

“I know!” Kris shouted, finally snapping. Baekhyun was caught mid-sentence, eyes widening as he tried to take in the fact that Kris had just shouted at him. Kris held his glare, feeling his blood boil when Chanyeol stepped over and shielded Baekhyun.

“What the hell man?” Chanyeol looked him over. “You didn’t have to shout!”

“And he didn’t have to be so ing annoying,” He said through gritted teeth, motioning to Baekhyun and Chanyeol shook his head.

“Whatever. Just don’t bother talking to me until you got that anger under control,” Chanyeol said before pulling the stricken Baekhyun over to the door.

Great.

Now Chanyeol’s against him too.

--

Surrounded by brushes and tubes of paint, Kris honestly didn’t know what he was doing. His hands were dirty. And spots of paint had landed on his jeans, dirtying them. He was sure that the stain could not be removed, but he couldn’t care less.

Because in front of him, was a painting, which he had done on his own. It was undoubtedly a thousand times uglier than Yixing’s, but at least it was easy to understand. A hue of blue for the waters, a light brown for the sand, an ugly blend of orange and yellow for the sun made up the background. In the middle, two stick figures drawn with black paint splashing water everywhere.

It told a story, and Kris was sure Yixing would understand.

On the top left corner, Kris had painted a small red heart, small enough just to be distinguishable, but not big enough to cause him more embarrassment. It had taken every ounce of pride he still had to draw that little heart, but it made Kris smile.

Kris looked out the window, finally noticing that the moon was already glowing very brightly. Yixing would go to sleep soon.

Taking the painting in his hands now that it’s already dry, Kris hopped over to Yixing’s room before knocking on the door. He waited patiently for Yixing to appear, as he was very sure that this would at least earn him a smile. There was no time for regrets because the door opened almost too quickly and Yixing looked at him.

“Yes?”

“I made this for you,” He said with a blush, handing over the masterpiece. He tried to suppress a smile as Yixing looked at the painting, waiting for a reaction. A smile, a laugh, a blush.

But there was none.

“You used my paint?” Yixing asked instead, and disappointment flooded in. Kris could feel his throat constricting, his chest becoming heavy when not even a sign of appreciation flitted across his face.

“I- don’t have any,”

Then Yixing nodded and shut the door.

No smile, no laugh, no blush. No thanks, no goodnight, let alone ‘I love you’s.

Kris felt his heart break as he turned away from the door, and this time, he didn’t fight the tears that welled up in his eyes. With a heavy heart, he trudged downstairs, finding solace in the soft cushions of the couch downstairs. He felt the need to distance himself from Yixing, for he was sure that his resolve was crumbling to bits.

The floor was cold when he sat on it, resting his head against the couch as he closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. By then, he was already so used to the coldness that he couldn’t bring himself to care.

With trembling fingers, he fished for his phone, looking at the screen absently before scrolling through the contacts, all the while trying to stop the shivers that ran down his spine. At last, he stopped on the name that he was sure could faithfully stand by him, even when the world was against him.

Mom.

The clock on his phone said 12AM, which meant that his mother was sleeping, but at that time, he really felt alone, and he pressed the dial button. The dial tone added to his misery, making him think that his call would go unanswered, but then there was a rustling sound on the other end.

“Wufan?”

His mother’s voice at the other end was heavy with sleep, and its soft, comforting melodies was all it took to break his composure. Wufan. That’s right. That’s who he is now. Wufan, not Kris. Not the dragon. He’s just human now, a fragile, stupid human that had made mistakes and now his heart was suffering from it.

“Mom,” He let his first tears escape. “Mom.”

“Wufan?” His mother sounded worried. “Wufan what happened?”

“I can’t do it.”

He sobbed into the phone, barely caring that he sounded more like a five-year-old kid than a grown up man, but this loneliness was all he could take. He needed Yixing back, he needed warmth back into his life, he needed love.

“I can’t have him,”

--

“Kris?”

Kris opened his eyes. Yixing.

“Yixing,” And he nodded. Kris could feel his fingertips tracing the side of his face, weaving warmth with every touch, comforting him.

“Let’s go upstairs,” Yixing’s voice was soft, trembling. Kris’s vision blurred, and he felt a sob wreck his body.

“Yixing,” He called. “Yixing.”

“I’m here, I’m here,” Yixing’s voice broke as he wound his fingers through Kris’s hair. “Please don’t cry,”

“I’m sorry,” Kris couldn’t see Yixing. Only blurred outlines made it to his brain. His tears did not stop flowing, and the pain in his heart did not stop hurting. “I’m sorry,”

It was a plead, and Kris didn’t know what he was pleading for. Forgiveness? His love? Or Yixing himself? Could it possibly be all?

His heart ached as he called Yixing’s name again, before the other’s lips to his silenced him.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Yixing whispered, and Kris barely heard his own cries. “I’m here,”

--

A/N: Because everyone needs to hear Kris crying to his mother once in your life. Hehe. So don’t kill me now, darlings :D And you know what, I suddenly had an idea of getting Kris to drive of a cliff with Yixing in the next chapter lol. Death as an ending kurkurkur So okay lol tell me what you think ^^ and don’t hesitate to point out a mistake. :D

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