Himchan was slammed onto the lockers by yongguk and their lips were crushed together. That was all junhong had to see, but it was already more than he could handle. He stared wide-eyed as the scene unraveled in front of him. They didn't even attempt to silence the muffled moans that were slipping out of their mouths. Hunger and lust was practically spewing from their bodies, the crumpled fabric on their skin was giving them away. Junhong swallowed harshly, his books slipped from his clammy hands and landed heavily on the floor. The scene in front of him broke and he was snapped back into cruel reality. 

"What do you think you're looking at?" yongguk hissed. His deep voice echoing through the seemingly empty hallway. At you two eating each other's faces. Junhong couldn't speak. Not in front of them. But he stood his ground and locked his knees making himself as tall as he could manage, although there was a strange queasy churning in his gut. "Don't bother with him Gukkie. It's ok... He's nothing... Let's just go..." himchan pulled at Yongguk's arm and took one last unpitying glance at junhong. Although it wasn't meant to be loud, junhong heard it clearly. Every word. Apparently so did a group of students who chanced by the scene. They shot him looks that were ridden with various emotions. All of which boiled down to the thought that junhong was pathetic. But today junhong couldn't care less about the stares he was receiving or that the whispering that he thought had died down forever was revived. This wasn't the first time he'd seen yongguk and himchan together, but he didn't need a reminder, certainly not one that explicit and showing of what kind of activities they engaged in, in their free time. Yongguk was popular, and he was a jerk. Himchan's type... Junhong shook his head harshly and made his way back to class, ignoring the burning sensation at the pit of his stomach. He felt sick. A certain tightness made its way around his throat.

                                                                                                   ☛page break

"No hyung please... Please don't!" junhong woke up with a start. He was feeling unwell when he got back and decided to take a nap, hoping that sleeping would help him forget. But it didn't. His knuckles turned white from clenching at his sheets, sweat that formed at the still of his forehead trickled down his face. Strangled cries of "Himchan" still hanging from the edges of his lips. Then he felt it again. That familiar tightening in his lungs. His stomach churned with a vengeance. He ran, hand over his mouth. He shut the toilet door behind him and clumsily flipped open the covers, leaning closer to its porcelain facade. But nothing came out, only more tears forming at his eyes because of the burning sensation in his lungs. He clutched his chest and fell back against the wall, trying to steady his erratic breathing. The air came in hoarse against his throat, scratching up his lungs like needles. And the bitterness in his throat made its way to the tip of his tongue. Junhong hated his body for reacting in such a way. Anxiety- that's what the doctors called it. He was on his first plane ride ever, at the age of six, when his body started rejecting the idea of being in a foil machine thousands of feet off the ground. He started gripping tightly to his seat, choking and sputtering on thin air and he ended up throwing up into a paper bag. Anxiety that resulted from a fear of flying. But the doctors were wrong. Junhong wasn't afraid of flying. He was afraid of falling. And the latter he did way too often. He stayed in the toilet for a while, at least till the vice-like grip on his lungs loosened. 

"Umma, I-I'll be out for a while alright? I won't be back till after dinner! I'm sorry..." junhong pulled on his cardigan while calling out to his mother who was busying herself in the kitchen. "Oh... Junhonggie are you alright? What happened?" she turned around to face the blonde-haired boy who was now fussing over his shoe laces. "I'm fine umma, I just feel like going for a walk. Don't worry about me... I'm sorry..." junhong flashed her an uneasy smile then turned to leave. He wouldn't have his mother see him like that again. He promised himself that after the plane ride. He walked a few blocks down, past the park and into a street which was quiet save for a few people. As if by cue, the streetlights , each blinking to life. Junhong pulled his cardigan closer to him, like as if it would help him escape the scrutinizing glare of the streetlights which threaten to highlight his reddened eyes. He sat at the corner of an isolated street. The violent churning in his stomach was replaced by a flurry of butterflies, all hyped by the thumping of his heart. This was where they used to sit. Junhong used to like coming here alone to sit and think, until he met himchan. They'd sit on this curb all day, just talking, holding hands... Kissing. Junhong scolded himself. He told himself never to come here again. Never to let himself wallow in self-consuming pity. Because himchan wasn't going to come up to the curb and take his usual spot beside him again. But this was the only place that calmed junhong. Where he could feel, for a split second, that everything was back to normal, as it should be. When he believed everything himchan said, when he felt safe, secure. When he was too blissfully lost to see through the the flaws. Free from falling. But now he was just free falling through the sky. 

Junhong sat there rethinking all the memories in his mind. When did everything start falling apart? That question doesn't apply. Everything fell apart from the start. Junhong was just too ignorant to see it. All the moments, all the promises. All false. Yet junhong can't help but feel that it's his fault. His fault for being so usable. For being so trusting. For not being anyone's type. For being so forgettable, so temporary. 

Just like bubblegum. 

He sat there until he realized it was getting late. He hadn't noticed the grumbling that escaped from his stomach, now well-washed by the acid from just now. Junhong sighed and made his way towards the nearest convenience store. He knew this place well enough. It was close to where himchan lived. His thoughts were interrupted by the bell that rang when the door was pushed open. The convenience store was the only one on this street and it was surprisingly toasty inside. He grabbed a bun from one of the aisles and proceeded to the cashier.

 "J-junhong?" The said boy looked up from his plastic bag towards the owner of that voice. "Oh... Hey... What're you doing here?" junhong wasn't trying to be rude, but his question sounded more invasive than planned out in his head. "Oh I was just getting some umma for my eggs- I mean eggs for my umma!" the brown-haired boy slapped himself mentally. "And y-you?" jongup asked. "I... Uhm... Happened to be around here and I got hungry... So..." junhong lifted the plastic bag up to eye level and smiled slightly. "Ohhhh... I see..." jongup paused for a rather lengthy period of time, trying desperately to continue with this conversation. "S-so... You live around here?" Junhong broke the silence, the awkwardness of the situation was starting to numb his mind. "Mmhmm... There!" jongup smiled brightly and pointed at the grey-roofed house at the end of the street. "Oh... That's nice! I never knew you lived here..." junhong would later wonder why he was trying so hard to keep up the conversation. "I guess I'll get going?" junhong gave a weak smile. "W-wait! I... Uhm... It's late... So uhm... C-can I walk you home?" jongup tried as hard as possible to avoid any form of eye contact with junhong. The words that came out of his mouth didn't sound like what he planned in his head. They sounded creepy as hell. "Uhm... I-I guess... But you don't have to..." junhong was stunned by jongup's request, but he didn't want to hear the disappointed tone in jongup's voice anymore. He was getting way too familiar with that. "No no! it's ok! I'll walk you home!" 

And so the journey of mounting silence began, with only the hollowed sounds of their footsteps to accompany them. "Do you want some?" junhong said as he caught jongup looking at him. "N-no thanks... I don't really like bread..." jongup replied, smiling like his life depended on it. "And why's that?" junhong nipped another bit off his bread. "Because... Uhm... Bread is for fish and birds..." Jongup tried to hide his embarrassed smile behind his bangs, which were too short to hide anything. Junhong chuckled softly, eating his bread to hide his toothy grin. He silently contemplated if he was a fish or a bird, and secretly preferred neither. The rest of the walk back to junhong's house was silent, save from occasional deliberate coughing and the rustling of junhong's now crushed up plastic bag. But it was alright, talking would be awkward for the both of them anyways. 

"Uhm... We're here! That's my house... The one at that bend... So... Uhm... Thank you... Very much... Bye!" junhong smiled politely and turned towards his home. "Uhm... W-wait... Junhong?" junhong stopped in his tracks and turned back to look at the boy who was now frowning, his face filled with a certain solemnness. "Hmmm?" junhong hummed. "Mm... A-are you alright?" Junhong was engulfed with a strange puzzlement, until he realized jongup must have noticed that he had been crying. . "Y-yeah... I am! Thanks for walking me home... Uhm... Hyung..." it feels weird to let that term slip out again. Junhong haven't had the chance to use social terms in a while. "O-oh... Uhm... No problem... Well... Whatever that's bothering you... Don't think about it alright? Uhm... Night..." jongup smiled once again, the toothy smile that stretched across his face and lit up in his eyes, obviously pleased. Junhong watched as his silhouette diffused into the darkness.

Don't think about it, alright.

Junhong digested that sentence as he lay in his bed, exhausted from everything. If only it were that easy.

Here you go guys!

I'm so going to miss my flight...