The sound of the waterfall against the hard rocks…

The feelings of the water against my skin…

I had my eyes closed but my mind was concentrating on my surroundings – the sounds of the fishes splashing their fins on the water, nearby bird chirping, the rustling of the leaves, even my trainer’s heartbeat.

For a month now, after many trainings, I had been trained to be more vigilant of my own surrounding. My trainer, Master Hwangssabu, taught me this. He had been my trainer for as long as I could remember. Next to Lee Kyung Jun, I already looked up to him as if he was my father.

Lee Kyung Jun… I looked up to him. I saw him as my real father. When I was down, he was the one who lifted me up. And now he gave me this chance. I would surely take this opportunity and wouldn’t waste it.

I sneezed suddenly. I opened my eyes and saw Master Hwangssabu’s angry face in front of me.

“It’s okay, I can manage,” I said, convincing him. But then, I squeezed again.

“This is enough now, Jiyong,” master said. “You have been under the waterfall for eight hours straight. Let’s go home now.”

“But, master…” I was about to protest more but I sneezed once again.

“Your stubbornness would not lead you anywhere,” he said, helping me up. “Though I admire your motivation.”

“You know why,” I said.

He nodded. “Yes, motivation is very important. But your health is more important. How can you accomplish your missions if you’re sick?”

I looked down. Beads of water were dropping from my hair and my well-built body. For ten years already, this had gotten me this far.

“Do you perhaps know when I will be able to do them, master?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Let us wait for your father’s signal.”

I nodded.

He patted my back. “You’re already strong. And I’m sure you’re almost ready. But aren’t you trying to throw away your life?”

I stared at him. He’s at it again. “Master, I told you many times before, I am more than sure about my decision. Father trusts me. And more than anyone else, I thought you would trust me too.”

“I trust you, boy. But haven’t you thought about it?”

“I did. But what would my family think? What would they think of me if I don’t do anything? I was already a worthless son back then, I had to make up for it.”

“But they’re gone…”

“I know that!” I burst out. I gritted my teeth as I realized what I had done. He wasn’t at fault. He was trying to change my mind, yes. But I think he was speaking as a father himself. Once I realized my fault, I turned around and left him.

-

Red-black.

A pool of red-black.

They’re expanding!

They’re swallowing me down with it!

Help me! Somebody please help me!

Suddenly, Dami-noona’s face appeared, my eighteen-year old sister. She was so happy, then. She was so proud of me going to camping with my class.

‘I knew it, Jiyong! I knew that you were good with this!’ she had complimented. She gave me a hug as tight as she could. It was like she savored the moment as if it was our last embrace.

‘Noona!’ I had complained. ‘Stop embarrassing me! My friends are watching.’ She pulled away and messed my hair playfully.

My mother’s face appeared. She was teary-eyed.

‘You take care there, son,’ she had said. She kissed my forehead before hugging me. ‘Promise me you’ll take care, arasso? Take your vitamins every night, alright? And be sure-‘

‘Omma! I’ll just be away for three nights. Don’t worry too much!’ I said.

My father’s face appeared. His face was calm, too calm. He gave me his genuine smile. Between Dami-noona and I, I was his favorite. Maybe because we were of the same gender.

‘Make us proud,’ he had simply said.

I smiled back at him as he pulled me into a small hug.

The scene changed drastically as I was back to being pulled by the expanding red-black blood. I gave up struggling. Eventually, I was on my front door. My bags that were on my arms were dropped to the ground as I stared in utter shock. Dami-noona, Omma, and Appa… they were swimming on their own pool of blood.

The house looked disastrous as the furniture were here and there. But I couldn’t look away too long. My eyes were back to my family, who were lying next to each other, Omma had her hand enclosed with Appa’s, while noona was being hugged by Appa. I wanted to reach out to them but there was something that stopped me. But I fought it.

I willed my feet to walk forward. But instead of succeeding, I stumbled. My knees were shaking, even without me noticing it. My hands were shaking too. I couldn’t even utter a word. My mind was blank.

‘Noona… Omma… Appa…’ I said, finally finding my voice. ‘Who did this to you?’

“AAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhh!” a deafening scream woke me up. I stared left and right to find the source. There was no one inside my room. I was alone, just like I wanted to.

“What happened?” a groggy Master Hwangssabu welcomed me. “Why were you shouting?”

That was when I realized that the scream was from me. For ten years now, I had the same nightmare. It was all repetitive that I memorized every bits of it. It was like my sleep would not be complete without them.

“Did you have it again?” master asked.

“Just leave me alone,” I requested.

He complied. He knew I wanted to be alone today. He knew my needs.

The nightmares… I didn’t want them to come back. But what could I do? They did. I couldn’t do anything. If I could stop myself from falling asleep, I would, but I couldn’t. After being on training every day for several hours for ten years, sometimes I would even forget eating dinner and just go directly to bed.

I sat up, raking my hair in frustration. I hate it, always having the same nightmare all over again. Noona, Omma, and Appa – they always visit me. What do they want me to do? They seem like telling me I was at fault. I honestly don’t know.

For all these years, yes, I blamed myself. I mean, if I weren’t on camp, I would have saved them, right? Everyone I knew understood how I felt. Well, at least, I thought they did. Lately, they had been changing their sentiments, saying that I needed to move on and that it was not good to keep on holding on to one thing too much.

I scoffed, remembering each of their words. Such clueless bunch of people. Thinking they understood my situation, I didn’t think so, even going as far as making me trust them.

I guess what everyone said was true – that trusting someone is hard. They said that it would put you in the most difficult situation. They said that it could destroy you. They said that once you gave your whole trust on a person, chances are, when they break it, it would not be pieced back together. It could be but it wouldn’t be the same way it was before.

As for my case, I found myself trusting almost everyone. I don’t know. They seemed trustworthy.

The people around me, I considered them to be my friends. Seeing them almost every day, we were like brothers already. So, I guess when they told me to move on, I was too hurt that they can even think of telling me that. With those thoughts, it was like they didn’t believe in my skills. I believed my skills, and I believed theirs. Why couldn’t they let me be? It wasn’t like we had different motivations. We were the same.

I stood up from my bed and headed to the window. I opened it and smelled the fresh night air. It would be my last night here. Master Hwangssabu said that I had to go back to States tomorrow. He said that Lee Kyung Jun called after we trained at the waterfall.

Somehow, it made me more motivated. Who knows what the reason behind the call anyway? Maybe it was because Lee Kyung Jun thought that I was already prepared for the mission. Oh, yes, I am. I am more than ready, anyway.

I am going to miss this place, the people here, the trainings, Master Hwangssabu. Everyone already had a very special place in my heart.

That’s right. I had to think of things like these. I had to erase the fact that I only had a nightmare before this.

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UNNIE'S NOTE:

finally! the first chapter! let me know your thoughts, arasso? oh, and anyway, let me tell you a secret. kekekeke. I'm not supposedly going to post this story after my fic, (A Test of Fate

) is completed. but, i kind of have a reason to do so. Cos, you know what? *ehem*ehem*

it's my first anniversary here at AFF. kekekeke. WEEEEE~

Now, *goesbacktoupdatingatestoffate*

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*poster credits to aiueonni of DOO-oack | Graphic Service

LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS BELOW. :)