[[He]]

After a week with no interactions with Ella at all, I began to feel a surge of complicated emotions. Yeah, sure, I did say we needed space, but the minute I said it out, I regretted it. Clearly, I couldn’t bear looking at her without her looking back and even the times I attempt to talk to her as she looks away like I’m someone completely new to her who she wouldn’t even bother with about. I couldn’t help but observe all the little details she does whenever I see her in school and that just plainly leaves me an empty feeling of knowing each other a whole lot than anyone else could.

The usual graduation rehearsals went on and on, until the final day of the graduation came that I told myself I needed to clear some misunderstandings with her. Moreover, tell her that I need her and that we needed to step on that space between us and get back together completely. ‘Cool-offs’ just like the ‘space’ I declared to her a week ago always meant to me as if you only have ½ control over a relationship and that you couldn‘t even speak of your other half officially your girlfriend/boyfriend. In times of ‘spaces’ and ‘cool-offs’, it means to me as if you’re finding a replacement for your current boyfriend/girlfriend. The time you speak to each other again, ‘closure’ then comes in handy or not at all…’cause you could just step out of a relationship just like that considering that it isn’t even a case of commitment.

Immediately then, I reached out for my graduation suit to wear over my polo and slacks, ready for the graduation — ready to face the music.

--

[[She]]

The minute I step foot in the graduation venue, my eyes couldn’t help but look for the man who asked some space for our relationship a week ago. I was a bit late, yes. My mother was literally now pushing me as she asked the organizers as to where my sections position be. My father was, as usual, lurking around, roaming his eyes around the venue. Probably discriminating whatever minuscule detail he didn’t like about the event from the decorations, the stage, the students, their parents—Oh, you name it!

Minutes later, I could feel myself squeezed in between my two surnamed ‘B’ and ‘D’ classmates chit-chattering and talking probably about how nervous they are for this thing happening right before their very eyes. If I heard it correctly, one said that she flunked Math, yet she couldn’t believe she’s graduating. Oh, what a laugh. Yet at the same time, I’m pressured for I haven’t really caught a glimpse of him. We were in the same section, yes, but seeing so that our class is alphabetized and my surname starts with a ‘C’ and his with ‘W’, how easy could that get?

Minutes later yet again, with me not even aware of it, I pace up a staircase following forth ‘Bai’ girl. In a minute or so, I knew… I would have to get my graduation certificate and be handed my graduation cap.

--

[[He]]

I follow forth my view of her as I lined up right after ‘Wang’ and ‘Wong’. As she walked up the stage, I could feel like she was spacing out, still looking through the crowd, probably still looking for me as she was attempting to, a while back. I knew.

I watched her as she shook hands with the principal, with smiles on their faces. As she got her certificate for ‘magna laude‘, worn her graduation cap and bowed…she was still looking at the crowd. I was caught of guard, her gaze locking on me. We were eye-to-eye and I had to look away, because a teacher was already ushering her to the side, seeming as though Ella forgot to walk down the stage. Her eyes were full of seeming silence and hesitance. Hopeful. I just knew she wanted to talk to me, but the ‘hesitance’ ruins the whole thing.

--

[[She]]

I sighed a deep sigh of relief after everything had gone by. I walked through crowds, looking for my parents. I figured sooner that looking for Chun would mean a waste of time, remembering so that he looked away when finally, I’ve locked my gaze with him. If he really doesn’t want to see me or even catch a glimpse of me, then I wouldn’t want to force him to. Although, if he really decides on talking to me, I know he would do it in his own will so.

Just right now, I want to go home. I feel my eyes betraying me, closing in on me. I wanted to badly jump on my bed and go to a deep slumber wherein I’d never be awake to a rude awakening. But before I could fantasize of that right immediately that I found my parents, I felt a tap on my back. As I turned around, my gaze locked on in him. I wanted to turn away and run, I wanted to bow my head down, yet I only excused myself from my parents with a signal nod.

“We need to talk,” he whispered, grabbing frantically at my wrists now as we made way out of the big crowd. Applaud from everywhere could be heard. Relatives and parents of students were congratulating them for a job well done…for graduating, yet I could only care less.

“What is there to talk about?” I asked as I was in no concern of him at all.

“Me and you,” he started. “Us,” he finished, his facial expressions reading: agitated. He had on a frown, lines forming on his forehead, and I didn’t need to think twice as to why. He held out my hand then, squeezing it lightly. Seconds later, he pulled me to his chest, completely making me feel the beat of his heart.

Then I don’t know why, but as soon as he broke the hug, I gently his left cheek and gave him a smooch, saying, “I’ll see you around.”

Well, maybe.

--

[[No one‘s POV, a week after the graduation]]

“Chun,” someone called out. Thus, making Chun turn around at impulse. “If you’re looking for Ella, I came here to inform you that Ella contacted me just yesterday, saying that she couldn’t go to today’s last batch night.”

“So, she contacts you more than she contacts me now, huh, Selina?” Chun asked outrageously with a smirk, crossing his arms in the process so. “What more did she tell you? That she’s gone hiding from me? That she just went to another country to have a nice cup of tea?” he concluded, guessing even before Selina could say anything in response.

“Umm,” Selina started. “Actually, what you said is half true.”

“What about?” Chun asked.

“About her leaving,” Selina bitterly stated. “She didn’t actually want me to tell you, but she wanted to give you this,” and with that, Selina handed Chun a neatly wrapped bon bon.

“When did she leave? Has she left?” Chun asked, even more outrageous now as he hastily grabbed the package in Selina’s hands. He looked as if he wanted to throw it on the floor, hard, immediately, but maybe he figured that what his bound to open is another one of Ella’s creations that she’d probably cry at about if she finds out it’s broken or something. So, he managed to keep himself the least bit calm as he gripped on the package tightly, enough for it to break. But of course, it wouldn’t. Not that easily, though. After all, it’s made by Ella, who always had everything in high quality and in high definition. His girlfriend (technically, fiancée by now), who he didn’t know if he should call as ‘ex’ by now, knowing that she left the country without a word.

“You know Ella, Chun,” Selina then said. “She doesn’t decide solely for herself. She only obeys her parents. After all, one can’t change the fact as to whether or not your parent’s are in full control of your life, don’t care about you, or whatnot.”

“That’s the problem!” Chun exclaimed. “You see…she has this insane disease of being selfless. There was a time that she almost got sick, shivering cold out at the back of her house’s backyard just because she found out that her parents may divorce and all that and she was crying her heart out even if it wasn‘t one of her own and personal problems.”

“You’ve just got to understand as to where Ella’s views are coming from,” Selina sincerely said then, making her patience longer as possible, because she was heck pissed at Wu Chun’s immaturity. “You just have to look at both sides. Step on her shoes and see what you’ve got as your choices.”

“I know what to do,” Chun softly whispered, only that Selina still heard.

“What?” she asked in incredulity, thinking impossible of the fact that he could think swiftly like that.

“Isn’t it that one of your parents work for Taiwan’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs?” he asked back.

And as Selina nodded right at that time, she knew exactly what was up his sleeve.

--

Setting in LA made a lot of difference. She couldn’t quite believe that she was in LA herself, but it’s pretty much that the saying ‘Seeing is believing’ goes without saying so.

As she entered their fully-furnished living room, she could only heave a deep sigh as she landed comfortably on a couch and the ring band on her right hand while observing her surroundings. She was still thinking of him by this time, as rather bitter thoughts entered her mind. She wondered whether right at this point of time she had a replacement already. She wondered if by any chance, he knew already that she’s left for good. She wondered a lot of things and indeed asked herself quietly a million questions that she could only answer through confirming. And as her thoughts deepens, she hadn’t noticed it so that a familiar figure sat right next to her, eyeing her ring band on her middle right finger carefully.

Snapping her daughter out of the deep thought, she said, “Ella.” And much to her surprise, Ella quickly organized her thoughts out and stopped consciously her ring band. Her mother did notice as well that she was kind of hiding it. But much to Ella’s unfortunate fate, her mother has seen it not too long ago and was actually aiming for a time that she ask her daughter what it was all about, who it came from, and whether she got herself engaged the days she and Ella’s dad were away.

“Oh, mom, you’re here,” Ella nervously greeted and leaned back on the couch more comfortably, ever so carefully hiding her right hand and sliding it right under her legs so. Only her left hand now was visible, and it was making everything seem ever obvious.

“You don’t need to hide it anymore,” her mother then started. “I’ve seen it a couple of days ago, continuously asking myself also what’s it for. Don’t worry, I haven’t told your father anything.”

“Mom, I’m engaged,” Ella then admitted, much to her mom’s now confused expression building up.

“Since when and to whom?” her mother asked her, her tone of voice gradually louder this time.

“To someone I love,” she replied, gulping right after. And she thought right at that moment that maybe this is the right time to reveal everything. But then again, she knew that she was in LA right at the moment, and if everything doesn’t permit so, she has to live life knowing bitterly everything she’s left behind back in Taipei. “And since last December,” she completed.

“Why don’t I know of this?” her mother asked out of pure curiosity.

“Because you and dad rarely even care!” Ella exclaimed, with much frustration so. She looked at her mother, mouth opened agape. She looked like she wanted to retaliate in a yell, yet she, too, looked like she was thinking it through and processing out whatever Ella had to say and why she had used that tone to talk to her own mother.

“So, what are you planning to do?” her mother now asked, biting at her lower lip, completely more calm compared to the last time Ella looked at her.

“I don’t know,” Ella gasped, looking really empty as she stared down the tiled floors in seconds amusement. Just like how she looked when she didn’t know what to do at times. “But I sure am not living here for good, that’s for sure,” she added, completely decided.

“Your father?” her mother asked for the fourth time today.

“You tell him,” Ella said softly, pressing her lips together just right after saying the phrase.

“How long are you planning to stay here?” her mother asked again, getting Ella thinking yet again.

“For a month,” she said then, jumping up from where she was seated at the time.

“And there?”

“Forever after my stay here…”

--

06142010
Philippines
1:00 PM