Nothing changed at first when she arrived.

We continued to be the perfect couple. And Siwon was the perfect boyfriend. Attentive, loving, he took me on dates, always answered my calls, and did everything he could. He was perfect inside and out.

I didn’t deserve him. I knew this.

He deserved someone sweet and kind and happy and genuine. Not a broken girl who was good at acting.

I thought about breaking up with him for his own good. But that heartbroken look that would undoubtedly appear on his… I wouldn’t be able to bear it. I couldn’t even imagine it.

I didn’t neglect him or cheat on him or anything else obviously bad. I just couldn’t open up to him. I couldn’t bring myself to love him.

The thing is, I don’t think he could bring himself to love me either.

He wasn’t completely unscathed from his own isolated upbringing. It was just that his childhood wasn’t as extreme. He could still laugh and have friends and feel and not feel like there was a hole in his chest where a heart should be.

Jessica was quiet.

But she was sweet.

Kind.

Open and friendly, but she had been quickly beaten down by round after round, year after year of ignorant bullies.

Siwon and I were both drawn to her like moths to open flames.