Well, I didn't meet Kiseop nor Hoon over the weekend. Trusth is, I'm confused. Seriously. I mean, I know, or I think I do, love Kiseop. I felt my heartbeat race, blush, and all those cliches around him. But then again that day I also felt the same way when I'm with Hoon.

So I googled it. Yeah, well, you don't expect a girl like me to be an expert on these stuffs, right? Anyway, the net stated that there's one thing that's a certain sign of love, spark. Yeah, it appears when you talk to him, touch him, hug, and kiss him. Problem is: I felt no spark with either of them. GOD, I need to stop this! All I could think about is them and them only!!

Oh, and one other thing. I've had an urge to paint something. It's a picture of a guy and a girl together. In my mind, the girl was me, and I painted so, but the guy... Weird as it is, 'he' didn't have a face.. yet? You see, he has this casual and chic aura of Kiseop, but also a postitive and cheerful vibe that Hoon has. I. AM. GETTING. NOWHERE.

I sighed and tried to shoo away the frown that's formed on my face as I walk into my school and headed to my class on Monday morning. I was already in the class and a few steps away from my seat when suddenly a pair of hands closed my eyes. Crap. I have to guess. I'm gonna be dead if I said the wrong name. I mean, the other guy could possibly be my one!

"Umm," I trailed off and thought, Kiseop has been to my class countless of times, and Hoon.. He's new.. right? so,"Kiseop?"

"Morning!" He beamed at me and sit beside me. "You know, I was supposed to spend some 'quality time' with you, but since some certain problems I had yesterday.." He said, whispering on the 'problem' part. "What do you say we watch some DVDs at my or your place?"

"Sure, it's been a while since I visit your house," I said. We've done it million of times, and I need to figure my feelings anyway. Maybe it could be any good to spend some time with Kiseop?

"Kay, see ya!" He patted my head and left as the bell rung. I sighed as I slumped into my seat, knowing precisely that nothing is going to be able to get into my brain, particularly lessons. I didn't even bother getting my notebooks out.

"Hey. Been waiting long?" Kiseop said as he got beside me. I just shook my head and we walked to his house talking about small things.

We decided to watch some random movie, which unfortunately turned out to be a tragic-romance sort of thing.

Kiseop was sitting indian style on the floor, leaning his back on the sofa while I sat on his lap-slash-feet stretching my feet out. 

Kiseop put his hands around me and, I swear I felt a spark. But, wasn't it just some electron movement or something? I learned that in Physics? Whatevs.

But suddenly my face and body felt hot, so I pushed his arms off me as smoothly as I could, and excused myself to the restroom.

COULD IT BE LOVE??!!!! I'm stressed, SOMEONE HELP! I steadied my somehow fast heartbeat, took a deep breath and walked back with an uneasy heart.

Finally, the stupid movie ended. I didn't even understand the story, due to my fast-beat-blushing-sweating thingy.

We decided to have dinner at his place and since he lives alone we had to make it by ourselves, so we went to the supermarket to get some ingridients.

We were strolling across the place, Kiseop with the trolley and me with the list. "See, we've got milk, eggs, ..., onions, practically all we needed except.. soy sauce andd tomato sauce." I read off it.

"Here it is," Kiseop mumbled as he put a bottle of tomato sauce to the trolley and we both spotted the soy sauce and.. Our hands clashed! No big deal? BIG DEAL!!!!!! I FELT IT AGAIN I SWEAR!!!!!!! The spark! But I don't know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do me and Hoon have sparks also?!! I mean, I was too scared at the stupid haunted house and too excited at the roller coaster to notice! UGH.

"Okay, let's go to the cashier," I said after clearing my throat.

I was chopping the veggies and he was beating the egg. We were doing it in silence, only sounds of the knife hitting the cutting board and spoon on the bowl could be heard. Suddenly, he spoke up,"Sangrae-yah,"

"Neh?" I said, focusing on my knife.

"Still like word jumbles?" Oh, yes, word jumbling. It's what brought us close together. Weird, huh? It was on the first day of school and I was solving some jumbles in the library when this popular guy I didn't know sat beside me and we became closer and closer ever since, till I.. fall in love?

"Sure, why would I stop? And why are you asking?" I still focused on my knife, fearing I'll cut myself if I look away.

"Nothing, just wanna know. Here, I'm done." He handed me the eggs. Yes, I'm the one cooking. You would too, if you've ever even looked at his creation of lumps of garbage he called 'food'.

I cooked a decent dinner and we ate it together on the couch since none of us likes eating on the table. We were watching some reality show and commenting on it and laughing on our comments.

My thought wander again.

What if I choose Hoon? Can I still do these? No. It'd be awkward and unfair for Kiseop.

What if I don't choose at all? It's great, no one will get hurt, but I don't want to be a freaky single old gran someday, ew.

Sangrae's feeling status: Still uknown.

Kiseop offered to walk me home, and I hate the darkness so I accepted it. We were walking slowly, me deep in thought, again.

Kiseop has always been my protector, brother, and best friend. He loves me, anyone can see that, not to boast.

Hoon, he likes me. I don't know if he loves me but I like him back. I love both of them! Can I love both of them?!

"Sangrae-yah," He said, breaking my chain of thoughts. "Mmm?" I answered in reflex.

"What do you think of Hoon?" He asked. Why did he have to ask NOW, of all times, when I'm completely torn??!!!

"He's a good person," I played safe.

"Come on, define 'good'." Kiseop nudged me.

"I don't know, I just met him once, right?" Please don't ask anymore!! You're making me nervous for no reason!!

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. By the way, since you said he was 'good', wanna hang out with us tomorrow?" Well, I've spent time with him, Hoon, why not try both? I've nothing to lose anyway.

"Okay," I said, as we arrived in front of my house. 

"Okay then, see you tomorrow," He kissed my cheek and left me, once more, stunned.