Hii, and thank you so much for clicking in n_n! I’ve been longing to write a EunHae fiction for a long time now, there’s just something I find really special and amusing with the two. And also, I decided that if I’m go’nna write a fanfiction, it should be a good one. So, I will try my very hardest to please you all with regular updates, love, drama, tears and embraces and tons of surprises! :3 , ke ke kee~~ 

[A/N]: Consider this fanfiction as a book. I plan this story to be very ~~loong, that’s why. Also, it is to interest young readers, to inspire them to pick up more books and start reading them more often.

~*Teaser*~

Hyukjae’s POV

Everything went quiet in an instant. And the silence was louder than ever. Eight pair of eyes stared at us fearfully, while the remaining was staring at me with a furious glare. I was afraid. Everyone was afraid. They all knew this wasn’t just a normal, unimportant quarrel, ‘cause no one had seen Heechul so pissed off before.

“Take that back,” He hissed through clenched teeth, his eyes staring at me even more dangerously, like he was going to murder me, “And stop this ing childishness,”

I knew what I was doing. I knew Heechul had every reason to piss off. Who was I to speak to my hyung that way? But I didn’t care. Anger heated my entire body up. I was the boss of me. I would not be ordered around by the other Super Junior member, hyungs or dongsaengs. I just would not.

“I won’t,” I replied just as coldly, “And stop this ing harassing,”. And that did it. Sungmin burst to tears, while the remaining seven stared at me, unexplainable expressions written all over their faces. Heechul couldn’t hide his surprise. No one had responded that way to Heechul, ever before, and I knew he wasn’t going to take it sitting down.

“I’m going to pretend for your sake that I didn’t hear that, Lee Hyukjae,” He started his threat, and I could see he was clearly giving an effort to compose himself, “Because it seems like I’m the only one of us that dares to give a thought about the rest of Super Junior, and how this affects them.” He spoke with majority. I looked down, biting down the tears. Of course I thought about the other members, and how painful it must be for them to see me continiously causing trouble within the group. But if only they knew the pain I struggled with. I felt misery. I walked around, feeling constantly hopeless. I knew I was nothing but a burden to the rest of them.

“That’s not true,” I replied, my voice a tiniest bit huskier than what I’d used before. I looked back up.

“You bet it is. Take a look around. Can you remember when all of us managed to get through a day without quarrels? We don’t stand a chance anymore. And the brawls always involve you, Lee Hyukjae, always.”

I knew he was right. It was my fault. Everything was my fault. How could he be so blind? How can’t they understand that I agree with them? Everything is my fault.

“It never had to turn into a quarrel, if you could just leave me alone for a bit, give me some ing space to breathe,” I spoke with furiosity.

Donghae rose from his seat, and without looking back or at any of the other members, he walked in a rapid pace to the door, and slammed it shut behind him. My heart tore seing him like this. If any of the other members had done so, I probably wouldn’t have considered it a second chance.

But Donghae was a different story. Anything Donghae did hurt me. He’s the only reason I’m doing this, anyway.

“There’s no chance in hell that we’re leaving you alone when we all see what condition you’re in. Do you think we’re made of stone? Do you consider us that careless? That ignorant?”

“I don’t consider you careless. I wished you’d be careless. That’s the only thing I need. I’m not a child, Heechul, I can look after my own skin,” I hissed the last word, running out breath from all the harsh shouting.

“Obviously you can’t,” Heechul said, and his voice surprised me. It was not shouting, was not screaming, it was more as if he was talking to himself. I felt worse than ever. I turned around, heading to my room so I wouldn’t collapse in front of the other members. But before I reached my room, I turned at the dinner table, which had been the object to start this brawl.

“And that,” I started, “You won’t even force in me with a baseball bat. There’s no way in hell that that’s going through my digestive system. No offence, Ryeowook,” And then I slammed the door shut behind me. I could hear the shock from the other members, I could hear tears, and heavy breathing. I tried to block it all out. I couldn’t let it affect me. I walked up to the full length mirror, staring at my reflection, like I needed a reminder to why I’m doing this. Why I don’t eat. And I saw it.

Heartbroken, I traced my fingers across my waist, while staring in disgust. It was revolting. Here I was, an idol, dancer and rapper of Super Junior, and obese?

[I have no intentions of upsetting potential over-weight readers! I have absolutely nothing against it, I find it adorable! Please bear with me, the reason I’m making Hyukjae look at it as such a bad thing is because, obviously, Hyukjae suffers in this story. He doesn’t see what we see. Please don’t be offended<3]

I groaned. Of course I had no real fans. It wasn’t possible. No one loved a one like me. They only pretend because I’m a part of the oh-so-famous Super Junior.

I jumped in shock as I heard a careful knock on the door. “Hyung?” A voice called. Siwon. Of course, the hero Siwon would come. But I knew the jesus-lover only had good intentions. “Can I please come in?” I sat down on the bed, my back towards the door, and mumbled a “sure,” without much excitement. I hear the door slowly opening, before It was shut just as silently. Siwon walked up to me and sat down beside me, but still giving me my personal space. I exhaled, staring at the floor, struggeling to keep my tears in check.

“Are you okay?” Siwon asked. I knew that wasn’t really what he’d wanted to say, but it was a way of starting a conversation. I knew he didn’t need a reply, he already saw that I wasn’t.

“Listen. None of us wanted Heechul hyung to act so harsh and defensive. It scared all of us. But you have to remember that Heechul isn’t really mad. It’s just his way of caring. He’s the second oldest, he feels he has to take care of all of us, and he is, just like us, terrified when one of the members turn out to be in a very critical condition,” Siwon spoke each word with sympathy and apology, his soft, yet protective voice making him sound more like a big brother than a dongsaeng to me. He was so strong. So pure, so innocent.

“He cares so much for you, hyung. We all do. We wouldn’t react if we didn’t.” A tear ran down my cheek, and I knew I couldn’t hold them inside any longer. I wasn’t nearly as strong as Siwon. How much I envied him that.

“You shouldn’t react. You shouldn’t care so much,” I protested. Siwon exhaled beside me, his brows furrowing to a worried expression, yet so soft and understanding.

“I can understand how you can look at that as a disadvantage. But for that, we can only apologize. We all love you, hyung, no matter what,” One of his hands gently comforted my arm, before he let it drop. Another tear fell as I heard his words. I shook my head. They didn’t all love me. There was one of them who didn’t.

The one person I wished would love me was the one who absolutely didn’t.

“Look at Sungmin. He can’t stand it. Heechul and Eeteuk are discussing in the kitchen. Yesung is busy trying to comfort Ryeowook, since he feels such guilt and shame for bringing you pain. Kyuhyun and Shindong are only staring blankly in the air, neither of them saying anything. And Donghae is not returning,”

My heart ached as he mentioned Donghae. Donghae was the reason. He didn’t even love me, and the only reason he left was because he couldn’t stand me. I knew it.

“You really took a toll on Donghae. We don’t see Donghae smiling anymore. And I think you really, really hurt him, hyung. Donghae cares more for you than anyone’s willing to believe,” Siwon still spoke with his soothing, comforting voice. I couldn’t believe my own ears. Donghae cares for me? What a joke.

“Donghae doesn’t care for me,” I disagreed, my voice breaking because of the tears trailing down my cheeks. I could hear Siwon’s sigh of despair. Instead of arguing with me, Siwon gave me a hug in his tight embrace, and rose from the bed, understanding my craving for being alone. But I could still hear the almost-silent “He does,” before he smiled a sad smile at me, and closed the door. I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. I rose from the bed aswell, and walked up to the mirror, again greeted by that repulsive reflection of my body. I pinched my waist.

This, I thought to myself,

This is the reason why Donghae doesn’t love me.

~*~

So there you go! If you found the teaser interesting, please proceed to the next page to begin the book! [Emoticon] And please comment and subscribe so I’m motivated to continue (;

Disclaimer:

**This story is purely fictional, but it might contain happenings that have previously happened. Pictures or other external links will be provided with a referencing http [if needed]. Pictures used to create the Header are all borrowed from Google, and I do not own them. Still, I have a Copyright on the final piece.

[A/N]: I have a copyright supported by AFF on both the Header and the actual story Wicked Loveable. Disrespect and abuse of copyright law will lead to consequences.

Thank you for reading! ^__^ I hope this story interests and inspires you enough to click the ‘next’ button! ~*Love you all*~ --Gwii^__^

And by the way; you guys are awesome!