farewell ; (myungsoo/naeun)
Ten Thousand Feels
For every chapter, there is a beginning. For every beginning, there’s a story, and for every story, the ending is at all cost, inescapable.
Myungsoo stares at his black watch, sometimes forgetting that his watch is ten minutes faster than the large, digital clock he sees on the wall. He sees faceless strangers pass by him, but doesn't bother. Restless, but he doesn’t exactly understand what he feels, albeit today is the day that he’ll bid farewell to his best friend. One, that he grew up with, one that enjoys basking in silence with him, one that shares the same indescribable obsession for the colour black, one that (always) looks the prettiest from all of the girls that he knew (though he barely knows any), and one that he silently falls in love with, ever since the fifth grade.
She’s leaving Seoul for good; chasing after her dash of rainbows, and Myungsoo thinks, he shouldn’t be selfish, albeit a part of him desperately wants her to stay. Because she is his white star, his pocket of sunshine, and his Son Naeun.
So, he stands there in front of her with a smile (barely) plasters on his face, and a fragile heart that is almost sinking, he thinks. Just a few more steps from the boarding hall and off, she’d be gone with the wind – away with his heart.
“Son Naeun,” He calls up her name, just because.
“Kim Myungsoo,” She replies him back,
For the first time ever, the silence between them is awkward, as both could barely look at each others’ eyes without darting away. Perhaps it’s the harsh thing called reality, of last goodbye, of wants and needs, of white dreams and red love, or of just the innocent two, of him and her, thinking of what and how to part without inviting pain.
“Would you miss me?” She finally says, tip-toeing a little, with both hands shoved into the pocket of her black trench coat.
“Of course,” He smiles for a short while, and pats her head for one last time, “You — never skips breakfast, and remember to eat on time,”
She chuckles, and shakes her head lightly, “Don’t worry, I heard that the school feed their students six times a day,”
He scoffs, knowing exactly what food means to her.
“Can you promise me a few more things?” He resumes,
“Sure,”
“Promise me, that you’ll talk more, and make more friends when you reach there so you won’t get stuck with just one best friend throughout your school years like you did with me?”
She nods.
“Promise me, to not be too kind to people because kindness is overrated, and because the last time you were being you, people took advantage of you, and I had to always be there to take a stand for you just because you couldn’t say no. It’s tiring, you know,”
She nods again.
“Promise me – you’ll study hard and never, ever give up even when you think you should. Because your dream of saving animals is too noble, and because it’s your dream, and you have to chase after it. Don’t do it for anyone, but do it because of you, yourself,”
She nods, unknowingly blinks away her tears.
“And promise me, that one day you’ll find your Augustus Waters, one that you could read a book with because he wants to, one that would cherish you and one that you'll say "I do" at the end of the day,”
She smiles because she knows what he means, and he smiles, to cover the pain.
For every chapter, there is a beginning. For every beginning, there’s a story, and for every story, the ending is at all cost, inescapable.
There’s an unbearable pain in his chest as he watches how she slowly walks away, and leaves. He’ll miss her for sure, but he’ll learn to let her go, perhaps not now, but maybe one day. Maybe one day when the universe turns upside down, when the skies aren’t cloudy again, he’ll meet her again someday, somewhere. Somewhere where dreams and destiny collide, and their paths would cross again.
myungsoo/naeun :)
to L. because she ships them
my little gift for my lovely dongsaeng,
take a good care of yourself there :)
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