Words: 1,221

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If you put my heart under a microscope

You’re probably gonna wonder

Why it’s in such a critical condition

And if it scares you off to look at my horoscope

I’m not gonna blame you

I’m not gonna wonder.

It was clear to everyone who looks at the poor guy, look at his bend figure, his messy hair, and his opened up suit, that something was wrong, and to his co-workers it was as clear as the sun, they have always assumed he had a pretty girlfriend who took care of him every day, however, now it was just about clear that she’s gone. That what they thought.  No one has guessed that it wasn’t a girl but a guy, and above all, it was the ‘friend’ he brought along on his birthday. Minho wasn’t close to anyone at the office, he’ve always seen them as rivals, and now such thinking has turned against him, because all he wants to do now is talk, he wanted someone to listen and there was no one near that would.

His heart was breaking apart, he was falling apart but no one knew.

I am holding on to someone I can hold no more

Oh and sadly I’ve been here before, I can’t let go, no

I am reaching out for someone I can’t reach no more

Oh it feels like my heart is nailed to the floor. 

And because of it, all Minho could do was imagine Jinki smile, imagine his worried expression as he explains to him how he feels.  Minho felt pathetic to be doing such a thing, to turn the apartment upside down to find one picture of Jinki and when he finally does, the words he wanted to say, the thoughts that were running wild before has frozen up now, turned into endless tears.

Today was not easy, or easier, yet he still went to the bar, out of habit, out of the desire to forget.

I guess I’ve sacrificed everything for my dreams

Now it’s completely out of control

Things are not at all as they seemed

But it is hard to navigate in a chaotic mind.

Minho steps into the bar, with an emotionless expression on his face, his heart has felt empty, he felt empty, but unlike before it wasn’t bothering or suffocating him, it was a warm emptiness,  calm, the poor guy didn’t realize what he felt was acceptance.

Taemin’s day was going as usual, a bit too stressful for his liking, it was Friday and it meant that every kind of people would be coming, it meant that the business men were having an end of week celebration, Key has warned him of this day and Taemin has been prepared. However, he will never be prepared enough for the hands of drunken men, even women, he felt uneasy, he felt like his world was going down with nowhere to look forward to, the blond guy laughs, maybe pay check day.

It was 3AM when Minho stepped in the bar. It was about the end of Taemin when he did, there wasn’t any energy left in him.

Taemin looks up lazily, muttering a welcome but he stops halfway as he sees a handsome young guy in a suit for once, his eyes shoot up, his heart skips a beat, his mouth suddenly dry, the guy though, has not looked up.

“Scotch.” Minho orders, his voice broken, his body aching and all he wanted to do was forget. Taemin obeys; moving to the beat of his heart then places the glass in front of him.

Minho drinks two glasses before he looks up, shutting his eyes tightly then opening them again. “What’s your name,  kid.” He asks as Taemin works, his eyes darting to his hands, to how smoothly they move. “Taemin.” He answers as he places a glass on the counter, a small tired smile crawling into his lips. “Mino” The business guy tries to introduce himself, but letters escape him. The blond knits his eyebrows and leans forward. “Minho.” He tries again, taking another sip of the alcohol as a celebration and the bartender opens his mouth in awe, even his name suits him.

Minho looks troubled as he shifts on the seat. The blond glances at him, wondering if he should head for the bathroom but the older guy just opens the buttons of his shirt. “You look like you could use some fresh air.” Taemin suggests. Minho can’t say that he’s wrong.

It was 4AM when they lied down on the roof, bodies apart yet close enough for Taemin’s liking,  they stare into the black night sky for a while before the blond breaks the silence. “So what’s your story?” he asks, his eyes never leaving the sky.  Minho doesn’t reply. “Everyone who comes here has a story. I’m the one who listens.” Taemin continues and looks at Minho, and that’s when the older sighs in relief, not even aware that he was holding his breath, his body relaxing on the hard floor, the pain in his heart loosening up as he explains, without leaving even one detail.

Someone finally listens to him, and he takes the chance to the fullest.

Taemin just stays there and listen, though he loses track of his words after an hour, his eyes focusing on his lips, moving, forming words that he can no longer hear, he wanted to do something, that what was on his mind, he didn’t want to just look, however, something was pulling him back, so he settles for lacing his fingers around the others fingers, tightening it around his hand, comforting him maybe, but the blond wanted to do more than that. He closes his eyes tight as he could finally feel the tiredness crawling into his body.

“What’s your address?” The bartender asks when Minho gets silent. “Why” He says, not even sounding it as a question. “I’m getting your drunk home, that’s why.”

That morning Taemin does get him home, he actually carries him so, cursing how tall Minho is, and panting when he gets to the door. He sweeps the card and stands there to catch his breath. He gets in and drops Minho on the couch to look for the bedroom, and when he does find it, he runs back to where he dropped  Minho and carries him to it, placing him into the be, slowly this time.  As he does so he doesn’t lean back up, he keeps his hands on the bed as he gazes down at the drunk guy, he reeks of alcohol, but Taemin thinks if it would be okay for him to steal a kiss. Before he could decide, his eyes catch something sticking out of the pillow. He reaches to get it without thinking twice.

It was a picture, a picture of a guy with paint on his face and fingers, trying to wave the camera away, it was a picture of a guy  with a big smile on his face and the blonds recognizes it right away, the smile Minho has been describing all night, there it was. Taemin tucks it back right away, his heart clenching in jealousy and gets out right away,  he can’t get attached to someone who couldn’t let go, doesn’t seem like he will.

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So here's what happened:

My computer gets completely wiped out, meaning all my writings disappearing, even the ones I kept for my self and it took me days to even realize how much I lost, I didn't want to make you wait too much so I re-wrote this chapter... It may seem lacking and I'm sorry I'll do better next time.

Also, why do my chapters get shorter as I go on, I'll make sure to make the next a long one.

I'm not sure though, there's a lot of stuff I need to complete by next week.