Love doesn't have to hurt....
Of crushes and public confessions..
Love doesn't have to hurt....
to feel good
Hyoyeon shoved the phone under the sofa cushions and buried her face in her arms. She deserved this – she was the one who had rejected him first, she had no right to be hurt. And yet, her heart.. or whatever remained of it.. felt like it had been ripped to shreds. If only she could turn back time.. she’d do things so differently.
Juliette!! ♪ ♫
Her phone rang and she plugged her ears not wishing to hear the cheerful love song at that very moment.
After a few refrains, the call ended. But it was followed shortly by a buzzing sound accompanied by a message alert. Wiping her face with the back of her hand, she retrieved her phone.
Get it together, Hyoyeon!
If only her work.. the world.. would let her have just one day.
However, that was not reality. The message was probably from their choreographer. He was supposed to send her the dance practice schedule for Dream Concert. Well, dance was the next best thing to distract her from her broken heart – she hoped that the schedule would be soon and strenuous.
Composing herself, she pressed the necessary buttons but was shocked when the message sender ID read DJ.
Wasn’t it enough that he had rejected her… and she had humiliated herself? What was left to say?
She snapped the phone shut.
But as she sat there, biting her thumb, she couldn’t let it go. Doojoon wasn’t the type of person to hurt another person deliberately.. let alone her.
Taking a long deep breath, she clicked his message.
Pick up please Hyoyeonah.. I wasn’t finished speaking. I am calling you in five minutes. You have to answer.
She re-read the text through misty eyes.
What was he saying? Could she still hope?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three minutes later the phone rang again.
Juliette!! ♪ ♫
She pressed the answer button but was unable to utter a word.
She heard his soft breathing on the other end, “You must not like me that much, huh Hyoyeonah?” His voice was like a low hum.. automatically comforting her but it also held a hint of teasing.
She tried to break away from it's mesmerizing powers and focus on his words. “What?”
A soft chuckle. “Pabo ya, you hung up without fully hearing what I wanted to say. Did you give up on us so easily?”
“There.. there is an ‘us’?” she asked hesitantly, her guard still up. Her heart couldn’t endure any more let-downs.
“What did you take me for? A player? That’s too bad because now you’re stuck with me.”
“I..I don’t.. understand.”
“Fine. I’ll spell it for you. I didn’t want you to say those words because I want the first time I hear them to be in person, when I can see you!”
Hyoyeon’s face flushed with relief. “Yoon Doojoon! You’re so mean! You let me think that.. that.. I had lost you forever. If you were in front of me right now, I’d punch you!”
In response, his laugh was loud and unrestrained. It had been weeks since he had really laughed like he meant it and he couldn’t stop now. The source of his joy was back in his life - she was his!
“I’m serious,” she whined.
“Arasso, mianhe” he replied in a cajoling voice, “Dream concert is in four days. There’s an after party right? You can do whatever you want to me then!”
Realizing how his words sounded, she started giggling too and the two very naturally re-settled into the comfort and security of each other’s company.
**************************************************
SM Ent. building:
“Oppa!” Yoona jumped up on Eeteuk hoping to scare him but all she got in response was an exhausted “Oh.. Hey Yoona!” in return.
Frowning Yoona joined Eeteuk on the floor of the wide SM building terrace. Most of the artistes went up there to think or just relax under the open sky. Yoona couldn’t even count the number of times she had been up here since her trainee days and smiled a little as she spied her name as well as those of eight other girls along the bottom of the wall.
“Yongwonhee So Nyuh Shi Dae~ One <3”
Eeteuk’s long sigh brought her back to the present.
“Oppa, what’s wrong?” she asked nudging his shoulder lightly. Eeteuk was like the brother she never had – they bickered and teased each other mercilessly but could also be serious and share their fears with one another.
“It must be about one of your members, right?” Yoona continued, not getting an answer from him. “Come on, you’ll feel better if you tell me. You know that.”
Eeteuk nodded in resignation. “It’s Eunhyukkah.. he’s been depressed for the past week and he won’t talk to me or anyone about it.”
Yoona’s famous alligator mouth dropped open in surprise. “Hyukjae oppa?” He was one of the most easy going and happy-go-lucky characters in the entire company.
“Hyoyeon’s confession on Strong Heart,” Eeteuk offered by way of explanation.
Surprisingly Yoona’s eyes turned slightly cold. “Oh!” After a moment, she replied in her candid manner, “You know that I am a big fan of Hyukjae oppa and I don’t want to take sides. But I can’t feel bad for him about this. He was the one who broke up with Hyoyeon unnie and totally shattered her heart. Do you know how long she has suffered to get over him? And now that she has moved on.. Hyukjae oppa is the one who gets depressed?”
“But he only did that to protect her!” The defensive words were out before Eeteuk could stop himself.
“What?” Yoona’s mouth stayed open.
Eeteuk’s eyes darted around wildly. Crap! He had promised to take Eunhyuk’s secret to the grave.
“Forget I said anything!”
“But.. oppaaaa you can’t drop a bomb like that and expect me to forget!” she whined.
Eeteuk sighed - he has never been able to refuse her - and began explaining what had conspired between SM’s CEO and Eunhyuk long ago. “So you see.. he had to break up with Hyoyeonnie so that she could debut.”
Yoona was at a loss for words.
“Look Yoong.. Eunhyukkah would not want Hyoyeonnie to find out about what he did or he would have told her himself. So we can’t interfere, ok?”
Yoona gulped.
She, Im Yoona, was bad at keeping secrets...worst of all from her confidant - Hyoyeon unnie.
***********************************************
SM practice room - 1 day before Dream Concert
“You’re glowing today Hyosukie! Could it have something to do with a certain crush?” Sooyoung asked in a teasing voice, feeling confident that she knew who it was. And basking in the knowledge that she had successfully played cupid.
“Hyoyeonah, you really aren’t going to tell us who it is?” Fany whined, using all her puppy-ish charms but all she got in return was, “Please wait another day Tippani. I’ll tell you guys soon. I promise!”
Just one more day… Dream Concert.. come sooner!
**********************************************
Dream Concert stadium
“So Nyuh Shi Dae, you are in Dressing Room 7. It’s at the end of the hallway,” a stadium staff pointed in the direction of said room and began filling their manager in on the day’s program.
Hyoyeon could feel the butterflies in her stomach. The long wait was almost over but strangely she had started to feel nervous. It had been a while since they’d seen each other face to face – and now the pressure was even more intense with her confession hanging in the air.
“Unnie! I have to go to the washroom. I’ll meet you back at the room.” Seohyun, who she had been walking arm in arm with, whispered to her and ran off. The rest of the girls were already at the end of the hallway.
Hyoyeon took out her phone – she had been waiting to check Doojoon’s message ever since she had received the alert 15 minutes ago in the car.
I’m at the stadium already. See you when you get here, Yeobo.
She giggled.
Three nights ago, they had been trying to decide special terms of endearment for each other over the phone. Doojoon wanted her to stick to calling him ‘Baby’ like she used to. But it was to be used for him and only him. Hyoyeon, however, was too embarrassed to ask him to call her by a mushy name. So Doojoon had decided on ‘Yeobo’.**
“I’m old-fashioned,” he laughed. A beat skipped; his voice turned oddly serious, “..and I’m in it for the long haul.”
Hyoyeon had blushed at the implication of his words then and even now, she felt her cheeks grow warm.
(**yeobo=term meaning honey/darling usually used between married couples)
A hand closed over her wrist and pulled her into a pitch black room.
Hyoyeon blinked in the darkness and opened to scream. The hand hastily left her wrist and covered . “It’s me!”
The lights .
“Oh my god!” she gasped and punched his arm. “I almost had a heart attack.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doojoon grinned cheekily. “Sorry. I had to act quickly so no one would see.”
Hyoyeon tried to catch her breath, now only mock glaring at him and Doojoon played along, “Mianhe Yeobo ya.”
Hyoyeon's cheeks turned pink and she kept her gaze fixed on the floor – slowly becoming aware of the tiny confines of the room. A supply closet!
She let out a high pitched fake laugh. “Fine, apology accepted. Now let’s get back.” She tried to walk past him but his hand shot out to block her path.
“Not so fast,” his lips were right next to her ear sending shivers down her entire body.
“Uh.. I.. I thought we were going to ..erm.. talk.. at the after party!” Hyoyeon replied frantically. She was the kind who had to rehearse her lines in order to say them perfectly.. and she didn’t want to mess this up – it meant too much to her.
“I’m impatient..” his lips had moved a little lower and were now grazing over the side of her face.
An idea sprang up in her mind. With a mischievous grin, she raised her head up and kissed his lips lightly. His hands stopped obstructing her and moved up to cup the sides of her face, deepening their kiss.
Hyoyeon had to pinch herself to remain alert – God! She had missed him so much and why was he so good at this! – but she had a mission.
Slowly she pivoted them around and inched her way backwards. When she felt the doorknob in her back she quickly pulled away. “Sorry baby! I’ll see you after the concert!” She bolted outside and ran all the way to her dressing room.
Doojoon couldn’t help letting out a frustrated sigh but neither could he help the impressed smile on his face.
Yet another thing to add to the list of things he loved about her.
******************************************************************
After rehearsals were over, Hyoyeon felt better than ever. They had added a dance intro to their performance and Hyoyeon loved everything about it. It was the kind of dance that she yearned to do - the moves were hard hitting and fierce. This day really couldn't get better.
"Thankyou So Nyuh Shi Dae. Next is Shinee. Please come up on stage - Shinee."
Hyoyeon picked her water bottle off the floor and exchanged hi-fives with all the boys as they walked in a single line.
She spotted him at the end.
"Jinki!" Hyoyeon smiled at her best guy friend in the company. They held hands even after the hi-five. He smiled back, but it didn't quite reach his tired eyes.
"Overnight musical rehearsals," he explained and she patted his arm sympathetically.
"Here! It has vitamins." She handed him her water bottle, "Jinki fighting!"
As he watched her walk away, regret replaced his smiling expression. She must be happy because of her new crush.He had seen the articles and tv show clips like everyone else...Darn it! Why did I have to be born with two left feet!
He held the water bottle close to himself.
******************************************************
"Sunny ah I'm going over to say hi to Nicole. Wanna come?" Hyoyeon asked while the rest of the girls were prepping for the make up and hair stylists' chairs. Sunny, Jessica and Hyoyeon had lost the rock scissor paper game and had to go last. Sica was already curled up in a corner, fast asleep.
"Sounds good. I'll go over to T-ara's and get Hyomin first. Meet you in Kara's dressing room." The pair headed in opposite directions. Kara's room was # 15 - around the corner.
As Hyoyeon was skipping towards it, she heard a familiar voice call her name. Turning around she spotted 2PM's Junho walking towards her purposefully.
She waved at him with a big smile. He was part of her group of friends outside SM - they used to hang out together often in the past but once both her and his groups' popularity exploded, it was harder to adjust ther schedules.
"Junho ya! How have you been?" she greeted when he got closer.
She was taken aback by the serious look on his face.
"Everything okay?" her voice trailed off -concerned and a little confused.
"I wanted to ask you something.... " his voice was just above a whisper. Whatever it was, he didn't want others to overhear. Hyoyeon leaned in, "What?"
"Do you have a crush on me?"
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