I can't think clearly again. Darn! What's wrong with my brain? Has it dried up because of this freaking hot weather? I just sat here in front of my computer to continue the manuscript that I've been working on for the past two weeks but it seems that I'm having a mental block. I've just been staring at that blinking cursor for the past hour. I've been like this since last night. My editor is already nagging me for updates about my new novel. What can I do? I might be running out of ideas of what to write.

                Should I go out? I shake my head. I certainly don't feel like going out at the moment. And where would I go at this hour? It's already half past one in the morning.

                I'm always up around this time. Like a vampire, I'm awake when all of the people in this part of the planet sleep. This is the perfect time for me to concentrate on my stories, without any distractions. And I love staring at the night sky, the moon, and the sparkling stars. That is why I positioned my computer table in front of the big window in my room. The darkness gives me this calming feeling inside me. Seeing the stars shining brightly in the sky tells me how small the world is, that in another part of the world, someone could see the same stars I'm looking at. That particular someone that always haunts all my waking and sleeping moments.

                My gaze wanders to the table at my side, to the set of framed photographs that I carefully aligned so that I would easily see him whenever I'm feeling out of the weather, lonely, tired, lazy, or just out of ideas of what to do. His kind eye smile, beautiful pair of lips that can make the most beautiful smile in the world, his perfect jaw line, his hair, his complexion... I heave a sigh. I would never run out of adjectives to describe how perfect this man has always been, at least in my eyes. Those are the things that always make me feel better whenever I'm feeling negative.

                He's my inspiration and motivation in writing all the stories that I have written and I'm going to write in the future. It's actually amazing how he has helped me in so many ways, how big of an impact he has made in my life without him being aware of it. But I know I'm not the only one. There are probably thousands of girls who feel the same way about him as much as I do. Probably the only difference between me and those girls is that I've known him even before he became the star that he is today. I've heard him sing long before the whole world heard his gentle, angelic voice. I've loved him long before the world recognized his talents, when he was just an ordinary student as I was.

                Lee Jinki. I like to call him with his real name, not with his stage name Onew. That is how I first knew him in the first place. When he was still an ordinary boy who loved music as much as I did. It was the time when I used to believe that it was still possible for him to notice me, that there could be a love story that was written for only the two of us.

                We were classmates from middle school to high school.

                I used to hate living in this part of Seoul. I had wanted to live in the countryside where my grandparents lived. It was more peaceful there, more quiet. I hated noise. I hated the unstableness of living in the city.

                But it all changed when I saw him entering our classroom door on that first day in my first year in middle school. He looked really shy then but he had the most beautiful smile that I had ever seen in my life. He greeted everyone politely even though he didn't know most of us in the class. When he looked at my direction, he stared directly into my eyes, showed me his cute eye smile, and bowed politely without breaking the eye contact. At that moment, my heart started to beat like crazy. I knew I liked him at first sight. And right from that moment, I cared for the first time if I'm likable or not.

                During those days, many people said that I was the girl counterpart of Jinki. Starting from our name that is only one character different, my name is Lee Jini. They said that we both exuded a calm and gentle nature.  We also looked very innocent to the ways of the world because when we smile, we made people think as if the earth is such a great place to live in.

                I never believed those lies. I didn’t make as much impact as Jinki did. I was not that noticeable. Plenty of times, I knew I was invisible.

                I know I'm quite forgettable. I'm not strikingly beautiful; I'm not even cute. I'm not fashionable and I like wearing simple and comfortable clothes, in other words, plain t-shirts and jeans. I would never stand out if put in a crowd of girls. I've always been just an ordinary girl.

I didn't excel in anything in particular either, whether in sports or academics. I didn't have any special talent that I could show off to other people. Or maybe I had, I was just darn too shy and introverted to have the guts to do it.

                Which I kind of regret until now. I shut my eyes to block the memories but they keep coming back to me.

                The only thing that I would admit that was similar between the two of us is our love for music.

                I had a chance to be walking on the same road that Jinki is walking on now. But stupid me just threw it down the drain.

I was there the same day Jinki got casted by SM Entertainment to be one of their trainees. I had the opportunity to audition like he did. But I walked away from that opportunity. It’s not that I was not confident, though it could be a small part of it. I knew I was talented enough to be casted as a trainee. I just saw the life ahead if I continued walking that road. I knew about the harsh training, the restless days, the humiliation if I didn’t meet the expectations of people, then afterwards, the lack of privacy, the lack of freedom. I didn’t want that. I just wanted a simple life with no complications.

That same day, as I turned my back in the auditions, I knew I was also turning my back on Jinki. And I lost all hope for a happy ever after with him.

But that didn’t stop me from loving him. As the years passed, my feelings for him have blossomed into something that I could never give up no matter what.

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A/N: I hope to get comments so that I'd be able to know whether I should continue this or not.

Take note of the colors. Point of views change depends on the colors.. :)