My First Love

My First Love ( 4 versions of one story)

 

Jae Joong was walking on the small road fit only for a car to drive through. He was gazing at the houses on both lanes, his head was slowly turning left and then right as he walked. There were low walls on both sides and the houses were all single, ditached old houses. There were small trees in some of the frontyard of the houses and there were some that had flowers and bushes in front of the walls.

And  then, as he was walking, came in front of him two young teenagers laughing, both  were facing each other wearing wide grin on their faces. He can't help but gaze at them and followed them with his eyes.  The two teenagers were fooling around as they walked, the girl hit the boy on the arm.  They walked passed him. Jae Joong half turned to follow them with his eyes even as they  walked further away from him. Jae Joong with a sigh turned back around and continued to walk and continued gazing at the houses. 

Around the bend, Jae Joong found a park, and he found the two young teenagers there chasing each other. There were benches, and  also a seesow, a slide and swings for children, and an area to do some exercises. Jae Joong smiled fondly to himself, remembering how he was in the past with his first love. They were just like them. Jae Joong saw himself as he was with her, she was so young and touched him in the arm.  And, then he saw himself, when he was a young teenager.

Jae Joong was the one chasing a girl, laughing out loud. She was running away from him, laughing out loud. She stopped running, she was bent over hands on her knees trying to catch her breath. Laughing, Jae Joong came closer and patted her on the back,  smiling he bent a little to look at her face, to see if she was doing alright. She straightened up half smiling at him, but still was trying to catch her breath.  Jae Joong continued to pat her back and gazed at her.

Jae Joong held her hand and started walking pulling her behind him. She followed him and lightly held his arm with her other hand. Jae Joong looked back  at her for a second and then, turned his head  forward again and continued to walk. They walked like that for a while, even when she caught her breath and was breathing evenly. No one was around to catch them holding hands.

Jae Joong saw the boy caught the girl and hugged her from the back, his arms were going around her waist and her hands went on top of his arms.  Both were laughing merrily, and half spanned around when they naturally followed the motion of their body.

Jae Joong remembered her face, when he was doing that very thing with her, was seeing her laughing flawless pinkish face and  her naturally rosy lips smiling at him with the smile reaching her eyes. He remembered the joy of having her in his arms, the warmth of her in his embrace. And, Jae Joong remembered unconsciously bending down and kissing those rosy cheeks. And she shyly turned her head away, but still smiling. He remembered smiling, seeing that smile from her lips.

Jae Joong saw the boy pulled the girl to a swing, held her by the shoulder and pushed her down on one of the seat, and then, sat down beside her on the other seat.  Jae Joong remembered, she was sitting on one of the seat of the swing but he was behind her pushing her, and she was giggling because she was going higher and higher.

Then, Jae Joong remembered being by the riverbank, walking with her. They saw a tiny green frog on the side of the bank covered by a leaf and they both bend down and looked but both of them did not wish to touch it.  Jae Joong looked at her and tried to guess what she wanted, and she looked at him with half a smile on her lips. Then, they both laughed.  He outstretched his hand to her and she placed her hand in his. Smiling, both of them walked further along the riverbank.

Jae Joong saw the boy stood up, faced the girl and  then held her by the hand and pulled her from the seat, she followed his motion and allowed herself to be pulled. He turned and faced towards the street, with his hand in hers, they started to walk with her behind him. 

She turned and smiled at Jae Joong. And gave that sweet smile she often gave to him.

 

Writer's Note: March, 22, 2011

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kpopartory
#1
Hello! @fallenangel! Thank you so much for the comment! Thank you for reading it! I truly appreciate it. *smile*<br />
hahahhaah *smile* "maybe after reading this story for the 4th time it has some side effect" hahahahah *smile*<br />
I think, if I am not mistaken, no one has done this here in AFF but me hahahahahah<br />
I do love to use his name all the time, love to have it in every paragraph hahahhahahaa wish I can have it in every sentence haahaahah<br />
you are the third person to say, the 2nd version is good *smile* but I feel the same way, too hahahahaaha *smile*<br />
simplicity seems to work better for me, than having a lot of descriptions in it <br />
<br />
Again, thank you for reading my story. I whole heartedly thank you.
fallenangel #2
I have to say you improved in the area "I cannot use >Jaejoong< all the time" XD after reading all the versions. But I think vers. 2 is somehow the best one I don't have a certain reason but maybe after reading this story for the 4th time it has some side effect to it XD <br />
kpopartory
#3
Hello! @MusicChibi! <br />
Thank you for the comment, I'll work on those things you pointed out. I don't know about a beta writer, I don't know anyone lol<br />
<br />
Hello! @madz67!<br />
Thank you for the comment! hahahaha a one story, one shot, that became a series lol and see the difference from the conception, to each revisions lol *smile* I'm learning, and I am happy about it! <br />
Thank you, for always reading my stories, I appreciate it!
madz67
#4
Hmm.. looks like ur extending this to a one-shot collection~! LOL~!<br />
<br />
GREAT JOB~!
kpopartory
#5
Hello! @MusicChibi! Thank you so much for reading my fan fic. I really appreciate it. Thank you for commenting, I'll try to focus on those things you pointed out. I don't have a beta writer. That is why, I don't know if I continue to make the same mistakes or if I have improved at all. <br />
Again, THANK YOU!
kpopartory
#6
Hello! @madz67! Thank you for reading it again, I appreciate it a lot! Me too lol I like the second version, too. lol
madz67
#7
Awww.... I like both of the versions...<br />
<br />
For some reasons... I found the 2nd version better~!<br />
<br />
<33333~! NICE WORK, BTW~!
kpopartory
#8
Hello! @danie! @andi!<br />
Thank you for reading it! I whole heartedly appreciate it!