Working

Working

 Today's the day! The day I start working as trainee I might find my long lost bother! @

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"Ok sign here and here and then we should be good" your manager said.  "Okay *signs* when do I start , sir" You said.   "Tomorrow 6 am sharp and call me Mr.Park okay Miss Lee" Mr.Park said.    "Sure thing Mr.Park" You said.     "See you tomorrow and don't be late" Mr.Park said.   "Sure thing Mr.Park" You yelled as he walked down the hall way.   "How do you like it around here" Key asked walking to you.  "It's a pretty place you work at Key" You said. "Nice to know or I would them tear this place down and build and a building just for You" Key said. "Oh good one Key why aren't you laughing" You asked. "Oh because um I don't feel well and I have to back to work bye" Key said and ran off in a hurry.

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lynnie-chan
#1
Chapter 1: Cool story~

Maybe you could separate the paragraph when different people speak? It's kind of hard for me to read it when it's one big paragraph 3:
FTiNo1
#2
Ohh sounds really cool :O I'm totally looking forward to your story C: FIGHTING!!