Three years ago, the news was a nightmare when he broke it to her. It still was. Every night she woke up screaming, yearning for her husband’s touch, waiting for him to be there for her when she woke up and cry in the middle of the night.

“Go away!” She kicked and flailed on the bed, running away from something that was never there. Her face scrunched in horror.

YongGuk woke up next to her, pulling her up into his arm and hugged her tight. His strong arms holding her close to his own, letting her feel his touch as he her back, hinting her that she was not alone.

“Shhh! Baby! It’s alright… It’s alright. I’m here” Kisses were showered on her face. She finally stopped resisting when she heard his soothing voice and fell back asleep again in his arms like a child. He carefully placed her on her pillow again, only this time with his arms around her waist, letting her breath into his chest as she dozed off again.

The only thing that changed whenever she woke up in the middle of the night was the fact that those dreams were never about monsters or ghosts anymore. They were always about him and he was never there to pick her up in his arms again until she fell asleep.

Jieun paced slowly towards the door to their bedroom, opening it and leaded herself out from the room that seemed to be too big for her alone now. She settled in on the sofa in the living room. Her gaze darted on the old grandfather clock in one corner of their room. Tears started to well as she thought about her life again. Somehow it was too empty for her own liking. She stood up again and grabbed the remote control to the PA system, turning it on. ‘Dancing in The Burning Room’ came on.

‘My dear we’re slow dancing in the burning room….’

YongGuk had his arms fixed around her waist and she had hers on his shoulder as they swayed back and forth to the music. She had her face pressed on his chest as she listened to his heartbeat. It was so melodic that she once told him that his heartbeat was her favorite song. Her lips curved into a small smile. He propped his chin on the tip of her head, smelling her scent as their body moved to the beat of the song, rocking back and forth. They loved to dance in the middle of the night, cuddling and swaying.

“YongGukkie” She called. Her voice came out a little hoarse and raspy.

“Yes, princess?” He smiled. She couldn’t help but to giggle at his endearment to her. She thought it was childish and adorable at the same time.

“I love you” She phrased it.

“I love you more”

She swayed to the music, letting her arms wrapped around her own tiny frame; her eyes closed as she imagined his visual in front of her. It was not much, but it helped. For even just a little bit, it did help.

Three years of waiting. He never came back. The day he wore his uniform and left the house with tears in his eyes, that was the last day that she ever saw him ever again. He said he would come back. He promised her he would come back. So she waited for him on their door step every single night. Every once a week, she would hear it from him from his handwritten letter and sometimes if she got lucky, she could hear his voice from a barely one minute phone call. Each time a gunshot was heard, she would be so frightened and he had to hang up. He would always tell her that he was alright. He would tell her that things had gotten worse at the campsite but he was okay. A few months later she stopped receiving letters from him. She didn’t know why, but they never came.

She heard somebody was knocking on the door so she peeled the apron off and left the kitchen running for her lover that might came back. When she got to the door, it turned out to be the postman. She received her letter and thanked the man. So she settled down on the sofa and patiently opened the mail with fluttered heart. She couldn’t wait to read what her husband might want to say to her after a while of not sending her mails.

‘We’re sorry to inform you that Commander Bang YongGuk had been announced as ‘Missing In Action’. We lose track of him in the war between South Korea and North Korea and unfortunately we had to pack back home without him with us. His bravery for serving for the country in the war will greatly remembered. Our greatest condolence is for you’