CL told me about how he was never going to leave her side. I didn't want to her that, not at all. I went to my room after she finished talking. I felt my phone vibrate, it was Seung Hyun. 'Meet me on the roof in ten?'

I got my coat on, and headed out to the elevator. My dark green coat was so warm, but all I felt was a freezing bitterness. I walked out and the cool midnight air hit me. I saw a small smoke coming off a lit cigarette. I sat by the dark figure, I couldn't look him in the eye.

'Smoking will kill you,' I heard a light hearted chuckle.

'Then I should be dead right now instead of with you.' He put the cigarette on the snow covered floor and the cigarette went out. 'She told me, that leaving her will hurt her.' I coughed, and looked out at the fence that surrounded the roof top. 'I don't understand her. I know, I can tell she wants Jiyong.' I looked at him with wide eyes, he got up and walked to the fence and looked out at the brightly lit city. I followed. 'It's like a six sense. I just don't want her to be with me and want the father. I want my own family. Not one with another child not mine. Like I love the baby, even though it's not born, nor is it mine.'

I leaned my head up against the fence, and let my hair down to see if that will get me a little warmer.

'It's just, I know she will leave for the father, all my other friends have been through it when they get with a girl who has a child. I loved her for so long yet, I was to late.' I looked up, he puts all this trust and honesty on my shoulders and has since we were in high school together. Freshman year when we met.

'Do you remember? How we met.' I started to walk to the other side, where you could see a sea port city.

'Yeah, freshman year right?'

'Yupp, I remember moving to Korea, and knowing mostly English. Everyone would make fun of me when I talked, but you knew English too.' I smiled at the ocean then turned around and walked towards Seung Hyun. 'I was so scared to talk to you, yet I wanted to so bad. I remember feeling alone until you spoke in English explaining the problem.' 

He looked confused. I smiled and shook my head. 'What I'm saying is..' walking back to the ocean. 'It may seem scary, but instead of hiding it with me, tell her.' I covered that nicely, ugh.

'Yeah, but she is fragile.'

'Set her and Ji Yong on a date?' That sounded impulsive. I held onto the chain link fence, shaking. I felt arms encircle my waist.

'You cold?' I shook my head and lowered it. I turned around and put my head on his shoulder. 'I'm sorry to call you out so late. I'll walk you inside.'

'Okay.' We walked down the set of stairs and went towards the elevator. Just as we got to the door my words, sore and weak finally escaped my lips. 'Seung Hyun, I don't mean to bother you but. But I'm in love with you. You don't need to consider me. I know I'm nothing special, but yeah. I've been holding those words in for almost ten years now. Good night, Oppa.' I walked into my apartment and left to my room.

It's not comforting,

falling asleep because you are tired of crying.