The evening was rainy and cold but I didn’t felt it at all because everything was left behind the window.

He was sleeping while I was stuck in his embrace enjoying peacfull atmosphere.  Sometimes he would tighten his arm around my waist and draw me closer to his warm body but never woke up. Like always I was doing my duty and being his teddy bear on evening like this.

The book I was holding hour ago was already forgotten and dropped somewhere under the bed. All my efforts to concentrate my thoughts on the words that were written in the pages went in the trash bin because of him. The person that had me enveloped in his arms was a needy one. He always wanted my attention on him. It didn’t matter if we were hanging with our friend group that usually consisted mainly of guys, or we were just watching TV in the apartment. He always found the way to bug me.

At first when we started seeing each other I was surprised every time he would hold me tight against him. Murmuring sweet things in my ears, saying that he lost his head because of me. That always made me laugh. To put it shortly I was seeing everything as a joke. I thought he will be one of those guys who showed in my life and after a month disappeared and were forgotten… oh boy how I was wrong…

I never thought he will make me feel like this. He made me discover things I had never knew…

True first kiss… He wasn’t the first guy who touched my lips but somehow he was the first one who made me feel special after it.

I could still remember the look in his eyes. They were full of love and passion for a person like me. The moment his lips touched mine I was lost. He attacked me and I wasn’t prepared at all. When I didn’t showed any emotions he didn’t gave up. Hugging my closer to his body, he was softly nibbling my lips with so much love that left me stunned for a long time. At the end I gave up… Slowly lifting my hand and pinning them around his neck a soft smile grazed our connected lips. For the first time I really responded to someone’s kiss…

Jealousy… This thing was always unknown for me. For a girl like me who would always had everyone’s attention on her, guys lining to take her for a dated, this world never existed in her vocabulary… But yet again he caught me in his trap...

I always made him wait. It didn’t matter if it was date or something urgent. It didn’t matter if it was raining or snowing. Well you can say I was cruel but he found his way in my heart. One time like always I was late but this one time he wasn’t waiting alone for me… There was girl hugging him like he was her possession. Her smile and his laugh and the way he returned the hug created an uneasy feeling inside my body. For the first time I was angry… In the crowd of busy people, his eyes found me standing not far away from him still with the girl attached... I didn’t know what happened to me… I just spun around and started walking from the horrible scene with my trembling body. I didn’t want to show him my face at time like this. I didn’t want him to see jealousy write clearly on me.

He caught me at the bus stop few minute after my dash but still then I was afraid to face him. Slowly covering my face with the palms of me hands, a small chuckle escaped my lips because the situation was just foolish. For the first time I was jealous and embarrassed for my behavior…In never thought he would understand me and I never thought I will find a way to explain to him but to my surprise, I didn’t need to tell anything. Two warm hands pulled me into an embrace and a laugh reached my ears. Both of us stood in the bus stop laughing like two fools and all the people around us thought we are insane.

 Salty tears…

He was the first guy that made my cry from fear of losing him… I never fought with any of my lovers. Simply I just dismissed them if I had enough of our relationship but with him it was different…

This time fight ended with his painful words that led to break up. They stung like hell in my chest. I couldn’t believe that he wanted to leave me and never see my face again. I just couldn’t believe it. Grabbing the purse and coat from the chair I opened the door and left the apartment with loud thud. I still can remember that day… Rain was pouring from the morning and I was drenched just after making few steps. Someone was calling my name but for it was just echoed from falling rain. A rough pull spun me to face his form. He was breathing deeply from the running he just made but the words stuck in lips. Slowly his hands reached my face. He mouthed something but I couldn’t read his lips. My eyes felt and soon something warm dropped on my cheek. I knew that it was not the rain. I was crying because I felt hurt and because I felt relieved. He came to me… Soon his lips crashed on my trembling ones. His grip in my body was painful but also and caring. His pleading for forgiveness merged with the autumn’s rain.

“Thinking about me? “

He was awake. His sharp eyes were studying my face and I felt how the corners of my lips moved up. Slowly lifting my hand I ran it trough his hair leaving it to linger longer on his neck.

“Maybe “

Sudden force crashed my body closer to his. His lips found mine and I melted in the kiss.

For the first time I was really in love…

I was really in love with this guy…