CHANYEOL

Seeing Tao and his mother like that had made me feel emotional. It almost reminded me of my sister and I, just in a different circumstance.

He came up shortly and started pulling out a futon for me.

I sat down onto the futon after he set it up and he went over to his dressing table.

“I can lend you some pyjamas but I think your body is a bit bigger than mine and you may not fit into them…” He turned back and looked at me awkwardly.

“It’s okay, I’ll just sleep in these track suit pant’s I’m wearing.” He nodded, before proceeding to take off his shirt and replacing it with another. He was skinny, like I already knew he was.

I quickly averted my eyes when he turned around. “I’m turning out the lights.”

“Yeah. Okay.” I laid down and heard Tao settle down into his bed.

“You know… I’d never think I’d be this sick.” Tao whispered to me in the darkness. I’d always loved sleeping at friends’ houses. I loved quiet conversation, accompanied by the darkness.

“Are you afraid…?” I asked back to him. He was silent for a moment.

“Not yet.” He sighed. I didn’t understand or know how he was feeling. It frustrated me. I didn’t know how he was reacting to all this. So maybe I wasn’t able to help him.

“You’re brave. I believe in you.” Although I couldn’t see him, it was almost like I could hear him smiling.

“Can I come sleep next to you?”

“Yeah.”

I lifted up the blanket and he shortly came and laid down beside me. He put his back against me and we spooned. It’s a comforting position. I laid my arm over his and intertwined our fingers.

“I believe in you too, you know, Chanyeol. My lovely Jadongcha.” We laughed and I kissed his clothed back.

“I know you do and goodnight, Sayongja.”

TAO

When I woke up, Chanyeol was breathing into my neck, one of his legs over mine. I tried to wiggle away from him but he hold onto me tighter.

“Chanyeol...” I whispered into his ear and he shivered. I laughed a little bit. A rested back down into the futon. “I need to go to the toilet.”

“Just pee here.” He mumbled back.

“Ew, don’t be disgusting. I’ll be back okay?” He nodded and rolled off of me and opened his eyes.

“Cute .” He commented. I whirled back to look at him and so he winked at me.

I headed downstairs and quickly went to the toilet. I was feeling sick, as though I may throw up. But I ignored the feeling and made my way to the kitchen to grab a drink of water. Something wasn’t right though. There was alcohol on the bench, alcohol that I hadn’t seen my mother touch in a while.

I headed to the lounge room, where I found my mother laying on the couch. The TV was on, but I don’t think she was watching it.

“Mum? Are you drunk?” I sat by her feet and she looked at me with lazy eyes.

“Yep.”

“Why?” She was never like this.

“The results came back. You’ve got cancer.”

I already knew. I knew it was going to happen to me. I knew it was.

“Mum, you can’t do this. Didn’t I tell you yesterday, that you need to be strong?”

She sighed. I heard someone cough from behind me. Chanyeol had come down the stairs quietly and scared me.

He had his stuff in his hands, signalling that he was going home. I pulled him toward the door and led him into the warm morning air.

“I’ve been diagnosed. I have it.” I watched as Chanyeol rubbed his left hand over his face in frustration and sadness. He then put his hand on my shoulder, his thumb lingering on my collar bone. He pulled me in and kissed me.

I reached up, putting both of my arms around his neck and kissed him back.

Our tongues met, and the kiss was deepened.

He caressed the small of my back and I moved my hands to the nape of his neck.

Soon, Chanyeol pulled away and rested our foreheads rested together.

“I have to go.” He muttered. I kissed him again lightly and let go of him. I watched as he slightly staggered down the pathway to my front gate.

Chanyeol was going to keep me strong. With him, I have hope.