* (♛) Envy ▬▬▬

Why do people lie? Is it because one is envious of another? Why? The amount of trust I gave people is higher than Mt. Everest. Yet to everyone else, it seemed that my appearance and wealth must touch the stars. And the scars across my body proved that. I was a disgrace. Even beautiful cherry blossoms petals curled and dried up as I admired its gracefulness.

But, what did I have for others to envy? The most betrayed? The most lied to? I had nothing. The next morning, I trudged to the cherry blossom tree. Its branches were still twisted and dry. I slowly walked towards it and caressed the peeling bark. ‘I hope you get better,’ I whispered to the tree. ‘When you do, listen to me again, will you?’

‘It’s her again. The famous girl of rags!’ yelled a voice from behind.

I swiftly turned around, my hand still holding onto the tree. ‘You!’ I yelled. I couldn’t help it. It was them; the ones who brought me such misery. They had so much pride that it made my insides churn and turn. ‘What? You piece of filth. You dare point us out and address us in such way with your dirty mouth?’ the leader of the group growled.

‘Hey,’ called a boy behind him. ‘That tree, it’s getting cut down next month.’ They laughed hysterically as you dropped to your knees. You didn’t plan it. You didn’t want to do it. But it just happened. Tears slowly trickled down your face. No. You’re not going to die. I’m not going to let people simply cut you down like that. You’re my door. You’re my truth.

The tears dripped onto the tree. ‘Why you crying?’ yelled the leader. ‘Go cry to your mummy!’ But the tears seemed to give me strength. As I turned around, I felt an uplifted feeling on my chest. It felt wonderful. I could remember the feeling forever. It was as if all my burdens lifted off my shoulders and I just floated up into the clouds. A smile curved on my lips.

The boys didn’t know what to do. I knew that they couldn’t predict what I was going to do next. But the truth was, I didn’t know what to do next. I simply stood there, smiling at their fear-struck faces. ‘Why are you smiling?’ they spat. I grinned widely as I replied: ‘Because my friend is here for me.’

I could tell from their face that they were confused. Their little minds worked like gears, trying to process what I just said. ‘You have no friends.’ I looked up. What? ‘Your friend is the tree,’ one of the boys snickered. What do I say at a time like this? Do I defend my friend? Do I run away? My hands trembled in fear, beads of perspiration appeared on my forehead and my legs felt like two pieces of lead.

‘I envy you to have such a nice friend,’ the boys sneered sarcastically. ‘It’s such a beautiful thing that your friend can always be there for you.’ All the boys laughed. His sarcasm pulled out my nerves. I simply wanted to rip his tongue from his filthy mouth so he could never utter another word.

But, no, I couldn’t. I couldn’t simply make such a disturbance in a place like this. Not even when my cherry blossom tree was resting. Not when my best friend was resting. ‘I envy your mothers for being able to put up with you.’ And without another word, I walked away, my chin held high. ‘Remember your friend is going down next month,’ one of the boys yelled. ‘I have no mother to put up with me,’ another one yelled.

My footsteps slowed down. My mind froze. My smile disappeared. As I turned around, I saw one of the boys looking at me sadly. ‘I have no mother,’ he repeated. ‘That’s why I truly envy you for having a friend who is always at the same place, waiting for you.’

The boy’s friends stared at him, as if he were a bug that was bothering them. ‘What are you saying?’ they asked him angrily as a bully would say to their victim. The boy simply stood there. Tears that he couldn’t hold in dripped down his face.

I couldn’t just stand there. I walked up to the crying boy, and hugged him tight. All my depression, anger and feelings of loneliness seemed to spill out of my heart. I had someone just like me. ‘It’s okay,’ I whispered in his ear. ‘I understand.’