"No I don't." The words wavered, a failed attempt at you to be firm.

"Whatever, it's not like I care. Just tell him so that you can go back home soon." He shoved past you to walk out the door.

For a second, you paused. "Go home?" The words came painfully out of your mouth.

"Yeah, isn't that what you wanted?" Your head nodded, but you felt numb. You weren't sure what you wanted anymore.

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway, you're just some girl." With that he left the kitchen, and reality hit you. Hard. You quickly said goodbye and left the apartment, and went back to yours. Your apartment was lonely; you hadn't decorated it at all. The walls were grey, the furniture was black. It fit your mood.

The more the words rang in your head, the more true you realized they were. You're just some girl. It was true. Some girl who happened to know something important about a celebrities’ girlfriend. Something that could either make or break him. As soon as she told Lay, she'd be shipped away, never even remembered except as the girl who brought the news that broke Lay's heart. Just some girl.

Suddenly, you cursed yourself. Why did you have to follow along with this? Why did you even come here? If only you'd tried harder, you could have gotten away and you wouldn't be in this mess. Nothing good ever happens in this country, that was something you knew when you came here. That's why you left Korea all those years ago. As you lay back on your bed and criticized yourself, you fell asleep with your clothes and shoes on.

The next morning, you didn't sit next to Lay in the van. EXO's manager was on your left, and a window, which you gazed out sadly, sat at your right. After all, you were leaving soon, and that meant that you couldn't have a crush on Lay. His eyebrows furrowed in response to your actions, and he asked the manager to switch places with him. Strings of curses played in your mind as Lay took the seat next to you.

"What's wrong?" He asked, and you shook your head.

"Nothing. But we need to talk tonight." You didn't look at him. How good he looked today was not something you wanted to think about.

"Okay. Is it about what you were going to tell me last night?" He asked, and you nodded. The conversation ended there. You happened to glance forward, and found Kris staring at you. He nodded at you.

Once you were at the SM building, you were thankful that it wasn't crowded. You still hadn't gotten used to it, and Lay would hold your hand every time to help you through the crowds. Thankfully, today he didn't have to.

You entered a room and you watched them practice their dance. You didn't understand how they weren't tired of dancing the same dance over and over again; you were sick of watching it. On their tenth time practicing it, they got a break (as they always did on their tenth time). Lay would usually come sit next to you, along with sometimes Se Hun or Baekhyun, but today he walked out of the room. It was then that you realized that Se Hun was talking to you.

"What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said." You admitted.

"That's okay. I was just saying that I really liked the hair that you picked for me yesterday. I was thinking that maybe now, Lu Han and I could have matching hair, purple maybe? Or pink? I..." You weren't listening to what he was saying. The door that you stared at was the only thing that loomed in your mind. Where could Lay have gone?

"Is that okay?" Se Hun finished up and you blinked and turned to him. 

"What? Yeah, sure." Se Hun did a miniature cheer and got up and ran over to Lu Han. You were glad he had left, you weren't in the mood to talk to anyone. Soon, Lay came back holding a drink. Ah, so he had gotten himself a drink. It's not like you cared or anything.

He walked straight toward you and sat down next to you.

"It's chai tea. I hope it will make you feel better." He said, and handed you the warm cup. As your hands, you felt fireworks tingle through your hands to the rest of your body.

"Thanks," was all you uttered, and he nodded.

"I hope you get better soon." He placed his hand on your knee and squeezed it, before standing up and walking over to the choreographer. Tingles rain up and down your leg, as you stared at your knee. Why did he keep doing this to you? It was like torture. How could someone not like Lay?

Soon they were rehearsing again, but you decided to leave. They had to go on the radio today, and you wanted to spend more time on their outfits. Eh, maybe that wasn't true, but you'd be away from Lay.

On your way to their huge wardrobe, you ran into their Manager.

"Change of schedule. Before the radio, they have to perform on Music Core. We need two separate outfits for each." That was all he said, before hurrying off. Suddenly, you were glad that you had left. It would take you twice as long to get two outfits for everyone.

As soon as you got into their wardrobe, you worked fast and swiftly. You knew all of their sizes by now, and what they did and didn't like to wear, although they didn't complain too much. It let your mind rest, and you were glad for the distraction. Some time later, all of the members were dressed and heading to Music Core. A huge bag of their change of clothes sat on your lap for their radio performance.

"Feeling better?" Lay asked, as he sat next to you. You nodded numbly, and he didn't bother you again. Inside, you started doing EXO's hair and makeup. When you got to Se Hun, and he handed you packet of hair dye.

"What? More hair dye? You're going to ruin your hair." He pouted at your remark.

"But earlier today you said that Lu Han and I could have matching purple hair." No recollection of this conversation came to mind as you stared at him. It must have been the thing you said okay to when you weren't paying attention to him. You sighed as you put the hair dye die in, and then the same hair die for Lu Han.

Soon they were on stage, and you were standing back stage, slightly watching them, and slightly zoning out.

"Hey, look what the cat dragged in." A familiar voice rang in your ears, and you cringed. You turned around and faced him for the first time in years.

"I thought that rats weren't allowed in here..." He tapped his chin thoughtfully.

"Myungsoo. You look a little different." You tilted your head like you were trying to think, and then clapped your hands together. "Oh that's right! Last time I saw you, you were lying on the ground, unconscious."

He scoffed at you. "It's L now." His unmistakably bright idol clothes popped out at you, and his stage name clicked in.

You squinted your eyes at him, staring at his face. "Wow, that bruise must have healed well. That, or plastic surgery. Seems like something you might need."

You didn't know where this calm and aloof persona came from, but you were glad of it. Half of you wanted to break down and cry, and the other half wanted to sock him in the face, and replace the bruise that was no longer there.

"It's such a shame that you're here. I thought maybe once you left you had killed yourself, done us all a favor. You know, like your brother."

His words were the last straw. Preparing to knock the smirk of his face, you reeled back. His hand lashed out and grabbed your arm before you could punch him. He shoved you backward until your back hit a wall. He easily dodged your kicks as you attempted to struggle.

"What are you even doing here? The gay bar is down the street, if you're looking for it." He sneered the words in your face as you grimaced in response. His breath smelled just like him, bad.

"Hey! Get off her!" A voice made itself clear from behind you as footsteps suddenly entered your ears. Lay, you thought, about to let out a sigh of relief until you realized his efforts would be worthless. Myungsoo didn't seem like the weak person he once was anymore. Lay tried to shove Myungsoo, or L, away from you, but he wasn't strong enough. Myungsoo flicked Lay off like he was a fly. Lay came back a second time, this time with the aid of the rest of EXO, who had been slower to react. Kris grabbed Myungsoo's arm, and pried it off of you. Tao then grabbed his other arm and they dragged him away. Myungsoo put his arms up.

"What's wrong, guys? Just trying to rid the building of rats." He smiled, while built up anger made your body feel like it was going to explode.

"That's the same thing we were trying to do." Kris said and shoved Myungsoo further down the hallway. Myungsoo slipped out of his grip, and walked down the hall. Before he could turn the corner, he turned back around and looked at you.

"See you later, ugly duckling." He winked at you, before slipping around the corner. You started after Myungsoo, but Lay blocked your way as he pulled you against his chest. 

"Shh, it's okay," Lay gently whispered into your ear, hoping to calm you. In response, you immediately shoved him away. He wasn't helping at all.

"Just leave me alone." Not caring what anyone thought, you ran in the opposite direction. Choked sobs echoed throughout the hallway as you continued to run, tears streaked down your face. Once you found your way outside, you found yourself in an abandoned alleyway. A long overdue, frustrated scream erupted from your throat as all of your frustration, anger, and sadness poured into that upset wail. As it echoed in the alley, it was a painful reminder of the emotions that continued to overflow out of you. 

{A/N: Hey guys! You may have noticed an extra name next to mine for the author of this story. That's because  -ivory is now an editor/co-writer of this story! I'm so thankful to have her, she's an extremely talented writer and editor. If you notice improvement, it's because she's so amazing. 

Oh, I want to mention that in no way at all do I mean to bash Myungsoo/L/Infinite. I love Infinite, and I just needed an idol to use. I hope Myungsoo isn't like that in real life because I want to marry him. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed!}