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So I am gonna run away and leave you behind

You might say im running in blind.

Minho had always had someone to turn to, someone who will wait for him at the end of the day, someone who would listen to his rage when they didn’t promote him at work or his sorrow when his dear grandmother has passed away. That someone was Jinki. Even though they dated for 2 years, they have been friends their whole lives, close ones who shared every little detail about themselves, who laughed carelessly, who were pulled together by the sting of fate… Or so Minho thought.

Minho didn’t watch Jinki leave in hopes that it would make it easier, however, coming back to an empty cold apartment; There was no smell of food, no sound of singing, no sight of that smile that brings him up each time was harder.  Minho drops on the bed. Has he really been that awful? Was his pride blinding him when everything went down? Will Jinki ever come back?

But I’ve lost my faith in life and death,

I have lost my faith in hope and love, its just deceiving

I have lost my faith in grace and god

I have lost my faith in you and me so I am leaving

Days went on, they went on as Minho races home, hoping to see Jinki, hoping that the choking silence has disappeared. But each time he went home, more of Jinki seemed to disappear, more  of that silence weighted down on his chest. The tall guy lies awake in the end of the day, wondering if something as hope would be worth it, wondering if love has ever existed in the first place.

More days has went on and Minho stops rushing home, and as Jinki’s scent fades away  he starts to wonder if he has ever existed, did he love him in his dreams? he tried to forget them but how can you forget more than half of your life? For that he settles for not believing in them anymore, he stops believing that someone used to hold so much space in his heart is gone, he stops believing in their love.

I don’t know what im missing

But the end is near and theres ain’t no new beginning

No, no, no                      

The younger misses Jinki, it’s something that took him a pathetic shower that involved him crying as he leans in, one hand on the wall and another on , and another crying season as he throws everything near at the TV as he watches Love Actually to admit so. He misses Jinki and he wishes he knew what he missed, did he miss the meals, did he miss his smell or his touch, did he miss his encouraging warm words, did he miss his paintings? What did he miss exactly, what could he fill these blanks with? How big were those blanks? How can he ever fill in those blanks?

After the sunset

there will be a sunrise

I want you to wait for it

Minho waits for the days where the day just seems a bit brighter, a day where the hole Jinki has created doesn’t hurt as much, the days where his mother sends him his favorite food and his soccer team wins; he cheers and laughs at the faces of the players who lost, something raising in his chest, something that is making him feel a bit better than before, a bit more whole, a bit more human. Even at the end of that day he comes home drunk and savors such day.

Such days were increasing, It would’ve been fine if it weren’t for the fact that at the end of each of them he would visit his usual bar and drink himself away, until his slurred words made no sense, until the nice bartender calls him a taxi.

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Waiting to put my feet on the ground

Im tired of going up and down

But sometimes it feels safer waiting

Taemin waits at the bus station, a suitcase in his hand and a mess clouding his mind, he has always dreamt of being an actor, always wrote so on his school work as a kid, his parents took it as a joke, they laughed and patted his back, but he grew older and the words didn’t change. “I want to be an actor.”

Taemin had never dreamt of leaving his home, a warm home, not until he got a chance to do a musical and his parents had strongly opposed, telling him to forget about such an absurd dream, and for once in his life, he felt like running away, and here he is, a suitcase in his hand, the bus making a stop, his bus.

Taemin puts one foot on the bus stairs and looks behind, he’s leaving all of this, not just his parents, he’s leaving his friends, his ground, his home and all possible memories, the blond shakes those thoughts away and gets in, taking a seat by the window. Goodbye, he says in his mind, he will get back, and they will be happy for him, they will laugh off their ious anger, and everything will be alright.

It will be alright.

It feels like im falling again

The so-called musical he has headed to was nothing big, no, it was a middle school musical, Taemin fell into the first chair he could find, his elbows on his knees, his palms on his face, how could this ever happen? How did he ever come to be this stupid? Taemin asks himself, and more importantly, where will he be staying?

The blond enters his new apartment, he stares at the wood and sighs, this wasn’t even a simple apartment, it wouldn’t be suited to be a rat’s home but that’s all he could afford with the landlord being kind enough. Taemin looks for acting jobs around, he goes to audition, and for the first time in his life he had to wake himself up, he had to cook for himself and he had to make sure he looks fine, and as he looks at the mirror, fixing his hair, his hands fall to his side. This isn’t what he expected, he feels his heart clench, he went to 12 auditions already, and was not even accepted for minor parts, he sighs, he misses home, he gets his backpack and heads outside. Maybe he should start looking for random jobs now.

The first job he could get his hands on is a bartender, the bar was alright, not too messy, not too fancy and Taemin just accepts that he will be working there. His first day there was spent learning about alcohol, his mentor was someone who was cursing his luck, asking him why it had to be him to teach new interns.

“You don’t know what an Appletini is?” His mentor questions and scans him, narrowing his eyes. Then asked for his ID, indeed, he’s 19, the guy is sighs and continues explaining. “I’m Taemin by the way.” The blond introduces himself, cutting the guy in the middle of his speech, another thing he thought he should gain here are friends. The guy stops and shoots him a death glare, sighing then offering his hand. “I’m Key.” The guy answers back, even though Key seemed cold, Taemin could hear the warmness in his voice, he wanted him as a friend. Taemin smiles so brightly for the first time in a while. “Nice to meet you!” He bows instead of shaking his hand, the blond finds Key’s face in shock when he gets up, but later breaks into laughter, followed by him ruffling his hair, Taemin smiles, he was right about Key.

Key admires Taemin behind the bar, the kid was skilled with mixing and preparing drinks, moving so smoothly, his hands moving so fast and so elegantly, the older smiles and nods, he is very much suited for this job, Key bites his lip as he thinks how the blond would look in their uniform.

Taemin catches Key looking at him and flashes a smile, he liked him from day one, from the first glance to his fashion, to his earrings and his odd yet fitting hair, and just as expected, he was someone to mentor him, to teach him about more than just alcohol, to teach him how to survive in this city.

Doors are opening

Doors are closing

People come and go

But im still riding elevators

Never here or there

In the ground or the air

People come and go

But im still riding elevators

The bartender leans on the counter, boredom evident in his expression, he thought this would only look up as he has Key by his side, however, no one had really accepted him, looking at him as a stranger, and the job wasn’t good either, maybe good for someone else, but all he could find as he works are drunk men, blabbering about their relationships or their family, hitting on him with every dirty word that exists in the English language, some even mistaken him for a girl; Taemin wanted to punch that guy in the face.

Business men were casual visitors, they all looked fancy with their suits, with their perfect skin and perfectly tucked in shirts, Taemin did like men in suits, unfortunately, all that seemed to attend this bar were old hags in their 40’s with sickly sweet scents, with awfully grabby hands and he hated them, if only he didn’t work there, Taemin would have made sure they would never have kids, or another one probably. Taemin sighs, all kind of people visit, they come and go and he’s left there, preparing their drinks, promising with a smile that he would be there tomorrow, and he would be. Even though the blond never leaves it never felt stable, the ground felt like it doesn’t exist under his feet, he felt himself being pulled up and down, tugged in on either side, he was something, but he didn’t know what he was exactly, was he alright? Was he bad? Was he doing well? Taemin bit his lip, maybe it would’ve been better if he listened to his parents.

My parents

Taemin closes his eyes and frowns his eyebrows, he misses them.

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There you go! tell me what you think, or if I should move this out of this story... But since it all related I don't feel like it should

ugh I don't know, just enjoy.