My First Love ( 4 versions of one story)

Description

Jae Joong and his first love

( FOUR VERSIONS ARE POSTED,  the 2nd, 3rd and 4th are revisions) My first time to write without any dialog.

Thought of writing another version of this lol, so this will be like a writing in progress lol revisions will be made for one story lol  (I'm being so random again, the idea just hit me Mar. 24, 2011 12:57pm PHilS.)  My way of learning a better way of writing, I guess lol

Please, read it  and help me, and tell me what you think.  I'm a new writer, I had only been writing since last year. In this way, I can improve my writing skills. THANK YOU!!

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kpopartory #1
Hello! @fallenangel! Thank you so much for the comment! Thank you for reading it! I truly appreciate it. *smile*<br />
hahahhaah *smile* "maybe after reading this story for the 4th time it has some side effect" hahahahah *smile*<br />
I think, if I am not mistaken, no one has done this here in AFF but me hahahahahah<br />
I do love to use his name all the time, love to have it in every paragraph hahahhahahaa wish I can have it in every sentence haahaahah<br />
you are the third person to say, the 2nd version is good *smile* but I feel the same way, too hahahahaaha *smile*<br />
simplicity seems to work better for me, than having a lot of descriptions in it <br />
<br />
Again, thank you for reading my story. I whole heartedly thank you.
fallenangel #2
I have to say you improved in the area "I cannot use >Jaejoong< all the time" XD after reading all the versions. But I think vers. 2 is somehow the best one I don't have a certain reason but maybe after reading this story for the 4th time it has some side effect to it XD <br />
kpopartory #3
Hello! @MusicChibi! <br />
Thank you for the comment, I'll work on those things you pointed out. I don't know about a beta writer, I don't know anyone lol<br />
<br />
Hello! @madz67!<br />
Thank you for the comment! hahahaha a one story, one shot, that became a series lol and see the difference from the conception, to each revisions lol *smile* I'm learning, and I am happy about it! <br />
Thank you, for always reading my stories, I appreciate it!
madz67 #4
Hmm.. looks like ur extending this to a one-shot collection~! LOL~!<br />
<br />
GREAT JOB~!
kpopartory #5
Hello! @MusicChibi! Thank you so much for reading my fan fic. I really appreciate it. Thank you for commenting, I'll try to focus on those things you pointed out. I don't have a beta writer. That is why, I don't know if I continue to make the same mistakes or if I have improved at all. <br />
Again, THANK YOU!
kpopartory #6
Hello! @madz67! Thank you for reading it again, I appreciate it a lot! Me too lol I like the second version, too. lol
madz67 #7
Awww.... I like both of the versions...<br />
<br />
For some reasons... I found the 2nd version better~!<br />
<br />
<33333~! NICE WORK, BTW~!
kpopartory #8
Hello! @danie! @andi!<br />
Thank you for reading it! I whole heartedly appreciate it!
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