He sat at the desk. The stillness of the night froze him, as he stared blankly on his laptop's screen. He could hear his own heart beating, with the scrooping noise of the ceiling fan, as trains of endless thoughts ran through his mind. Darting his eyes on the right corner of the screen, of the laptop's task bar; he noticed it was already 11.53 in the midnight.

Seven minutes until midnight. Seven minutes until her birthday was over.

Should he wish her a happy birthday?

Would she be genuinely happy if he wished her?

Can he actually wish her?

And— could an ex wish their exes a happy birthday without even being awkward?

That, Kim Jongin had no certain idea. 

But he continued to stare, stare and helplessly stare at her facebook's profile. Every ten seconds, he would click the 'refresh' button, and kept his eyes fixated on those birthday wishes she received from her circle of network friends. He managed a little smile, upon reading some of it, and burnt a bit in red jealousy, each time he read those long wishes from her pathetic, desperate guy friends (or perhaps just some creepy internet admirers). He didn't like them one bit, but he knew, he was no longer in the position to feel that way, albeit his feelings for her had never really strayed away.

Because Jung Soojung was Kim Jongin's first love. Because he met her during one autumn day, and he drifted apart from her during the harsh, cold of a winter.

Winter, damn, winter. Kim Jongin loathed winter. Those feathery flakes of fuzzy snow weren't as exquisite as it used to be to him, before. 

He scoffed. Never did he like reminiscing his broken, daunting past, nor entertaining his lonely, secluded feelings. But he did, he had always did so, almost way too often. It was just that; his skyscraper of ego would never let his strings of heart to admit that. He was an egoist, a hypocrite one; one who was too full of himself to acknowledge his unresolved feelings. He let the pain of the emptiness to grow inside him, as it grew along with the passage of time.

He was a coward, Kim Jongin was— a damn coward. 

Slowly, he found his strength. The silence of the night was deafening, as his heartbeat raced a little, that very moment he made up his mind. He then moved his fingers across the keyboard, knowing exactly what he would type. Satisfied with it; he slowly dragged the pointer over the 'post' button and with a sigh, he clicked the icon. 

Happy birthday, Soojung.

That was the least that Kim Jongin could do. 

Kai/Krystal ♥

would it be pathetic of me, if I dedicated this to myself?

/happybirthdayme/