02
Tick Tock[Hea Jung’s POV]
It was afternoon when I woke up to the thin rays that punctured through the thick foliage. Gathered in front of me was an array of food collected from the surroundings –nuts, berries, strange looking fruits and whatnot. I’ll have to get used to this measly fare since there’s little possibility of us returning home anytime soon. Not that I’d ever had grand meals to begin with anyway. Speaking of us…
“Ji Yong?”
He appeared from behind a tree, holding what looked like a flower chain made from colourful petals and twisted green vines. It felt almost weightless upon my head as I reached up to caress the soft material. I was gentle with my touch and yet, when I brought my hand down, one of the petals was lying in it, withering instantly.
“It broke.”
“It’s okay Hea Jung, there’s still lots more. I’ll make another one for you if you like.”
“It’s dead.”
Ji Yong picked up the petal from my trembling grasp and placed it lightly on the ground. He cupped my face between his hands and searched my eyes, trying to figure out what was on my mind. He didn’t even have to try. To him, my face was an open book. He could always decipher something from what appeared to be nothing at all.
“Look,” he whispered. I watched as the petal seemed to regain some of its colours, hovering between shades of baby pink, red, and magenta. Then, as quickly as they came, the colours were gone. I blinked twice, wondering where they were.
“Pretty moments don’t last forever, Hea Jung. They come and go like the wind, like the colours in autumn, like rainbows. Imagine being unable to see. Would you rather have memories of how you once saw the world, or remain blind forever with only the darkness as your company? Memories don’t stay forever, but even if they’re gone, you still have dreams to rely on. Beautiful, beautiful dreams that bring you back to how it once was.”
I don’t want to go back, Ji Yong. I want to stay here with you, just the two of us. I’m fine with this, really. It’s okay, I don’t mind being out here in this place. It’s okay if I’m scared or cold. It’s okay as long as you’re with me.
“Hea Jung, do you hear me? I’m not asking you to forget. I’m asking you to forgive and let go.” It’s not that easy Ji Yong, it’s really not. I’m sorry I can’t tell you what happened. Maybe if I could, you’ll understand better. But I can’t Ji Yong. I myself don’t know what’s going on anymore. All I know is you’re here, and that means everything’s alright.
It soon became a cycle. Hiding, waiting, and waking. Ji Yong was everything she needed and everything she wanted. He took care of all her needs. Whenever she woke up from that sleep of hers, there would always be food piled up for her ready for her to consume. He brought her to the river everyday to clean up her wounds –those that she got everytime she woke up. Unexplainable scratches and scars which she couldn’t understand, and didn’t want to understand. Most of the time, she sat there quietly, looking at Ji Yong as he talked to her about things she couldn’t care less about. It didn’t matter. All she wanted was to hear his voice and see his face. They always say don’t judge a book by its cover, it’s the content that matters the most. Not to Hea Jung. She was perfectly fine with seeing things on their surface value and leaving the inside to its own devices. After all, you can never truly know if what you see is real, if the one in front of you is lying to you or spinning fairytales so obvious to others and yet invisible to your eyes. If you search further, there’s no coming out from that addictive pit, the only route leads deeper, and deeper.
“Hea Jung, have you ever wondered about what actually happened that night?”
She stiffened visibly. Why was he bringing that up again? Didn’t he know how much it hurt her to remember those scenes? The tremendous splitting migraine it always gave her? The shivering and whimpering that invaded her sleep?
“Do you…really not remember?”
She scraped the ground with her fingertips, feeling the grime and dirt coat her hands. A series of painful spasms shook her body as she lapsed into a trance again. This time, she was aware of words coming out from uncontrollably. She wanted to come out from that involuntary cocoon enveloping her, the threads so tightly woven together that not even a speck of light could reach her. When she had finally stopped struggling, the prison was pierced open and she tumbled out into his embrace.
He her hair softly and rubbed soothing circles into her back, whispering lyrics from her favourite lullabies into her ear. Her breathing evened out and she slumped against his body, taking in his sweet scent in deep breaths –her irreplaceable drug and sleeping pill.
“Sleep tight, Hea Jung. It’s okay, I think I’ve almost got it figured out.”
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