I can’t love you…

 

Lu Han’s POV:

 

                I walked away… I walked away from the source of pain I felt deep within me. I cursed myself from being this frail when I should be in my strongest. But why is it that the pain still lingers inside? Even though I walked away, why is it still here? This is too hard to heal… an open wound that was opened again by the shards of memories that kept hurting me. I must prevail for I am a man myself… why can’t I?

 

                “Lu—oh dear, what happened?!” mom said

 

                “The make-up, smudged… sorry for not removing it dear, come on. The dress too, what happened?” aunt asked

 

                “N-nothing happened! I felt h-hot so I kind of loosened it” I faked a smile so they won’t notice how much I’ve been hurting inside “its okay aunt, I’ll just take a shower and laundry the dress. It got dirty”

 

                “O-ok, take care dear” mom and aunt waved me goodbye as I continued my way on the corridor.

 

                There, I spotted Yu and Kevin who were talking a bit serious? It’s weird, these two are the silliest kids in the family and they always joke around, I really believe they have the same brains, they could be twins too if it’s possible. But, seriously… this is the very first time I’ve seen these two kids talk “normal”. Like adults… seems like Yu’s explaining something and Kevin listens diligently. I wonder what it is?

 

 

Kevin’s POV:

 

                “And that’s how it is” Yu said

 

                “Okay, mom just called. Big trouble”

 

                “Eh? What did aunt say?”

 

                “It seems like something went wrong. Mom said when Lu hyung came back, he looked like… mess. Then went ahead saying he’ll just take a shower then sleep. After that, brother came back panting heavily like he was chasing someone. They had a hunch that something must have happened between the two of them” I explained

 

                “Oh dear… what do we do now?”

 

                “We gotta do something or else Lu hyung might just… break…”

 

                I felt sadness within me thinking about hyung who had to suffer because of this stupid make-up plan. I had enough of this; I can’t bear to see two of my most important persons suffer. They felt like they’re losing one another even though it’s just for a show. Hyung can’t take this much.

 

                “We should tell him”

 

                “What?”

 

                “Tell him the truth, Yu. We should tell your brother about it, I don’t think he can take this much” I said

 

                “But how are supposed to do that? Can we tell him yet?”

 

                “Then when do you plan on telling him? Brother’s birthday will be in two days from now; we can’t let things be like this. We’re still young but we need to meddle this time. We’re hurting the ones we love.”

 

                “Okay, I got it, Kevin-nii. I’ll help you” she said while doing thumbs up sign

 

                “Thanks sis, so when are we gonna tell him everything?”

 

                “It should be as soon as possible. Ne, we’re on “twin-mode” now, huh? I’m having fun with this, bro”

 

                “Of course, we have the same brains don’t we?” then we laughed again.

 

When we we’re young, we’re often called as ‘silly siblings’ by our parents and relatives even though we’re cousins because we’re so much alike and even until now that we’re teenagers, we’re still childish when we’re together that’s why we had “twin mode”. It brings back good memories remembering our childhood, like when brother teases Lu hyung and they play hide and seek while Yu and I do pranks on them… I wish we’re always like that but things change along with time, we grew up. And their relationship became complicated. I wanted us to be happy like before, I wanted them to be happy.

 

“Bro, what are you thinking?”

 

“I just remembered our past. I just want them to be happy again”

 

“We’ll help you” a voice from behind said

 

“Mother, Aunt Luna…”

 

“Well, I need to apologize to them, especially Xiao Lu. I had fun but he suffered so I better repay him. Just help me patch things up with them” mom said

 

“Yes, we will”

 

Then we made a plan (but this is a good one, no harm done) to help brother and hyung make-up.

 

 

Lu Han’s Room

 

Lu Han’s POV:

 

                Even after I took a shower, my head didn’t feel lighter. I checked my wall clock to see what time it is and it says 11:32. Nobody’s around at this time except for the guards now. Everybody in this household is usually asleep at 10 so I’m safe to go around this time. I want to drink; I just wanted to get drunk, even just for now. I want to forget everything just for a day, to forget the pain. You need to move on, Lu Han…

 

                I opened the door and unexpectedly bumped onto something, actually, a human being crouching on my doorway. And I recognize who this person is; it’s no other than the Crown Prince himself, Kris. I remember he always does this whenever we had a fight and wanted to talk to me but he knows he can’t so he waits for me to open it and while he waits, he falls asleep. Even now he still does and the only thing I need to do is to wake him up and we’re okay again. But will it work this time? Now that I’ve loved him so much, are we still going to be okay?

 

                “Kris?”

 

                “…”

 

                “Kris, wake up” I shook him

 

                “Hmm”

 

                “Kris?”

 

                “Hmm…? Is that you, Lu Han?” he rubbed is eyes

 

                “Y-yes…” I smiled, an awkward one at that

 

                “Why are you going out?” he asked

 

                “I want to drink, why are you still here? Since when have you been here?”

 

                “Umm… when you took a shower?”

 

                “Eh? B-but that was like 3 hours ago! You mean you’ve been here in 3 hours already?” he really waited for me to go out even though it took so long?

 

                “Yes, I wanted to clear things out” he explained

 

                “Get up, you’ll catch a cold. Why don’t you just join me in a drink while ‘clearing things out’?” I suggested, I really don’t feel like fighting right now. I just want to spend my last days with him before I go back to Japan…

 

                “Okay…”

 

 

Kitchen

 

Kris POV:

 

                He really seems down, I can’t bear to see him like this… to see him suffer. I must tell him the truth or else I’ll lose him. I’ll die if that happens, I can’t live without him.

 

                “Lu Han, I have to tell you something”

 

                “Hmm… why don’t you tell me later? I’ll prepare the drinks first?” he smiled, again with that fake smile

 

                He’s pushing himself too hard so that we won’t notice how much I pain is he, but I do see it. We’ve been together since birth and he can’t hide something from me… he never does even if he tries.

 

                “No, sit here. I want you to listen very carefully” I hold his arm tight enough for him not to run away because he might, he has ran away from me many times this day and I’m not letting him do that again this time

 

                “Fine, what is it?” well, he obediently sat to my surprise

 

                “You know… it’s about the wedding”

 

                “So? What about it?”

 

                “There’s quite a misunderstanding that’s happening”

 

                “Why do I have to care? I’m not the one getting married so it’s not my business” huh? Why is he acting cold right now?

 

                “That’s why I’m clearing things out with you. It’s a misunderstanding…” I tried explaining but he cut me off

 

                “I said I don’t care! Got it? If you think I’m a hindrance to your wedding just because “we like each other”, don’t worry Kris, I’ll just disappear” he snapped

 

                “What? Lu Han, what are you talking about?!”

 

                “I know you’re trying to sweet talk me to end our ties with peaceful minds and hearts, no guilt, no conscience! I’m ending this, happy now?”

 

                Then tears suddenly fell from his eyes, he’s crying. I am so stupid for not even realizing how much I have hurt him! I wanted to share his pain for I am at fault too… I’m sorry Lu Han

 

                “I’m Sorry Lu Han… I’m sorry” I place my hand on his and squeezed it

 

                “No, it’s my fault for loving you even though I knew it’s wrong” he continuously cried, I couldn’t take it so I stood up and pulled him into a tight hug

 

                “Kris! Stop, they might see us!” he tried to push me away but I didn’t budge

 

                “Will you just listen to me without saying anything?! I told you, didn’t I? I want to clear this misunderstanding with you!” then he stopped crying and nodded his head, we sat again to make ourselves at ease

 

                “I’m not marrying Yu”

 

                “What?” he looked up and met my eyes

 

                “I said I’m not going to marry your sister” I cleared my throat

 

                “W-what did you say?! Wu Fan, the wedding is in two days and you’re going to cancel it? I told you I’ll disappear so you can have a peaceful wedding---“

 

                “I told you not to say anything while I’m talking Lu Han! The marriage won’t be cancelled; it’s just that Yu isn’t the person I’m going to marry. And I know you plan to go to Japan on the day of the wedding” I explained

 

                “B-“

 

                “Don’t say anything!”

 

                “My bride isn’t your sister but you, Lu Han. Now you can say something…”

 

 

Lu Han’s POV:

 

                What did he just say? Did I mishear it? Or I’m just simply dreaming? Maybe I’m already drunk…

 

                “P-pardon?” I’m so afraid to ask him but anyway, I already did

 

                “I said you’re the person I’m marrying, not your sister”

 

                “M-me? B-but how?! Don’t joke with me Kris! It’s not funny!” it’s really not funny to joke these kinds of things

 

                “It’s your sister who told me, I was surprised at first too but I did research in the Royal Library and it proved what she had told me…”

 

                He explained everything to me but I find it hard to believe at first but with his little persuasion, I finally did… I guess? It’s still so hard to believe it though

 

                “I know you’re still processing it into your mind but it’s the truth”

 

                “So… we’re the betrothed ones?”

 

                “Yes, that’s right” he assured me with a smile

 

                I didn’t know what I’m supposed to feel right now, but I know this is what they call heavenly happiness. Ever since I was 12, my mother told me I had to marry someone from another empire to help me rule in the future and expand our kingdom but I was too afraid to know who the person is. That’s why I was planning to head back to Japan on Kris’ wedding to meet this person so that I could forget the painful memories I left here and start a new one but knowing the truth… I-I can’t describe what I feel

 

                “I’m glad it has to be you” I smiled

 

                “What?”

 

                “Well, mom had told me I was supposed to marry someone when I’m at the right age and…”

 

                “And?”

 

                “Another reason why I want to go back to Japan is that I was going to meet that person” I said

 

                “So you thought it was a Japanese girl?”

 

                “Yeah…”

 

                “C’mon Lu Han, you have Chinese blood! Japanese Royalties only marries pure Japanese (Big Lie!) by blood!”

 

                “Eh? Oh man…”

 

                “Hahaha!! You’re funny!”

 

                “Yah, stop laughing!” I slapped him on the chest (that’s too girly, Lu Han) but he still chuckled

 

                “Okay, I’ll be serious now”

 

                “Hmm…”

 

                “… Lu Han?”

 

                “Yes?”

 

                He took out something from his pocket, it was a small red box wrapped like a gift. He opened it and kneeled in front of me and said...

 

.

 

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                “Will you marry me?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hiiiiii!!!!!! did you have fun with your new year guys???

i hope you enjoyed this chapter! i'll update again soon... i hope?

btw, thank you for my subbies!!!! i love you guys!! :DDD