Chapter 8 - Bridezilla Jian Di

Yi Jeong pounded the enormous pile of clay into submission. These days, nothing felt better than physical exercise. He could lose himself in the work, finding new ways to push himself. The more he imbued the physicality into his work, the more alive he felt. It was certainly different at night when he would lie alone, sleepless, replaying Ga Eul's words like a broken record.

Maybe it was true that he didn't know her anymore. He was operating on old information. And maybe there was something to this Anders person that allowed Ga Eul to feel safe the way she never did with him. He made her insane, he could hear it between her carefully chosen words. When they came together, it was bright and fiery; but something that burned like supernova couldn't, wouldn't sustain warmth for humans. His laugh sounded acrid. He was so good with his hands when it came to art-when it came to clay. When it came to Ga Eul; his hands, his mouth, his body wanted nothing more than to possess her the way it did the piece of clay in his hand. He wanted selfishly wanted her like nothing else, the way he imagined her, the way he felt she was promised. But in light of the last few weeks, Yi Jeong found Ga Eul brittle, unyielding, and unwilling to bend to his will. She was a bad piece of clay. Maybe she was full of air and it was better now that everything was in shards so that he could start over again.

He slammed down the ball of clay and watched it flatten against the table. It was still the same clay, no matter how many forms it took. Whether it was fired to a thousand degrees or covered in semi precious stone, it was still dirt, earth, matter. He thought about himself. Wasn't he the same-just a piece of dirt, prettied up with So family blood lines and artistic talent? He wasn't that different from commoners, and wasn't the saying, common as dirt?

"So Yi Jeong!" Geum Jan Di banged on the door from the outside.

Speaking of commoners, Yi Jeong thought as he opened the door.

"Anyohaseyo, sunbae." Jan Di actually looked a little scary leaning at the door frame of his studio. His best friend's fiancée was the one that broke through the F4 layer of isolationist noblesse oblige. She beat each of them into submission, into admiring her spirit, and mostly fearing her spinning kick of injustice. Jian Di was a force of nature when it came to love and loyalty, she was far better than Jun Pyo deserved. She crossed her arms and stalked in. He didn't remember ever seeing Jan Di in his studio, it was a little jarring.

She slammed the door shut and plopped down at his workbench. Slowly she folded her hands and rested her chin on them; she studied him with narrowed eyes.

Yi Jeong was puzzled by her scrutiny. All this posturing, what was it for?

"So Yi Jeong, you are still coming to my wedding aren't you?" She finally spat out. "Because Jun Pyo hasn't heard from you for weeks and he's too busy running Shinhwa to make sure that his best friend comes personally."

"Jan Di, when have I ever missed a good party?" He spread his arms nonchalantly and threw in a devastating smirk for good measure.

"Yi Jeong-shi," He felt the full force of the Jan Di initiative; so rarely in the past had he been part of her crusade. He felt uneasy. "Do you think you can fool anyone with that song and dance routine?" She crossed her arms and sniffed. "You don't go out anymore."

"Jan Di, believe it or not, even playboys need a break."

"You dress like someone who shops in the Dongdaemun district." She looked over his white t-shirt and dark Levis. Definitely more like a Korean James Dean than the dandy F4 she knew in high school. Rebel with a billion won inheritance.

He shrugged. "I'm trying out this new look."

"You don't hang out with Woo Bin."

"Woo Bin is too busy chasing girls to pay attention me."

"Of course, Jun Pyo and Ji Hoo are off in their own worlds-" She frowned at him. "What happened with Ga Eul?"

"Nothing." He grabbed another piece of clay and began working it in his hands.

"That's what Ga Eul said. But Yi Jeong," Jan Di's voice suddenly got quieter, "I want what's best for both of my friends. But, you have to see that Ga Eul's never been happier before. She and Anders might not be the most exciting couple in the world. Lord knows that no one has as many kidnappings, love triangles, and amnesia problems as Jun Pyo and I do." Jan Di rolled her eyes.

"You guys should fire the writers of your romantic comedy." Yi Jeong winked at her.

"It was terrible sunbae! I mean, I can laugh about it now, but those years were horrible. Just feeling crazy, never knowing how Jun Pyo really felt, and the waiting," Jan Di suddenly trailed off. "You can't eat feelings, Yi Jeong-shi. And those three years that Ga Eul waited for you, that's what she did."

Yi Jeong stopped the motion in his hands. .

"You know about her work right? Ga Eul always tries to find the good in people and now she has a way to really make a change, for the kids that need her. She couldn't just live on those feelings anymore Yi Jeong. She needed something real."

Yi Jeong thought about their conversation, about her brilliant smile when she thought of those kids in Eunpyung getting their computers. He felt a pang. To him, that auction was nothing but a way to get closer to Ga Eul. For her, it was the fulfillment for the dream of others. How far they had come, yet how far they had drifted. He was rudderless and she sailed towards some foreign land to which he had no map.

"The thing is, I want that for you too." Jan Di was saying. "You're the most talented person I know, but I don't know if you are doing what makes you happy or if it's because it's always been expected of you." She smiled wryly. "As a future F4 wife, I should know what all that lions of Korea, chaebol crap smells like. You're a chaebol, but you're still a man, Yi Jeong-shi. What do you want?"

"I thought I wanted Ga Eul." He stated simply.

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