That night I was not able to fall asleep, rolling here and there on my bed as the music keeps on playing in my computer. Kelly Clarkson - Dark Side. The thought of having to spend time just the two of us in the afternoon is a treasure that I've been seeking all this time. For years I've been waiting for this time finally arrived, an outing just the two of us. We did spend time together when we were in high school but later on, nope. Hardly anymore but then, the guilt that I'm bearing made me feel uncomfortable. He has yet to know that I'm gay and I'm in love with him. Will our relationship changed if I ever tell him I love him? That's the only question that haunts me day and night everytime I chatted with him. I've been acting weird among my friends and probably they knew that I am, but only him who haven't or yet to say / jokes about it. Getting frustrated, I my monitor screen and have a chat with Jihoon hyung (virtual brother) on Facebook. I really need someone whom I can talk to, and give the best advices to me. I can't face it alone, I'm a coward when it comes to relationship. Look at what had happened to my past, my dark past. I need someone to cling on, I need someone whom I can depend on, someone whom I trust. Someone like my brother....

Since is an internet chatting, I won't include expression on this as we do not know what the recipient reaction / expression is

."Hyung, I have a problem. Can we talk?" I asked, feeling sad all this time. Having those guilt lingering up in my body.

"Yeah, what is it?" 

"Hyung, you know that my ual preference is different from other people, right?"

"Yeah"

"So you think is it good to be honest with my best friend?"

"Well, I think it depends on you, isn't it? The first wall you need to overcome is yourself. What do you think? Is it alright or is it not? The answer lies on you."

"I'm scared hyung. Really. 2 of my best friend just left me thanks to my personalities. I'm having phobia already...."

"Why? Are they cowards? Just because you are gay that's why they left you?"

" No hyung, not because of that. I erm... because I'm the obsessive type"

" Are they afraid just by being your friends?"

"Probably? Probably because I'm annoying? I don't know hyung... I'm kinda annoying when I become really obsess with someone.."

" In what way? I mean your obsessiveness."

" Obsess until that I feel like meeting him everyday."

"I think is fine but don't overdo it. You might be overthinking as well."

" I guess I really did overdo it.. Hyung, I really not sure whether should I tell him or not. Been 6 years I'm keeping this to myself."

"Well, in this situation, dont. You're not ready, you need to clear up your mind. Everytime you start thinking of what might happened, you're overthinking.  Do something else to clear up your mind. "

"But hyung, I can't keep this secret forever. Else let him figure out himself?"

"Either that, or you find the right time to tell him."

" This afternoon, I think I've given him a hint..."

" Like how?"

" He asked me whether do I need someone to share problems and secrets in the future? Without hesitation, I said no need and pointed at him. He was surprised at my action."

" That's a good hint I guess? but most people wouldn't notice."

" I cover it later on that I have friends to share with, not neccessary to have a partner in life. He too are single so I don't think he will notice it?"

"Well, my advice to you, don't overthink things. Okay?"

"Alright hyung, thanks for your advice."

"Alright"

I closed the monitor screen once again and head back to my bed, yet still thinking the whole incident that happened today. Seungho is good looking, I admit. But besides than that, he has alot of charm points. Musical talented, kind hearted and gentle to everyone. What else can you ask for? A perfect angel. Slowly, I drift off to sleep with the song still playing in my computer.

"Seungho, where are you?" I asked in the early afternoon as I was bored and there's nothing I can do right now since I'm alone in the house, lying on my bed.

" I'm outside shopping. Why?" 

" I'm bored..." I asked, pouting as I type the text message to him.

" Wanna have lunch together?" 

" Well, if you want to?" I got excited at the sudden offer. I quickly got up and search for good clothes to wear on.

"What to eat?" 

" Your call." I texted him back as I put on my towel around my waist.

"McDonald then. I come and pick you up." 

"Alright." Finally getting ready to hit over to the shower room.

"So what do you want to eat?" He asked as we already near the counter, ordering food.

"Get me a large set of Samurai Beef Burger." I replied him, getting ready my wallet to pay him.

"Alright then"

" May I have your order, sir?" The lady asked in a sweet voice, ready to take his order.

" 2 set large Samurai Beef Burger please" He said while pulling out few notes from his wallet.

"Wait! Let me pay this time!" I said while passing him a few notes from my wallet.

"Is okay, don't sweat bout it." He said while handing the lady few 10,000 won.

"Thank you. Please wait for awhile." She smiled and then went off to take our food.

"Is raining out there." I asked while chomping a few fries in my mouth. We got our food after waited impatiently as the lady slowly pick up our food and place it on the tray. That took her almost 15 minutes!

"Yeah.. Say Sanghyun." He asked while looking straight into my eyes. I don't dare to look at him as I was shy to do so.

"Yeah?" I replied him with my face looking down at the fries and burger.

"Are you.... gay?" He asked.

I shot up and look at him. "Does he notice it already?"

Author's note : So how is it? The next chapter will be the final so let's vote.

1) Tell?
2) Keep?