It’s hard for Luhan to face each new day with a smile.

Granted, he scowls every morning when he is woken up by Xiumin, cries himself to sleep every night, but still, Luhan tries his hardest to smile every day.

It’s hard because Luhan is dying. Nobody knows about the malfunctioning artery in his heart, nobody has to know. They don’t know that any day now, Luhan is liable to drop dead with a heart that has combusted, tears staining his cheeks.

It’s not fair, he reasons to himself. It’s not fair. He just managed, after four hard years, to complete his dream. His life was just starting. It wasn’t fair that he had to live with the heavy burden of a dying heart, and the sad, sad shadow of death hanging over his head. But still,  Luhan smiles on. He smiles for his brothers, he smiles for his fans. He smiles for himself, to remind himself, that he’s still there, and he’s going to keep fighting until his last breath.

Yet one day, the carefully guarded secret is spilled. Luhan’s doctor mails him his monthly results, and Sehun, precious Sehun is the first to open it, because usually Luhan doesn’t mind Sehun going through his mail. Luhan is lying down on his bed, contemplating his purpose in life, when Sehun storms in, holding the letter crumpled in his hand. “What. Is. This?!” Sehun hisses. Luhan looks up startled, and grimaces and he catches hold of the handwritten note at the bottom: You have about three months left.

“Look, I can explain...” Luhan starts, but Sehun cuts him off.

“Explain what? Explain that you were going to die and not tell us? Explain that every day your condition is getting worse but you’re just going to push yourself to the limit anyways? Hyung, we care. We care about you. You could’ve told us... We could’ve helped you... We could’ve... We could’ve...” Sehun falls to the ground and bursts into tears. All this is too much for the 18-year-old to take. Luhan is startled and jumps up to comfort the younger child.

“It’s okay Sehun-ah. I’ll be fine, you’ll see. I’ll live for you, I’ll live for me, I’ll live for EXO. Do you really think your hyung would leave without a fight and a cup of taro bubble tea in hand?” Luhan teases. Despite his sobs, Sehun manages to break into giggles, before switching back to howling. He repeatedly pounds Luhan’s chest, and Luhan winces. “Careful, my heart is fragile, remember?” Sehun immediately stops his abuse and looks up in alarm.

“It’s not gonna get worse because of that, is it?” He croaks out.

Luhan grins. “Of course not. I was joking with you.” Sehun nods in satisfaction, before standing up and preparing to go to the living room, where the other members are located. Alarmed, Luhan shoots up as well. “You’re not going to tell the others, are you?”

“Of course I am,” Sehun nods grimly, “They deserve to know. There’s a lot of people I need to tell: your parents, the company, manager hyung... It’s for your own good, hyung. They’ll hospitalize you, and you can get a heart transplant. And then, and then... everything will be like it always was.”

“No! Don’t... please Hun-ah. Please, don’t tell my parents. I don’t want to spend the rest of my days in the hospital, without the outdoors, without the hard work everyday... without you. I can’t bear to imagine spending the rest of my life without my brothers. So, please... please.”

“I’ll think about it,” Sehun says curtly before announcing to his brothers about Luhan’s condition.

The next few days pass just as Luhan imagine it. He is carted off to the hospital, asked questions, poked and prod. But he holds in the complaints. It’s for EXO, he thinks to himself. Keep smiling... keep smiling. And so he does. When doctors come bustling in asking how he is today, he smiles and answers that he is fine. Always smiling.