They were at the cinema and Kyungsoo dragged Jongdae to the bathroom looking them in and kissing him hungrily. Jongdae didn’t reason but he sure was taken aback by this behavior which was unusual for Kyungsoo, he didn’t complain thought.

Jongdae slept with Kyungsoo too many times but only slept. They would hug each other and fall asleep, Jongdae occasionally telling stories to Kyungsoo like he was a child when Kyungsoo was afraid and crying for reason Jongdae didn’t know.

Years passed by and they graduated from university Jongin too, apparently he worked his out and was able to pass all of the courses.

No one could believe how they were now 22 to 23 years old. They held a graduation party where Jongin and Jinah ed. Jinah knew something was off and she wasn’t surprised when she woke up in an empty apartment to a post it note saying “I’m sorry. Goodbye”.

She felt a bit sad but she knew this was the best for Jongin. She kept every good memory of him in her heart. Since that day no one saw Jongin again.

Tiffany actually lived two years more than expected. Doctor said it was because she had a happy life. They all went to her funeral. They even think they took a glance of Jongin there but they weren’t sure enough if he was the tanned boy or not. Jinah knew it was him. Minseok didn’t shed a tear that day he couldn’t be sad because he gave Tiffany life.

He actually made her alive and he gave her two more years, wish he could give her more though. But Minseok knew that if he stayed there memories of them would break him like knife though flesh and so he left, but not without taking Tiffany’s favorite things with him.

Minseok, later they learned, made a small family like Tiffany made him promise her but he never loved anyone like he loved her. He had two children. The girl was named Tiffany.

Kyuhyun went back to Sungmin one night crying and Sungmin was still too in love with him to push him away so he took him in.

 Jinah went to the States with Jungah and Jooyeon, it was always Jooyeon ’s dream to go there. Jinah found some guy named Aaron there, two years younger. Everyone thought that Aaron should love her too much to put up with her.

Eyoung and Yixing tried to live together. They would travel from Korea to China and back because of Yixing ’s job but Eyoung didn’t care.

Sehun and Luhan went to Netherlands and got married. They returned to Korea after their honeymoon at the Caribbean islands. They adopted a little girl named her Haneul, because more than the sea Luhan loved the sky. Luhan never went back to China and Sehun never went back to his parents. It would be only them until the end.
Chanyeol and Beakhyun went to Europe. Beakhyun loved the life in Italy when he went with his parents and so they went to live there.

Kyungsoo stayed a little more with Jongdae before he went back to England. He stayed with Jongdae until he reached his twenty five years.

One day Kyungsoo was walking through the corridors when he bumped on a boy around 10 years or so. He was crying hard. Kyungsoo lowered himself and asked the boy what’s his name and where he live. The boy answered him his name was Kwon Ren and he lived in the 4th floor with his mother named Park Sandara, but apparently she wasn’t home and he couldn’t get in. Kyungsoo waited with the boy until the evening that his mother returned from work.

They played games and he told stories about people in different situations, stories that weren’t all that fiction. When his mother, returned she ran to her little boy and hugged him. She thanked Kyungsoo for staying with her Ren and she introduced herself.

She took Kyungsoo to her house for a piece of lemon pie and she apologized to both for locking Ren out and having Kyungsoo taken away from his work to look after him but Kyungsoo told her he didn’t care and that he liked Ren ’s company and he could babysit him if that made her feel better. Sandara agreed but with a condition he would pay him. She told Kyungsoo that now he husband left she had a lot more work to do and too little time.

Kyungsoo understood completely Jongdae and Kyungsoo have moved together but they still weren’t a couple. They would often babysit Ren it was fun more for Kyungsoo than Jongdae.

It was a winter night and Ren was asleep at their bedroom, Sandara called and told them that she couldn’t come back tonight because streets were closed due to the heavy snow and that she would try to come tomorrow she also told them that schools were closed too so they could let Ren sleep as much as he likes.

They sat on the sofa watching Kyungsoo ’s favorite drama, hugging each other and drinking hot chocolate. Jongdae still hadn’t smoke since Kyungsoo asked him to stop. They were hugging Jongdae ’s chin resting on Kyungsoo ’s neck. Unspoken words hanging all over them falling to the ground and break like crystal to millions of pieces making it unbearable to stay. At one point Kyungsoo couldn’t even take his breath.

He kissed Jongdae good night and went to their bed to sleep with Ren so the boy wouldn’t feel alone. Jongdae was tempted to light a cigarette but he choose better than this so he laid on the sofa waiting for  sleep to take over.

There would come times when they were suffocated by words, feeling they wanted to voice “I love you”s , “I need you”s, “Be with me” , Be my lover”, “Stay with me until the end of the world” Words that kept being unspoken. No one knows why they never voiced them, maybe they thought that what they had was more than words, maybe that words are meaningless and forgettable, maybe that eyes were enough to speak and voice wasn’t needed.

But no one know why they kept no voicing those words when they felt like they couldn’t take it anymore.

They never once fight. Kyungsoo would occasionally cry himself to sleep with silent tears and sobs, or lock himself in the bathroom for hours crying his heart out and Jongdae staying outside feeling his heart surrounded by dark clouds.

But they had happy times too which were the most. They did would go for dinner, have special celebrations. They even went with Sandara and Ren at the amusement park.

Kyungsoo turned 25 and he knew it was time for him to move on. Jongdae knew too but he kept it to himself. He beard with the pain and never said a word.

Their relationship never changed a bit until the day before his departure. Kyungsoo actually plead for Jongdae to make love to him and so Jongdae complied and they ed and this time Kyungsoo was conscious.

It wasn’t kind, sweet or tender like the last time. It was wild and hard. Like two animals want to rip apart each other but that was the perfection in it. Jongdae had Kyungsoo against the wall, back arching,  legs wrapped around his waist, head falling back.

Fingernails digging to Kyungsoo ’s hips, leaving marks, traces of blood, marking him as his while he ed into him. Pressed teeth into Jongdae ’s flesh, , biting at his neck, wanting desperate to leave something there a sign, a mark anything that would be a reminded of that night.

Breaths hitching, coming out in hard, eyes unfocused, eyesight turning white, sweat running down from every part of their bodies, hands travel everywhere, pushing, scratching, biting. The sound of flesh on flesh illuminating everything.  

Kyungsoo was holding on Jongdae for dear life. They ed everywhere around the house. The shower, the kitchen, the living room, the bed. Voices, moans and orders of “Don’t stop”, ”Harder, faster”, “ me to oblivion” and “I want us to remember this night forever” blended together and melted into a pile of mess, spread , pleasure and sweat and Jongdae found the bed empty in the morning heart aching and breaking to millions of pieces for words he didn’t say, words that left unspoken. For everything they could be and for everything they never became.

Jongdae start smoking again. Losing himself in the cigarettes, watching the smoke take shapes that artistically reminded him of Kyungsoo. Time was slipping through his hands like sand in an hourglass and Jongdae couldn’t remember when was the last time he actually felt happy.

Everything was melting together in an artistic way, how artists use colours, how white blends with red and they create a perfect shade of pink. Like this everything was melting and blending together in a perfect shade of mess.
Years passed by in a blink of an eye, Jongdae grew up he was thirty now. He was still living in the same apartment. Everyone has moved out and moved on even Sandara and Ren.

  He never heard of Kyungsoo again like universe swallowed him whole. That was until he found a letter to his mail box.

   Jongdae, I’m getting married. I know we haven’t talk for about five years or so but I would like for you to attend my wedding.
                                        -Kyungsoo.

Jongdae felt his heart being piercing by millions of little blades that looked like beautiful sakura leaves. It was exactly like Kyungsoo beautiful outside, deadly inside.
But Jongdae went to Kyungsoo ’s wedding. Everyone was there. Everyone, even Jongin, who Jongdae learned, never loved anyone like Kyungsoo, funny thing to know he felt the same.

But said Jongin, loved someone maybe not as much as Kyungsoo but that person sure had a place in his heart all those years. Jongdae understood when Jongin broke on the sight of Jinah and so did she. Jinah knew he couldn’t offer her much but she stayed with him either way.

Jongdae saw Sehun and Luhan ’s little girl Haneul, she was eight years, a beautiful little girl with big doe eyes that resemble Luhan ’s dressed in a pure white cute dress with a ribbon around her waist and a huge one above her head, Jongdae was sure this was Luhan ’s doing.

 Jungah and Jooyeon were there too with a fifteen years old, tall, blond boy, who seemed to have be most boring time of his life, named Junhong , Zelo he corrected them and Jungah gave him a glare so he shut it. They were dressed in beautiful dresses, Jooyeon had a red one going right up his knees and Jungah a blue one all the way down to her long legs with a, a little too big for Jooyeon ’s comfort, cut that revealed almost all her left leg. They said they found Junhong when he was twelve at the streets and so they took him in, actually is Jinah ’s little brother since they are a family now.

Minseok with his family were there too. Minseok was holding little Tiffany to his arms. Jongdae thought he’ll never forget her.

The small family was there too. Sandara, with her Ren who was now a grown up boy, fifteen to sixteen years old. She had a new husband named Donghae who seemed to love them too much. Ren actually tried hard to talk to Junhong throughout the night with many failures.

Of course the duo Beakhyun – Chanyeol couldn’t miss the day. Elegant dressed they were there being their usual selves. Chanyeol had straightened hair in which Beakhyun had him do it because he said he looked more serious and appealing to celebrations like this.

Eyoung and Yixing were there too. There was a ring on Eyoung ’s finger and it didn’t take a genius to understand that they were engaged. Looking all happy not a day had pass from Eyoung still wearing a cute little dress making her look like princess and Yixing still had his dimple and was dressed in a black costume.

And finally Jongdae saw him, standing there being totally stunning, his hair were pitch black and were a bit longer, styled up and still had that smile on that could set any heart on fire, standing near a petite lady, with a beautiful wedding dress, blond hair, blue eyes, having a tiara on her hair and some white flowers, looking like princess. Jongdae thought she should be pure English girl, he wasn’t wrong.

Kyungsoo and his wife stepped near him. They greeted each other and made eye contact. Kyungsoo ’s eyes, Jongdae wasn’t sure if they said anything. On the other hand his eyes spoke words of pain and happiness for him at the same time. Jongdae congratulated him.

Three years had pass and Jongdae was sitting at his sofa pretending to watch at a silly show on television when he heard a knock at his door. He thought about not answering but he did anyway and the sight that came to his view left him breathless.

Kyungsoo was standing there with two suitcases looking at him, eyes twinkle with anticipations. Jongdae moved aside and Kyungsoo passed through him and into the apartment.

No words were voiced because at a time like this words were trully meaningless. They sat at the sofa, the way they used to, Kyungsoo  in between Jongdae ’s legs and Jongdae hugged him the tightest he ever did. Words still hanged there between them but Jongdae thought they could find a way to voice them sooner or later.

It didn’t take a genius to understand that Kyungsoo ’s marriage didn’t last more than two years because his heart was taking by that Jongdae guy he met on a rainy day.
They kept sitting there for the rest of the day watching at nothing in particular and saying nothing at all until Jongdae broke the silence.

“You know. I think that I maybe love you” was all Jongdae said, it was awkward and shy and all kinds of weird but they didn’t need anything more to understand that there wasn’t a maybe and that was this a statement.

Jongdae opened a new page at their book a page where they could actually voice their feelings. Kyungsoo was happier than ever because now they could actually make a real relationship and make it work.

All they needed was someone to gather courage and make a start.