Title: Changes I've Done For You
Author: HanneyYuri
Reviewer: 4everprocrastinating

Title: 5/5
The title matched very well into what Jinyoung was doing for Jieun, so that was fantastic.

Story Description: 10/15
Bolding. Please don’t do that. It was a bit of a turn of in your description. I know people do it to emphasis things, but there is no need to bold words when we can read them. Also, the 2nd and 3rd sentence in the description can be joined. That’s just a side note. The description is a bit wordy and somewhat awkwardly phrased at some points, so you may want to condense some of the sentences. 
Also, you kind of gave away the personalities too much for my taste, but lots of readers would love the way you talked about them, so it’s fine.
The foreword, however, was much more eye catching to me and made me want to actually read the story. The description was just sort of baggage for me. It didn’t do much for the story.


Storyline and Originality: 15/20
I thought it was shocking how Jinyoung and Ji-eun hadn’t had yet, even though they were together for 3 years! You’d think they had done it haha.
If we’re talking on originality terms here, the fact that Ji-eun’s parents both died when she was younger and that “she worked hard for Jinyoung” and herself was cliché. It’s a known AFF cliché, so it’s better to not do it for those reasons. And the other fact that it was an unreasonable explanation was not a good scape goat haha. And then, of course, Jinyoung’s parents were also dead. However, people love that cliché, so it’s all good haha.

Flow of the Story: 8/10
At some times, I got a bit bored. I felt like some things were uncessary, but nothing was randomly put in? Hm, while the story flowed, I started getting tired of reading it in the last 10 or so chapters. I guess I thought that some of the stuff was just brought in strangely is all. But it was fine.

Grammar and Layout: 11/15
Sometimes you changed from past to present tense in your sentences and it was a bit noticeable. Also, specifically in the first chapter, there were a few times when the characters spoke in their heads, but you put quotes around their words, so I kept thinking they were talking out loud, which distracted me.
If much else, you’d forget to put a comma after a lot of dialogue in your chapters or a period after a sentence, most notable in chapter 2 for me.
There was also one error that bothered me (in chapter 2), “Gongchan asked stupidly, still –on hang over-
This should be changed to ‘still hung over.’ 

Characters: 14/15
I liked Jinyoung’s character, but I also disliked him, which is a good thing. He was sort of a bad dude at the beginning, so it’s great that I disliked him! I didn’t really like Jieun however, just because she didn’t yell at Jinyoung for a long time! I, for some reason, really liked Sandeul’s character a lot.
The only bad thing was that I felt like there were a lot of characters at times.

Overall Enjoyment and Extras: 17/20
I wanted to say this in the description area, but this is not a “you” story. Don’t feel bad, I also used to do this when I first came to this site. I would always say the main character was “you,” but then I would give the character it’s own name, personality, thoughts, feelings, appearance. That’s not really “you,” is it? No, it is actually an OC. So, I just wanted to mention this, since I always used to do it too.
When writing , please never use words like, danced in harmony, dominance, or war. This isn’t a battle; it’s a scene…
But you didn’t say that much later, so good! But those M labels are false advertising a bit hehe.

Total: 80/100

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