--- 4 years ago ----

You the silver ring that was looped into the twine necklace. Dropping the ring, it fell into place in the middle of your chest, where it had rested ever since your brother had given it to you. As of today, one month had passed since he'd committed suicide

You still remembered a year ago when he came out to you, and told you he was gay. You were the only one that knew for a couple of months, but eventually he came out to the public. Your mother hadn't reacted too badly, but she treated him differently. Tension had grown between the two of them as time went on. Instead of his usual chipper self, he would isolate himself in his room to cry. His friends seemed to drop off like flies as they distanced themselves from him. It was as if he had been sent to live alone in the middle of nowhere, away from people, away from people who cared. He was bullied and made fun of, a constant reminder that he was different. As much as you tried to help him, his spirits never lifted. Soon, it got to be too much for him, and he took his own life.

As your hand slid from your necklace to the desk, you winced in pain. The bruise you'd gotten last night was starting to hurt. When you had tried to help your drunk mother up the stairs and into bed the night before, you'd managed to end up hitting your arm on something. Ever since your brother had passed away, she had started constantly drowning her sorrows in alcohol and barely maintaining a relationship with you. She lost her job, and immerged herself in the world of drug dealing. Just thinking of your once strong mother falling apart brought tears to your eyes. Your hands clasped your necklace again, squeezing it hard to try and stop tears from falling.

"You still have that old piece of crap?" Myungsoo inquired, mock clear both in his words and the smirk he wore on his face. You sent him a wordless glare as he sauntered past your desk. Laughter filled your ears as Myungsoo's group of friends followed behind him.

"What? Are you a mute now? Man, your family is unlucky. First your brother's gay, and now you're a mute. At least one of them's gone." He laughed and high fived his friend. You balled up your fists at your side, fighting your anger off. Myungsoo gripped the piece of twine roughly, yanking it toward him as you automatically stood up, feeling the twine dig into the back of your neck.

Myungsoo frowned when you didn't speak up. He bared his teeth angrily, "When I talk to you, I expect you to respond." As he jerked the necklace toward him again, the twine snapped, and the silver ring caught the light as it plummeted to the ground. Your body slumped back into the chair, and you took in a deep breath, rubbing your neck in hopes of making the pain disappear.

Myungsoo crouched down to retrieve the object that had fallen off of the necklace. As he picked it up, a devilish grin was plastered on his features. "Oh, what do we have here? A ring?" He dangled it in front of your face as he strung it back into the twine. You narrowed your eyes as Myungsoo continued his speech. "Maybe I should... throw it in the river?"

"Give it back." You hissed at him. He looked surprised.

"Oh look, she can talk! At least one of them is cured." Fury filled your body at his words. Myungsoo was talking to your brother as if he had some sort of disease, and you hated it.

Your nails began digging into your palms as you clenched your fists together. "Give. It. Back." You insisted stronger, before standing up and taking a step closer to him.

"Hey, man, stay back. I don't want to turn gay or something." Myungsoo put his hands up mockingly, feigning fright. You don't know what came over you, but you felt a sudden rush as your fist connected with his temple. Audible gasps echoed throughout the classroom, and your breathing suddenly became jagged as your mind registered what you had done. Myungsoo was lying on the ground, unmoving, with the necklace lying next to him. You reached for it, but one of his followers grabbed it before you could.

"What is going on?" The alarmed tone came from your teacher, whose footsteps were getting closer. Her gasp reached your ears as she came to stand next to you, peering from you to the boy lying unconscious on the ground. A purple bruise was already starting to appear on his temple.

"Why would you do such a thing?" The teacher's high pitched exclamation was directed at you.

"He was disrespectful to my brother." The strong and deffiant words were out of your mouth before you could stop them.

"Your brother is gone." The teacher's words were cold, void of emotion.

"That doesn't make his honor any less." Your fists were clenching and unclenching as you turned to face her. Anger and resentment burned in your eyes, threatening to spill out in the form of tears.

"His honor was gone when he came out as gay. Furthermore, it was ruined by cowardly killing himself." Her eyes pierced yours.

"Now you need to report to the principal's-"

"TAKE IT BACK!" You screamed in her face. She took a step back.

"You will not talk to me like that." She retorted calmly, her feet shuffling, a small sign of nervousness that you did not fail to notice.

You slowly released your hands from their balled up position in an effort to control your growing anger. "You will never be as strong as he was." 

She didn't seem affected as you spat the words at her.

"The sooner you accept what happened to your brother, the sooner you will move on."

That was when you punched someone for the second time in your life. Unlike Myungsoo, she did not pass out. A cry bubbled out of as she stumbled, using a desk for support. Blood that she spit from landed on the floor next to her foot. You turned, not looking back, and ran out of the building. Someone called for you stop, but you kept running. You ran the only place you felt comfortable; home.

Once you got home, you collapsed in a chair in your kitchen. You looked down, and your hand was bruised, swollen, and bloody. As you placed it on the table, your eyes shifted over your hand and onto a note sitting on the table.

'My darling,

I love you. I will always love you. I know that I will be taken to jail today. I want you to have all of the money I have left, which is in the drawer in my bedroom. Go away from Korea, go away from this country. Start a new life. I'm sorry for all that I have put you through.

Love, your mother.'

You didn't cry. You found yourself in front of your mother's bedroom, debating if you should really take her money. You didn't have any other choice, you decided. Your hands found the doornob and you entered the room. Your feet carried you to the desk beside her desk, and your hands opened the draw. A gasp came from your throat as you through the money. It was at least 1,000 dollars.

You didn't hesitate as you collected your belongings and went to the airport. As you boarded the plane, you knew that this was where your old life ended, and your new life would start.

As you sat in the alleyway, it was the first time you had cried since you had left Korea. It was this country, you told youself. There was something wrong with this place. You pressed your palms firmly against your closed eyes, trying to stop the tears. Seconds later, you removed them. In front of you was someone familiar; someone you really didn't want to see right now.

"Hey." Lay's voice reached your ears as he gestured to the ground next to you. "Can I?"

You nodded hesitantly, embarrassed that Lay had seen you in this state. An audible sigh came from his lips as he took a seat next to you, ignoring the grime of the alleyway. His arm made its way around your shoulders, pulling you closer as you relented. Your body stayed stiffly in an upright position. You wouldn't let him have his way with you. He gently grasped your shoulder and tried again to pull you closer, this time with mild success. The fight to keep the space between you two ended, and you let your head fall onto his shoulder. "Talk to me." Lay's strangely rough voice filled your ears.

"My brother killed himself." It was the first time you had told anyone in a long time. It hurt your whole body to say those simple words.

"Why?" Lay's voice wasn't prying, it was soothing, a blanket of words that covered you and made you feel warm and protected.

"He was gay. And bullied for it." You cringed, almost expecting him to back away, scared of you and your brother. But he didn't.

"By Myungsoo?" You shook your head.

You felt pathetic and small as you responded. "No, he bullied me for it." 

"You punched him?"

"And my teacher." 

A puff of air hit your neck as he chuckled. "Good. They deserved it."

"Thank you for being honest with me." Guilt hit you like wave as Lay said the words. If there was ever a perfect time to tell him about Xiu Li, it was now.

"I haven't been."

He pulled away from you slightly so that he could look at your face. "What do you mean?"

"Lay, what I was going to tell you before..." You sighed and met his eyes. He looked concerned. The thought of his eyes turning angry scared you. 

"It's okay, tell me."

"It's Xiu Li." His head tilted slightly to the side. An emotion that you couldn't understand crossed his eyes. You in a breath. This was it. You were going to tell him. You were going to tell him, and you were going to be cast aside.

It's okay, you were just some girl.