~*Hyukjae’s POV*~

Please listen to song “Baby Girl Awakenings- Rob Costlow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDkDM391PfM”

My hands were shaking, my breath was uneven and my eyes were aching from all the crying when I dug out my phone and dialed the number. I cleared my throat as I pressed it against my ear, getting my voice ready to talk. I couldn’t reveal what condition I was in.

“Hello?”The soft voice from the other end was happy and calm. It made me want to break out crying again.

“Hyung?” I replied. My voice was weak and hoarse. I cleared my throat again. I had to do better than this.

“Hyukjae! Hi! How are things in Hawaii? What have you been up to so far? Have you done anything interes-”
“I’m on my way home, hyung. I’m on the plane now.” My voice was dead and sad. Anyone could hear it. Sungmin as well.

“What?”He was immediately concerned.
“I’m coming home, Sungmin.”

“…,” There was a hesitation on the other end.
“What? No, why? Why are you coming home now, Hyukkie?”

I wiped my eyes, and controlled my breath. I couldn’t lose it now.
“I don’t want to explain it. I just thought to let you know.”
“…,” Another hesitation. “Okay. We can talk about it later. What do you guys want to do when you come home?” His voice was a little bit more cheerful again. I inhaled, calming myself down as the tears pushed on.

“I’m coming alone, hyung,” I said while I exhaled slowly. I didn’t want to be reminded of it. Of the look on Donghae’s face.

“Lee Hyukjae, are you OK?”Sungmin’s voice was worried and upset. I rolled my eyes.
“I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll be home at around two in the evening” I put pressure on the final words so he got the hint that I wasn’t in the mood for conversation.

“Okay, I’ll see you then,”Sungmin sighed.
“I’m sorry, hyung,” I said. My voice was shaking. Why the hell was I so weak? “Goodbye,”

“Take care, Hyukjae,” He said before I hung up and closed my eyes. I wanted to sleep through my entire life, not having to see or think about Donghae ever again.

Because he ruined me.

*

~*Donghae’s POV*~

“,” I swore as my cell phone started beeping. My hands were full with luggage, and I was rushing to find when the next plane to Seoul would take off.

“Hello?” I answered with a pissed of tone, not bothering to see who called.
“Donghae? What’s going on?” Siwon asked from the other end, his voice caring. He calmed me down a bit. Somehow, Siwon always remained calm, no matter how worried or concerned he was.

“Oh, hi Siwon,” I greeted in a more polite tone. Siwon didn’t deserve to be treated like just because I felt like . The only one deserving to be treated badly was me. I was the one who’d made a big mistake here.

“Why is Sungmin hyung telling worriedly that Hyukjae is on his way home?” Siwon asked. His voice was soft, calm, like he wasn’t mad at me at all. I didn’t deserve this level of politeness, no matter if I was his hyung or not.
“It’s a complicated story, Siwon, I can’t explain it right now. I’m on my way home as well,” my voice broke, and I found myself crying. Again.

“Hyung? Are you all right?” Siwon asked in concern when he heard my reply. He could hear I was crying. I wiped away my tears and shook my head uncontrollably.

“I’m not all right. Nothing is all right,” I whispered. I pushed my way through the people who were in the way, searching for the board that listed the entire take-off routine. I groaned as I saw the next takeoff wouldn’t be until 4 p.m., meaning that I would be home around 6 a.m. tomorrow.

“What happened, hyung? What made your vacation turn into this?”Siwon asked with a voice that made me burst into tears. I didn’t care who might be watching. I only cared about Hyukjae, the boy I’d hurt so much. He would never forgive me, and we would never be best friends again. I didn’t want us to. I wanted Hyukkie to be mine and mine forever. And now he would never be.

“I’m a fool,” I sobbed, “I’m a mess. I don’t even recognize myself. I hurt my best friend, and he won’t forgive me! We’ll never reunite as best friends again,” I mumbled, walking up to the reception to order a flight ticket home.

“What do you mean you won’t reunite as friends? Of course you will! All friendships have their quarrels, but if they’re true they’ll find some way to fix themselves up.” Siwonspoke with honesty and confidence, still keeping his calm, soothing tone he was so good at. I ordered the plane ticket, the lady smiling at me with worry as she could see I had been crying. Good thing she couldn’t comprehend Korean. That made things a little bit more private, something I appreciated. I stepped away from the desk and walked over to the seats. I had no plans on doing anything but wait for the airport until it was 4 p.m., even though it was only two a.m. currently. I had nothing to do other than to wait.

“No,” I sobbed, “No we won’t, and neither do I want us to be,” I whispered.

“Oh,” Siwon said from the other end, understanding. “I’m so sorry, Donghae,” He comforted me. Siwon was definitely not stupid. I hadn’t even told him directly, and he still understood what I meant when I said I didn’t want us to be friends.

“It’s not your problem,” I replied, torn, my heart bleeding after being reminded. There’s nothing I wanted more in the world than to have Hyukjae in my arms. And I would never get him.

“It’s no one’s problem, hyung,”Siwon protested, sighing. “Even though it feels like it for you now, it’s not a problem to fall in love with someone,”

“It is! It is definitely a huge problem that I’ve fallen in love with Hyukjae!” I shouted at him. A few heads turned, but I ignored them. They didn’t understand a word anyway. They could just continue living their perfect happy lives. I truly didn’t give a .

“Donghae…” Siwon said, his voice soothing, trying to calm me down. “No one wants you to worry, so don’t. It’s not easy, but it’s not a fault. Be honest to yourself,” I cried unhappily as I heard him speak, and I let him say whatever he needed to me.

“And come home safely. Don’t travel anywhere else. We can talk when you’re ready,”Ismiled as I admired Siwon’s pure heart, always caring for you, always ready to catch you no matter if you’re his hyung or dongsaeng. I nodded in agreement.

“Will you promise me that you’ll come home directly?”Siwon asked. Anything.
“I promise. Thank you so much, Siwon,”

“Don’t thank me, hyung. Focus on making yourself happy,”Siwon said. I smiled again, tears falling. We said goodbye before we hung up on each other.

There was only one thing that could make me happy.

Only Hyukjae could make me happy.

*

Time: 2:30 p.m.

~*Hyukjae’s POV*~

My heart was beating nervously as I opened the door to Super Junior’s dormitory. I knew they were all waiting for me, everyone curious of what was going on, everyone worried. What should I say to them? Would they ask?

Eeteuk appeared from the corner.
“Hello, Hyukjae,” he said with a concerned smile. I couldn’t smile back. I had completely lost the ability.

“Good evening, hyung,” I spoke in a formal manner, something I rarely did. I didn’t want to speak in the casual way with them anymore. I needed space; I needed privacy so I could drain my soul. Heechul entered as well, coming up from behind Eeteuk.

“Hyukjae?”
“Hyung,” I greeted back, no emotion in my voice. We just stood there, none of us saying anything. They both looked at me worriedly. I kept my tears down, and composed a cold, distant face. But on the inside, I felt like old concrete ready to crumble.

And then Kyuhyun showed up.

“Hyung!”
“Kyuhyun,” I nodded.
“Where’s Donghae?”

And that’s all it took for me to completely lose it. My heart ached. I stared at him like I was going to kill him. Hastily, I walked straight past them, crashing into Eeteuk’s and Kyuhyun’s shoulder in the process. I didn’t look back, I didn’t excuse myself. I just went straight to my room and closed the door loudly behind me. I crushed my face against the pillow, soaking it with my tears.

I had already forgiven Donghae. I knew it wasn’t his fault. He could kiss whomever he wanted to. I was just being evil, selfish and dominant, because I thought he belonged to me. He doesn’t. I know that. I’m not mad at Donghae, I’m mad at myself, since I don’t have him. Because I’m evil. And he doesn’t love me.

And I loved him so much it felt like the whole world would break down whenever someone mentioned him. My entire soul was about Donghae. I lived for him.

From the outside, I could hear a conversation. I tried my best to tune it out, but that only made me hear it twice as well.

“What the hell, Kyuhyun? Don’t you understand that you have to shut. the. . up sometimes?” Heechul was angry as he scolded the maknae.

“I, I had no idea, hyung, I… I’m sorry,” Kyuhyun apologized. His voice was scared and sad. Of course. Who wouldn’t be scared of Heechul when he was upset?

“You knew that he was coming home alone. Isn’t that a hint enough for you? Do you think they’d be on different planes if nothing was wrong?” Heechul continued telling the younger boy off. I cried harder, but silently. No sounds escaped my lips.

“Heechul,” Eeteuk said, “You can see that he’s sorry. There’s nothing more to do about that now,”

“I don’t care. You saw how upset Hyukkie got. And that was just when we mentioned Donghae. What happens when he comes home tomorrow?” Heechul’s tone was a little bit too rude on his hyung. But Eeteuk said nothing about it. No one ever did. We all knew Heechul didn’t mean it as an insult, but it was his way of caring.

Donghae was coming home tomorrow? Why? He still had vacation for one and a half week!

“Heechul, we all worry. We’re all afraid of what this means, both for Hyukjae and Donghae and Super Junior. Kyuhyun meant nothing about it. He just forgot his words.”

A grumble escaped Heechul’s lips, but he said nothing more about it. Everything went quiet. And I didn’t want to hear anymore anyway, so I just tuned out

*

It just hit me that I haven’t eaten for two days. I woke up very early the next morning, and went straight to the bathroom where we had our weight scale. I prayed that it had at least gone down by a kg, something to show me that a change was coming. Closing my eyes, I stepped on the scale, and opened them.

I had gone down two kg. I sighed, unsatisfied. Even though it’s a good sign of change, it’s still not close to my goal. I tucked the scale under the bench again before stepping out of the bathroom. I heard the main door unlock, and in came the man I wished really hadn’t.

“Hyukjae?”
“Donghae, don’t worry about it.” I answered his question before he had time to say anything.
“Please let me explain it,” Donghae said, and the desperate tone of his voice made me look up at him. His eyes were teared. Oh no. It didn’t suit him to be sad at all, I didn’t like it one bit.

“You don’t need to explain it, Hae. I’m not mad,” I know it would have worked if I’d smiled with it, but I had a hard time doing anything while staring at his face.

“I am.” Donghae whispered, before looking down. A lonely tear ran down his face. My impulses urged me to sprint over to him, to wipe his tear away and fold my arms around him. But I couldn’t. I knew that.

“You shouldn’t be. It’s really not up to me anyway, if you like her, you should be able to do whatever you want with her,” I said, maintaining a calm voice so it didn’t show how much it hurt me to say what I did.

He looked at me like I’d just spoken pig Latin.

“What? No, Hyukkie, that’s what I want to explain! Things were nothing like the way it looked!” He exclaimed. Tears kept trailing down his gorgeous facial features. I absolutely hated the look of it.

“You don’t have to explain anything, Donghae.”
“Yes I do, because you’re left with the wrong impression!” His tone raised, and he took a step closer.

“And what does that mean to you, anyway?” I shouted back, failing to keep my calm posture.

“Why does what I think concern you?” I turned around and slammed the door to my room shut behind me, not giving him time to answer.

*

~*Narrator’s POV*~

Days went by without Donghae and Hyukjae speaking to each other, until it turned into weeks. Heechul was constantly arguing with Hyukjae, and the rest of Super Junior watched Hyukjae grow weaker and colder every day. His weight had dropped by a mile. He never smiled.

            But no one was as afraid as Donghae was. When you have a burning love to someone, and you watch them weaken as fast as Hyukjae did, you feel like it’s the only thing you can think about. Donghae walked around with a constant worry, afraid to do anything to make things worse, but all his impulses told him to fix things, to fix everything.

He didn’t smile much either. The once so happy Donghae had changed to the worse.

And anyone could see where this was heading. Everyone could see what would happen if this pattern continued.

They were all wondering what day would be Hyukjae’s last.

*

~*Hyukjae’s POV*~

We were all sitting at the dinner table, eating [correction; them eating while I just stared at my plate with a dumb fold expression] when everything snapped yet again. Heechul had had enough.

“Lee Hyukjae,” He said, his voice cold and as a command. I looked up at him, but didn’t reply.
“You have to eat. So stop being childish and just do it.” All the other members looked down, not wanting to say anything to make this turn into a brawl. But I was already angry.

“Kim Heechul,” I replied, rising from my seat, staring him down,

“You have to shut up. So stop acting like my ing father, and just do it.”

!

Everything went quiet in an instant. And the silence was louder than ever. Eight pair of eyes stared at us fearfully, while the remaining was staring at me with a furious glare. I was afraid. Everyone was afraid. They all knew this wasn’t just a normal, unimportant quarrel, ‘cause no one had seen Heechul so pissed off before.

“Take that back,” He hissed through clenched teeth, his eyes staring at me even more dangerously, like he was going to murder me, “And stop this ing childishness,”

I knew what I was doing. I knew Heechul had every reason to piss off. Who was I to speak to my hyung that way? But I didn’t care. Anger heated my entire body up. I was the boss of me. I would not be ordered around by the other Super Junior member, hyungs or dongsaengs. I just would not.

“I won’t,” I replied just as coldly, “And stop this ing harassing,” And that did it. Sungmin burst to tears, while the remaining seven stared at me, unexplainable expressions written all over their faces. Heechul couldn’t hide his surprise. No one had responded that way to Heechul, ever before, and I knew he wasn’t going to take it sitting down.

“I’m going to pretend for your sake that I didn’t hear that, Lee Hyukjae,” He started his threat, and I could see he was clearly giving an effort to compose himself, “Because it seems like I’m the only one of us that dares to give a thought about the rest of Super Junior, and how this affects them.” He spoke with majority. I looked down, biting down the tears. Of course I thought about the other members, and how painful it must be for them to see me continuously causing trouble within the group. But if only they knew the pain I struggled with. I felt misery. I walked around, feeling constantly hopeless. I knew I was nothing but a burden to the rest of them.

“That’s not true,” I replied, my voice a tiniest bit huskier than what I’d used before. I looked back up.

“You bet it is. Take a look around. Can you remember when all of us managed to get through a day without quarrels? We don’t stand a chance anymore. And the brawls always involve you, Lee Hyukjae, always.”

I knew he was right. It was my fault. Everything was my fault. How could he be so blind? How can’t they understand that I agree with them? Everything is my fault.

“It never had to turn into a quarrel, if you could just leave me alone for a bit, give me some ing space to breathe,” I spoke with a furious voice.

Donghae rose from his seat, and without looking back or at any of the other members, he walked in a rapid pace to the door, and slammed it shut behind him. My heart tore seeing him like this. If any of the other members had done so, I probably wouldn’t have considered it a second chance.

But Donghae was a different story. Anything Donghae did hurt me. He’s the only reason I’m doing this, anyway.

“There’s no chance in hell that we’re leaving you alone when we all see what condition you’re in. Do you think we’re made of stone? Do you consider us that careless? That ignorant?”

“I don’t consider you careless. I wished you’d be careless. That’s the only thing I need. I’m not a child, Heechul, I can look after my own skin,” I hissed the last word, running out breath from all the harsh shouting.

“Obviously you can’t,” Heechul said, and his voice surprised me. It was not shouting, was not screaming, it was more as if he was talking to himself. I felt worse than ever. I turned around, heading to my room so I wouldn’t collapse in front of the other members. But before I reached my room, I turned at the dinner table, which had been the object to start this brawl.

“And that,” I started, “You won’t even force in me with a baseball bat. There’s no way in hell that that’s going through my digestive system. No offence, Ryeowook,” And then I slammed the door shut behind me. I could hear the shock from the other members; I could hear tears, and heavy breathing. I tried to block it all out. I couldn’t let it affect me. I walked up to the full length mirror, staring at my reflection, like I needed a reminder to why I’m doing this. Why I don’t eat. And I saw it.

Heartbroken, I traced my fingers across my waist, while staring in disgust. It was revolting. Here I was, an idol, dancer and rapper of Super Junior, and obese?

I groaned. Of course I had no real fans. It wasn’t possible. No one loved a one like me. They only pretend because I’m a part of the oh-so-famous Super Junior.

I jumped in shock as I heard a careful knock on the door. “Hyung?” A voice called. Siwon. Of course, the hero Siwon would come. But I knew the Jesus-lover only had good intentions. “Can I please come in?” I sat down on the bed, my back towards the door, and mumbled a “sure,” without much excitement. I hear the door slowly opening, before it was shut just as silently. Siwon walked up to me and sat down beside me, but still giving me my personal space. I exhaled, staring at the floor, struggling to keep my tears in check.

“Are you okay?” Siwon asked. I knew that wasn’t really what he’d wanted to say, but it was a way of starting a conversation. I knew he didn’t need a reply, he already saw that I wasn’t.

“Listen. None of us wanted Heechul hyung to act so harsh and defensive. It scared all of us. But you have to remember that Heechul isn’t really mad. It’s just his way of caring. He’s the second oldest, he feels he has to take care of all of us, and he is, just like us, terrified when one of the members turn out to be in a very critical condition,” Siwon spoke each word with sympathy and apology, his soft, yet protective voice making him sound more like a big brother than a dongsaeng to me. He was so strong. So pure, so innocent.

“He cares so much for you, hyung. We all do. We wouldn’t react if we didn’t.” A tear ran down my cheek, and I knew I couldn’t hold them inside any longer. I wasn’t nearly as strong as Siwon. How much I envied him that.

“You shouldn’t react. You shouldn’t care so much,” I protested. Siwon exhaled beside me, his brows furrowing to a worried expression, yet so soft and understanding.

“I can understand how you can look at that as a disadvantage. But for that, we can only apologize. We all love you, hyung, no matter what,” One of his hands gently comforted my arm, before he let it drop. Another tear fell as I heard his words. I shook my head. They didn’t all love me. There was one of them who didn’t.

The one person I wished would love me was the one who absolutely didn’t.

“Look at Sungmin. He can’t stand it. Heechul and Eeteuk are discussing in the kitchen. Yesung is busy trying to comfort Ryeowook, since he feels such guilt and shame for bringing you pain. Kyuhyun and Shindong are only staring blankly in the air, neither of them was saying anything. And Donghae is not returning,”

My heart ached as he mentioned Donghae. Donghae was the reason. He didn’t even love me, and the only reason he left was because he couldn’t stand me. I knew it.

“You really took a toll on Donghae. We don’t see Donghae smiling anymore. And I think you really, really hurt him, hyung. Donghae cares more for you than anyone’s willing to believe,” Siwon still spoke with his soothing, comforting voice. I couldn’t believe my own ears. Donghae cares for me? What a joke.

“Donghae doesn’t care for me,” I disagreed, my voice breaking because of the tears trailing down my cheeks. I could hear Siwon’s sigh of despair. Instead of arguing with me, Siwon gave me a hug in his tight embrace, and rose from the bed, understanding my craving for being alone. But I could still hear the almost-silent “He does,” before he smiled a sad smile at me, and closed the door. I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. I rose from the bed as well, and walked up to the mirror, again greeted by that repulsive reflection of my body. I pinched my waist.

This, I thought to myself,

This is the reason why Donghae doesn’t love me.

And I had reached my limit. The other members wouldn’t leave me alone from now on, and I couldn’t continue like this. It had taken too long. I sat down on the floor, trying to think of what to do next, when I was suddenly reminded of a previous thought.

There were only two solutions to this problem.

1. Donghae could love me.
2. I could disappear.

That’s it. I had to disappear. And for good. For Donghae.

*

I had everything planned. Super Junior [not including me because of my condition] was leaving for practice in half an hour, meaning I would have the entire dorm for myself, and no one could stop me.

I waited for them to leave and the car to be out of sight before I slowly walked to the kitchen, finding the object I was looking for…

~*Donghae’s POV*~

We were seated in our car on the way to practice. No one really said much, just looked up, down or out the window with a confused, deep-in-thought expression. Everything was numb and calm, and we were half way to our destination when a shock as powerful as an electric one shot through me.

Hyukjae.

Something was wrong, something was very very wrong. I could feel it.

“STOP!” I yelled, and everyone flinched, looking at me with shocked expressions.
“I SAID STOP! I have to get out!” I yelled to the driver. Without asking, he turned in on the side of the road. I pushed the door open and threw it shut behind me, not looking back as I sprinted home. My heart was beating ten times as fast as it normally did, my heart was aching, my eyes were panicked but still focused, and I continued to push myself harder, running faster. I could not be too late. I just couldn’t. And even though I’d never run so fast ever before, things seemed to go so slow, like I was moving in slow motion while the rest of the world continued in a normal pace. I knew it was in a matter of minutes. I could feel that it was all in a matter of minutes. Tears started blurring my view, but I ignored them, running, running faster and faster until I saw our dorm from the end of the road. I couldn’t be too late.

My breathing hitched as I ran up the stairs to our level, forcing myself to keep moving even though I was exhausted. I threw the door open, and ran through our living room. I didn’t know how, but I knew where he was. I knew what he was doing. And then I saw him.

He was standing, his back to me and with a knife raised arm length away from his body. Even though I was running, I could still take in the entire setting in what seemed to be a fraction of a second. I was only steps away from seeing suicide. And just before he could pull down his arms to plunge the knife into his heart, I ran into him.

“NO!” I roared, my body smashing into his, forcing us to lose balance and fall on the ground, I on top of him. He lost grip of his knife, and it flew to the other corner of the room. But I didn’t look to see where it landed; I could only focus on Hyukjae, staring with frightened and furious eyes. His frozen expression was unquestionable.

He was wondering why I was saving him. That ing idiot.
“What the hell are you doing!?” I shouted even though I was right on top of him. I stared into his eyes, tears as big as baseballs escaping my eyes.

“How ing stupid can you get!? Why would you ever do something like this, Lee Hyukjae?”
“I don’t, I know,” Hyukjae stuttered, still shocked that I’d just appeared from nowhere and saved him, “Because, I know things would get easier for you if I just ended this-”

“You don’t know a , Hyukjae, you know nothing. Really? Do you think things would get easy for me if my best friend killed himself because of me? Do you think I want you dead?” My voice was thick with pain. I just couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. He was killing himself for me?

He didn’t respond. He only swallowed. And I knew what that meant.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever lived to hear,” I shouted.
“It’s not! If only you knew how I feel, you’d understand!” He protested, cutting me off. He was crying, too. We didn’t move in position. I didn’t want to. For the first time in a long time, I felt complete with my body against Hyukjae’s, my face only inches away from his.

[Listen to song “I love you- Ray Sharphttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEd1foqvt-A]

“Then tell me, Hyukjae, tell me how you feel,” I said, my voice a little bit more calm. I looked at him with pleading eyes.

“I can’t. I can’t tell you how I feel,” He muttered, his voice breaking. “I’m so sorry, I never meant for things to end up like this. I just couldn’t control my feelings, I couldn’t control what happened, and when I saw your face, and when you spoke to me, whatever you did, my heart sped up and I-”

I silenced him, breaking off the desperate confession. I crashed my lips against his, my wet cheeks meeting his wet cheeks, my arms holding around him protectively, cradling him in my embrace. And never before have I felt so fulfilled, so absolutely complete.

I knew what he was saying. I recognized the feelings he portrayed. When I’d seen his face, whenever he’d spoken to me, my heart had raced, and my breathing had turned uneven, and I could only admire his beauty. And I didn’t mean for that to happen either. I hadn’t changed that consciously. It had just happened. I’d just fallen in love with him.

Our lips parted when I’d run out of breath, and I looked back in his eyes, who were now staring into mine, a questioning, happy and sad expression all at once.

“Lee Hyukjae,” I started, my voice soft and calm. “I could have written an entire book on how confused I was when I finally realized what my feelings were for you,” I told him in complete honesty. It was the only way to finally show just how much I loved him. “You have to understand how much it pained me when I understood I couldn’t have you that way. And when, when you-” I lost my ability to speak when I saw Hyukjae smile. His eyes were still crying, but he was smiling as he looked at me. My heart melted completely; I had missed that smile so much.

“And, and just like now,” I stuttered, “I can’t control my reactions. I completely lose my ability to think and to breathe properly.”

“You have to understand how much it pained me when I saw the pictures. I already knew I could never have you, and to see those pictures as a confirmation really ruined me,” He responded with honesty and pure emotions formed as words. I couldn’t help but wince at that time, when we’d both been so deeply depressed and without clues. Things had changed. We now had clues. I really felt like things could get better now. Hyukkie felt the same way I did.

“I do understand. Believe me, I do. And I really can explain those photos-” I said, but I was cut off by his lips, as he wrapped his hands around my neck and brought my face to his. Then he released me, his beautiful smile still on his lips.

“I told you I didn’t need an explanation. I’m not mad,” He said. I looked down, remembering that sentence from before. He said it with a different voice now. His voice was warm.

“I still am,” I replied with a husky, apologetic voice. “But now you understand why it matters so much to me what you feel,” I said. He widened his eyes.

“There is nothing in the world that means more to me than you, Hyukkie. Absolutely nothing. If you’d taken yourself away from me completely today, I don’t know if I could have survived it. You would have killed me with you.”

“There’s nothing in the world that means anything to me except you,” Hyukkie confessed, his voice shy but strong at the same time. “That’s why I saw no point continuing to exist if I didn’t have the only thing I cared about,”

“You do have me,” I protested, smiling a little, “Completely. I’m yours,”

Hyukkie started crying again, but the tears were not the same, deeply depressed ones. I wiped them away with my hands.

“You will never understand how much it means to me to hear you say that,” He smiled that heartwarming smile again. I shook my head, smiling as well.

“I love you,” He whispered, his arms lightly resting around my neck. I felt like I was going to explode with happiness. Finally.

“Forever,” I replied. I got off him, grinning as he looked at me questioning. I helped him up, and wrapped my arms around him, something I’d wanted to do for so long now. I rested my head on his neck for a second.

“I’ve really missed you, Hyukkie,” I whispered into his neck. I could feel him shiver at the feeling of my breath brushing against him.

“I need you,” He said, finally.

~~~~~~

Hello! First, I just have to apologize for not updating yesterday, I came home way too late. So I've made this chapter extra long to make it up to you ^_^ 

Yay! It's no longer the hopeless, depressive mood! Everything's changed! <3 Please comment to let me know what you think about it! Your comments  & subscriptions have meant so much to me! [=

[A/N]: Sadly, my vacation ends today, and I'll be back in school tomorrow *sulks* so I won't be able to update as regularly anymore. I will try to update more than twice a weak, but please bear with me, and forgive me! <3 

~*Love you all;*~ -Gwii :}