“I want us to break up.”

The lightning on the sky. You were so scared that you finally covered your ears with your hands. Luhan walked up to you and he tried to cover your ears as well. For some seconds, there were many lightning and you closed your eyes tightly. You were always afraid of lightning, and you were afraid that what you had heard was true.

You heard very clearly that Luhan asked a break up from you.

That was the thing you didn’t even want to hear.

And why did he ask it from you?

As soon as the lightning gone, he took his hands away and he just stared at you. he didn’t smile, he didn’t laugh. He didn’t look that he was happy. He looked sad and worried. And you could see it all his feelings through his delicate eyes. The situation suddenly became awkward.

You pretended that you didn’t hear anything before. You coughed. “Let’s eat the cake!” you tried to sound cheerful. You were about to take the cake from the table but Luhan held your hand. At last you stared at his eyes again.

“You heard me.” He said with his soft voice. It sounded so weak.

“Heard what? I didn’t hear anything.” You laughed nervously. Of course you were lying, right now.

Luhan looked at you right into your eyes. “I want us to break up.”

You heard those words out from his mouth once again. Your ears didn’t play some tricks on you.

This all was true.

Luhan asked a break up.

Why couldn’t you breathe properly?

“But, why?” you asked with your shaky voice. You wanted to stare back at him but you lost most of your energy without you knowing. You looked away.

Luhan sighed hard. He was silent for a while and finally he spoke up. “I found this in Sehunnie’s room.” He let out a photo from his jacket pocket. You turned around and saw what was in his hand. It was a selca of you with Sehun in his grandfather’s birthday party. You made an ugly face and Sehun beside you just laughed happily. There was nothing wrong with the photo, but there was something written behind it.

‘Noona, even if you make an ugly face, I like you so much.’

You were frozen. What was this all about?

You looked up to see Luhan’s expression. He stared at you blankly.

“Sehunnie likes you.” Luhan laughed shakily. It was really awkward and you never had him laughing like that before. It sounded like sad and frustrated. “Oh, right. He likes you.” he added, and made his laughing sound more awkward.

So, he knew about it? You got afraid. Did he also see you and Sehun hours ago? You’re afraid Luhan would get hurt if he knew it. To your surprise, he said

“I saw you two earlier…in front of the bus shelter...” his voice wasn’t filled with energy. O-oh.

You were panicked. “Lu, I can explain this to you. I—“

“I know he would do that.” He laughed awkwardly. His face looked so sad, but he kept staring at you. “I know him too well and I just know what he would do next.” He added. “You don’t need to explain anything. Everything’s clear.”

Clear? What did he mean? You thought.

“What are you saying?”

 “I can’t help it if it goes to what Sehunnie wants….”

You widened your eyes in shock. “What do you mean?”

Luhan stared at you. “Sehunnie likes you, he wants you...”

“So, you will throw me away to him?” you raised your voice as you got what he said. Luhan went silent for some seconds. You got your eyes teary. You felt your heart hurt so much. “I don’t believe you did this to me.” you mumbled, disappointed.

Luhan put his hands on your shoulders and stared at your face. “I want to see Sehunnie happy. And I know you’re all what he wants. I can’t stay still and don’t do anything since I know what his hope is. He likes you and he wants you to like him back.”

“Stop saying that he likes me.” you cut him off. “Does it make sense? You want us to break up and it’s all because of him?” you laughed awkwardly. It hurt you so much, all the words he said. You tried your best not to cry in front of him.

“I can’t help it if it goes to what Sehunnie wants.”

That reason.

Oh my God. Luhan had to stop to treat Sehun like a little kid.

This was just shocked you even more.

“And you don’t even think about my feelings? You don’t even think about what will happen to me?” Your heart hurt so much even when you looked at his face. Those delicate eyes which were staring at you, their lights were dim. Those delicate eyes just told you honesty, which their owner didn’t even say.

“You’ll be alright. I know it’s okay with us.” Luhan said bitterly. You could see his eyes teary. “And… I’ll be okay as well….”

You shook your head. “You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

And at that time, a tear fell down on his cheek. And you wiped the tear away and felt something punch you in the stomach. He himself seemed like didn’t want this to happen. But, why did he keep saying want to see his younger cousin happy? Why didn’t he think about himself first? Why didn’t he think about your feelings first? Why didn’t he think about you two first? Why did he have to think about his younger cousin first? Was it because his cousin was more important? Why did he keep treating his cousin like a little kid and give everything he wants?

Luhan held your hand which was on his face and put it down. He took a deep breathe. “I know you can make Sehunnie happy. Please make him happy.”

“No. I can’t do that.” You replied directly.

His delicate eyes looked even sadder. “Can you do it for me?”

You couldn’t hold back the tears. You didn’t answer him and just cried. You didn’t believe that your boyfriend asked you to leave him to make his other guy happy. It did sound crazy, but you knew all that Luhan did was sincere, deep down from his heart. You knew he did it not because he actually wanted to leave you, but he had no choice. It was the one choice left.

That he had to leave you.

That was the last time that he hugged you tightly after wiping away your tears. You felt yourself very empty as he pulled away. He stared at your face once again, ruffled your hair and planted a kiss on your forehead. And as the lightning once again, he left to the door without saying anything.

You felt that the lightning had broken your fragile heart. You fell to the floor and sobbed hard. You didn’t know how to make your heart better. You didn’t know how. You just knew that someone who had half of your heart had left you.

Sehun couldn’t concentrate to read his books he just bought with you hours ago. He kept thinking about your sudden leaving. He even didn’t follow you, because he himself was hurt. It was because you were saying that you didn’t want you two to meet again. It’s frustrating to hear that from you. What could he do? He, of course, always wanted to see you. He felt that it wouldn’t be right if he couldn’t see you, even for one second. Seeing you just made his heart calm, made him happier. He never experienced something like this before and he decided to follow his heart. That’s why he confessed to you, that’s why he wanted you to know his true feelings.

“Oh, Hyung. You’re finally home.”

Sehun heard Jongin said as they heard the door opened. Luhan appeared with wet hair. He seemed like he ran through the rain. He was soaked, and he was also out of breath. The cousins of his just stared at him in confusion, but Luhan just gave them a little smile.

“What happened to you, Hyung? You’re drenched?” Jongdae asked while was holding a cup of hot chocolate. He took a seat next to Baekhyun who was busy playing a game in his phone. Chanyeol looked at the cup of chocolate Jongdae’s holding admiringly, seemed like he wanted one cup for himself.

Luhan was still smiling. “I missed…the bus.”

Sehun furrowed eyebrows in confusion because he always knew that his Hyung never missed the bus. Anyway, where did he go? Sehun didn’t need to ask because he already knew, that his Hyung was going to meet you, because today was Sunday. Only his Hyung who didn’t join them in Sunday, just because he already had a date. Sehun then thought about you again. He glanced at Luhan. Did she tell Hyung about what I did? That I kissed and hugged her? he thought worriedly. Hyung would be mad at me. I would be dead if he finds out about the kiss and hug. But Luhan didn’t give any signs that he knew something. He even looked at Sehun like usual.

“How was the date?” this time, it was Yifan who asked.

Jongin who was sitting beside Yifan nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, how was the date?”

Luhan just smiled a little, but he looked a bit sad, and Sehun didn’t understand why. “It was wonderful, as always.” He answered.

Minseok chuckled. “Oh, I’m very envious of you~” he said. “I bet she cooked delicious dish for you again?” he blinked his eyes.

“She always does it, Hyung.” Luhan replied shyly.

Sehun frowned. He somehow wanted you to cook him dishes, too. Oh, he was being so childish here.

“You’re so lucky to have her.” Kyungsoo commented.

Luhan nodded and smiled like a little kid. “I am.”

Oh, so I’m not lucky? Sehun frowned even more.

“Now change your clothes or you will catch a cold and your dear girlfriend would be worried about you.” Tao blurted out. Joonmyun and Yixing who were sitting beside him chuckled.

Catch a cold? Sehun blinked.

He instantly thought about you. What if you caught a cold? You just walked into the rain without even using any umbrellas! Were you alright right now? You didn’t catch a cold, right? it had been hours passed, he hoped you were okay. But, he couldn’t feel calm until he could see you by himself.

Because of that thought, Sehun rose from his seat and ran to the door.

“Hey, Sehun, where are you going?” Yixing shouted.

“I just remember about something.” Sehun grabbed an umbrella next to the door and walked passed Luhan. “I’m leaving, Hyung.” He said before he closed the door.

Sehun didn’t see that Luhan just smiled bitterly at him.

“Noona?” Sehun knocked at your door. He had rang the bell for uncounted times in some minutes. You seemed that you were not home. Sehun was confused. Where were you? This was even made him worried that he couldn’t see you soon. He then asked to some of your neighbors and they said that they didn’t see you. You probably went to your family house, or maybe busy in your work place. But you said to him this morning that you didn’t go to work and you didn’t have a plan to visit your family today.

Sehun grew impatient as he then grabbed your door knob. He widened his eyes in shock when he knew your door was unlocked. So, she’s inside? He thought. He then walked in without any hesitation.

“Noona..?” he called you out. Your flat was so quiet. It was more like nobody home. Sehun could see a small cake on the table, which was not eaten for some time. He also could see some dirty plates and glasses on the table. And…

He could see you, lying down on the floor, unconscious.

“NOONA!”

Sehun ran to you quickly. He had you in his embrace as he touched your face. You were burning up. He became more scared.

“Noona, Noona… please open your eyes... ”

He carried you up to the sofa. Although his knees were so trembling, he quickly went to the kitchen to find bowl of cold water and a small towel. He was so weak at this time, he kept thinking that anything bad would happen to you. He was so afraid. He was already back with the cold water and wet towel and he quickly put the towel on your forehead. For some more time, your body temperature was back to normal. Sehun sighed in relief. He held your hand tightly.

“You made me worried, Noona. You better wake up soon.” He ruffled your hair lovingly. He scanned over your facial feature. He just felt butterflies in his stomach. He realized that he really liked you. It meant a problem, what’s about his Hyung? How could he explain this to him? It’s like this time, Sehun really wanted to have you by his side. He wanted to protect you, he wanted to be always beside you. He wanted to always see you so his heart would be satisfied.

He wanted you.

How to explain this to his Hyung?

Those thoughts drove him to sleep.

Luhan was the first person you thought after you opened your eyes. Those scenes filled your mind. You and he were officially broke-up. You felt your heart hurt as you remembered that fact. Your head also hurt so much. You wanted to move as you felt something on your forehead. It was small towel. You blinked. How could I get it on my forehead? You thought. You didn’t know what had happened. You were drenched hours ago, but you felt okay. The effect of the heavy rain just hit you in some more hours. You were burning up and felt so dizzy. You tried to reach the sofa and took a seat but finally you fell to the floor unconscious.

You were trying to get up as you felt something soft beside you. You were like touching someone’s hair. You tried to look who the person was. When you saw the hair color with your blurry eyes, you thought it was Luhan’s.

But, it’s Sehun’s.

You felt your heart dropped. You took away your hand from his head as you noticed that he was sleeping soundly. You felt so blue, that kid that made you break up with your boyfriend was here, taking care of you while you were sick. You wanted to scold him so bad. You wanted him to leave your flat immediately because you didn’t want to see him ever again. But, what could you do? He, seemed like he was the one who took care of you here. Then you remembered what Luhan said earlier to you. He believed that you could make Sehun happy, and you could do it for him.

Can you do it for me?

Luhan’s voice echoed in your head.

You didn’t realize that you shed a few tears.

“Noona, you’re awake?” Sehun had woken up from his sleep. He looked sleepy but he looked worried as well. He looked at you intently. He was surprised to see tears on your cheeks. “Noona, why are you crying?” he asked.

“Why are you here?” you didn’t answer his question. He looked hurt to hear your question, you sounded that you didn’t want him here, but he curled a smile.

“I’m worried about you, Noona.” You knew he said those words sincerely.

“Don’t be.” You looked away and saw the wall clock. It was 10 pm. “You must go home, Sehun.” You gazed at him.

He didn’t say anything and suddenly he had his hand on your forehead. You were frozen to see his action. He acted like a caring boyfriend, actually. He did the same as what Luhan always did when you were sick. And somehow Sehun just resembled Luhan, he looked like Luhan in some ways. And now you’re thinking that Luhan was here with you, not Sehun. You’re thinking that it’s Luhan who was touching your forehead, not Sehun. You’re thinking that it’s Luhan who was taking care of you, not Sehun.

Well, you’re fantasying too much.

“I’m glad you’re okay now.” He said, sounded so relieved. He took his hand away from your forehead. After that, you felt empty. What’s wrong with you? Did you really think that the guy with you now is Luhan? It’s hard to get over him from your head, like really, he’s the only one whom you loved.

“It’s getting late, you should go home.” you looked away once again.

“Alright.” Sehun rose from his seat. He seemed understand that you didn’t want to talk to him at this time. “I’ve cooked you porridge. You can eat it and don’t forget to take your medicine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You didn’t reply as he walked toward the door. You felt that he was glancing at you before he closed the door. You sighed. Heard what he said? It’s like he’s going to see you again tomorrow.

Aish.

You couldn’t make him stay away from you.

Sehun’s cousins were all boys, and they liked gossiping about many things like girls did. But, they refused to call it gossiping, it’s more like discussing. They liked to discuss about many things, and this weekend’s hot topic was no other than their own cousin, Luhan.

They were in Sehun’s room as usual, except Luhan who was being talked. He said he couldn’t come today because he was busy doing something. No one knew what he was doing.

“Do you know what happened to Luhan Hyung?” Baekhyun started the discussion. He stared at his cousins. These cousins of his looked clueless and they kept eating snacks they bought an hour ago in a minimarket near Sehun’s house.

“No!” Chanyeol looked enthusiastic. “Tell us! Tell us!” he said as he ate the chips. No wonder Chanyeol was so curious.

“He looks alright, anyway.” Kyungsoo furrowed eyebrows in confusion. “I don’t think something happened to him.”

Baekhyun laughed in victory. “You’re wrong, Kyungsoo~”

“So, you know something about him? How could you know?” Tao looked curious.

“I’m Byun Baekhyun, I know many things you guys don’t know.” Baekhyun said proudly and laughed. The others just sneered at his words.

“Tell us then.” Suho ordered.

“Okay.” Baekhyun cleared his throat and started to speak. “Luhan Hyung is so busy due to his thesis...”

“Hey, all of us know that.” Yifan interrupted. “Don’t tell us something we all know. It’ll be no fun.” He added annoyingly.

“Don’t interrupt me!” Baekhyun looked annoyed. “You guys should listen to me. it’s the important part.” He said in very very slow voice.

Yixing looked bored. “Okay, tell us.”

Baekhyun cleared his throat once again. “Luhan Hyung is so busy. He even doesn’t do his part time job anymore. His parents told him to focus only to his thesis. Luhan Hyung of course does what his parents want. He goes to library often, and I see him having full concentration in doing his essay.”

“Oh, Luhan Hyung is working very hard.” Jongdae looked amazed.

“He’s really a hard worker.” Minseok commented.

Baekhyun nodded in response. “But, that’s not the important thing I’m going to tell you though.” He smiled mysteriously.

“What? What is it then?” Chanyeol looked confused.

Baekhyun was way too expressive as he told the story. “That day I went to Luhan Hyung’s flat. He was out to buy some snacks for me as I was left alone. He left his phone, so, yeah…” he stopped talking, waiting his cousins’ responses.

“What did you see?” Joonmyun blinked.

“You must be figuring something out.” Yifan guessed.

“That’s right.” Baekhyun nodded once again.

Jongdae narrowed his eyes. “What did you find?”

“Luhan Hyung had broken up with his girlfriend.”

“WHAAAT?”

What? Sehun was the only person who stayed silent for the whole story and now he was freaking shocked. Hey, is that true? How could that happen? Sehun thought hard. He didn’t even notice the changing. It’s been 2 weeks since the day he confessed to you, and he often met you like usual. You acted a bit different to him, but he was relieved that you still could meet him. It was enough for him, for this time. But, you were bit different. You never talked about Luhan anymore, not like what you usually did. He was too late to notice that you looked gloomy everyday, you barely smiled and laughed. Is that because of she broke up with Hyung? Sehun blinked. Is that really?

“How— you checked Hyung’s phone, didn’t you, Baek?” Kyungsoo asked. Baekhyun nodded in response.

“They never texted each other for about two weeks. Luhan Hyung never gave her calls, and neither did she. The last call is two weeks ago. And the last message is from her saying that Luhan Hyung shouldn’t be worried about her anymore, that she would be doing well. And she said farewell. That’s it.” Baekhyun explained.

“I can’t believe they broke up! They made a perfect couple!” Yixing looked disappointed.

“Luhan Hyung had introduced her to our family and his parents. It looks like everyone agreed about their relationship, and now they just broke up. Aish..” Joonmyun looked sad.

Sehun was thinking deeply. He was no longer in guilty if it was right that his Hyung had broken up with you. You were nobody’s, so it was like he could make you his. He couldn’t think clearly. He couldn’t think anything but you. You were all he thought of.

“I’m sure that’s why Luhan Hyung looks gloomy and he becomes bit quiet than usual.” Baekhyun concluded. “The first one, he has to work hard and focus on his thesis, and the second, he has broken up with his girlfriend.”

Chanyeol sighed. “I hope he’ll be okay.”

Everybody was talking about another topic, but Sehun was still immersed in that topic only.

Sehun didn’t think it was easy for him to make himself closer to you. Well, you two were so close to each other, but you didn’t treat him the same as before. You two went out together many times, you had dinner together, and he even picked you up in your work place and campus. Sehun realized that he was being all overprotective over you, acting like he was your boyfriend. You didn’t even comment about everything he did, but you never talked to him like he was your younger brother anymore. You never brought that topic up, but your stares for him were different. Sehun couldn’t describe what they were.

One day, he picked you up at your campus and you two went to your favorite bubble tea shop. After that, he walked you home like he always did every day in these past eight weeks. You didn’t talk much, you were like thinking about something and he didn’t get what it was. He then broke the silence between you two.

“Are you tired? You don’t talk much.” He said as you two almost reached your door.

You just smiled a little. “I’m fine.” You answered. “I’m just not in the mood to talk.”

“Why? Something is happening?” he asked, he grew curious and worried.

“No.” you shook your free hand and chuckled.

“You could tell me if something bothers you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, perhaps I could help you solve the problems.”

You chuckled once again. “Don’t worry. I have none to be worried about. Nothing bothers me.”

Sehun stared at you deeply as you two reached your door. “Really?”

You just nodded. “No need to worry.”

Sehun was falling deeper as he stared right into your eyes. Oh, his knees got weaker. Butterflies in his stomach, well, there were a lot. His heart beat faster and faster in his chest and he was afraid that his heart would explode. You were doing the same, just looking into his eyes without saying anything. He didn’t know why, but he then walked closer to you. He leaned in and touched your cheek.

He thought it would be the same as the kiss you shared on that rainy day. But, today, it was different. Just because you kissed him back. Sehun didn’t understand why but he just thought you finally accept him, that you finally had feelings for him. He couldn’t explain what he felt right now.  And after that, you two were officially dating.

Dating Oh Sehun was not one of your wishes, but finally you dated him officially. That kid was being so nice all the time to you. He was gentle and caring, and the most important thing, he changed into a mature guy. All his childish behavior was gone, and you didn’t know to react, Sehun changed because of you.  Maybe it was because he always wanted you to see him as a man, that you didn’t like a childish guy.

Your relationship with Sehun was longer than you’ve expected. It was almost two years. Sehun was graduated three weeks ago and he now worked in a big company. And he kept telling you his wish.

“I want to marry you.”

“Don’t joke around, Oh Sehun.”

“I’m not joking around. I’m serious.”

You looked at him and it was right, he didn’t look that he was joking. He leaned in and gave you a kiss on the forehead.

“Would you marry me?”

You were frozen at his words. You couldn’t say anything because of shocking words you got.  Sehun didn’t stop looking at you, he was waiting you to answer his question. His stares were full of hope. You were confused how to answer. You couldn’t lie to yourself.

You didn’t love this boy.

Luhan was still the one you loved.

You couldn’t make Sehun living his marriage life with you, the person who didn’t love him. It would hurt him even more if he found out your true feelings.

But, you didn’t want to make Sehun disappointed, just because you had feelings for him, as a Noona to her dongsaeng. You loved him the way a Noona loved her dongsaeng. It was never more than that.

I know you can make Sehunnie happy. Please make him happy.

Can you do it for me?

Luhan’s words were never failed to ruin your mind. Every decision you made ended up changed because you always thought about his words for you two years ago. All this time you had fulfilled his wish, to make his younger cousin happy. You even dated Sehun for two years, it was longer than your own relationship with Luhan. It was just about five months. Just five months but it seemed like you couldn’t forget Luhan forever. You still loved him till now.

What should you do? Should you marry Sehun?

You couldn’t think clearly as you nodded slowly. Sehun blinked many times.

“What’s the answer?” he asked.

You stared at him. You didn’t know it was the best decision now for you or not, but you couldn’t think any better decision. Thinking it was Luhan’s wish, you thought that was the last thing you could do for now. You felt your heart hurt.

“I do. I would marry you, Oh Sehun.”

You could see Sehun’s happy face. He smiled widely, brightly, a smile you’ve never seen before. You didn’t know where he got that velvet box and took out a ring from it. He put the ring inside your finger. You shed a few tears. You wished Luhan were the one who proposed to you right now. But, it was only in your dream. Sehun thought you were crying because of his proposal. He then hugged you after he wiped away your tears.

“Thank you. I’ll make you happy forever.”

The wedding day was in about a week. Today was the day you had to pick your wedding dress. Sehun came along with you and his cousin, Tao. Sehun had to pick tux, and Tao would help him. You and Sehun came to different section in the boutique. The employee leaded you to pick your wedding dress. The dresses were all pretty, and you started to be confused. You needed Sehun’s opinion, but you knew he was in different side of this boutique. It was hard to find him at this time, because there were many things you should do after this, all about the wedding, and you had to make this quick. You had to pick the best dress in a short time. You tried on some dresses but you were not satisfied. They just didn’t fit you well. You needed someone’s opinion so bad. You couldn’t decide it by yourself.

“Ah, I’m sorry.”

That soft voice made you turning your head. You felt your heart stopped beating for some seconds.

Luhan was here.

He looked confused as he blinked his eyes many times. His eyes were on you, who were putting on one of the dresses. He looked amazed. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Your heart was beating so fast in your chest. You wondered why he was here. The employee was called by her partner in the different room so she left you with Luhan. It was so awkward for some seconds just because it was the first time after two years you two were left just by two of you. In two years, you two never talked much, even if there were some family events. You just talked to other cousins, but not to Luhan.

You stared at his face.

You missed him so much that you wanted to hug him tightly.

“I should meet Sehun. He called me to come.” Luhan explained without you even asked, his eyes were still on your face.

“Oh..” that was just your response. He looked for Sehun, you thought.

“I thought he was here.” He added.

“No, he is in the other side of this boutique, picking a tux. Tao is with him.” you said.

“Oh.”

That was the most awkward situation you two ever had. You felt sad that you two would never be together like in the past. You two were just like strangers. Luhan should be the one who would marry you, not Sehun. That fact just hurt you even more. You wouldn’t spend your entire life with the one you loved the most. It was just heartbreaking.

“You look so… beautiful.” You heard him saying.

You looked up at him and you saw him smiling.

You missed that smile, too.

You got your eyes teary.

“Do you think this dress is good for me?” you asked bitterly.

Luhan nodded. “Of course. You look good.” He complimented. “Sehunnie would like this one very much.”

He brought up about Sehun.

Oh my.

“And what about you? Your opinion? Do I look good?” you asked him.

Luhan looked hesitated for a while. His delicate eyes looked straight into your eyes. “For me, you always look great.”

You breathed out hard. You didn’t understand why your heart hurt to hear his words. He said he had to find Sehun and he walked toward the door. But, he then stopped as he heard you saying

“I have fulfilled your wish, haven’t I?” you said bitterly. “This is all you want, right, Lu?”

Luhan was frozen. He didn’t say anything for some seconds. “You’re right, this is all I want.” You then hear him saying something.

You couldn’t breathe properly. You didn’t expect he would say those words. “But, I have done well, right? I’ve made him happy in these past two years. Can I say I’ve accomplished the mission? I shouldn’t do this wedding.” You laughed awkwardly.

Luhan turned his body and looked at you. “But this wedding would make him happier than before.”

“So I have to do another mission, huh?” you sighed.

Luhan looked at you in a sad look. “I know you can do this. I know you—“

“Stop it!” you yelled. Luhan looked surprised to hear you yelling. It was way too loud, and other people in other room could probably hear it. “You want to say that I can make him happy? That’s what I did all this time! I did everything you told me. I even forgot about my own feelings just because I’m too busy to think about his. Do you know my feelings? It’s not even better after years passed. I can’t make him happy, Lu. I—“

“You can. He looks so happy with you.” Luhan cut your words.

You couldn’t believe he said those words. You were dumbfounded. “Lu, could you think about my feeling? What do I feel in these past two years?”

“You.. I guess you’re happy with him.” he said, hesitated.

“You’re wrong.” You said. You looked straight into his delicate eyes. “When I’m with him, that’s only you I think about. You know I always think of Sehun as my dongsaeng. I cannot do more than that.”

Luhan looked even sadder. “Just try then. You can try to love him more than a Noona loves her dongsaeng.”

You felt your heart hurt even more. Luhan kept saying that you had to be with Sehun, and it hurt you more than anything. He still insisted to make you stay on Sehun’s side. “You don’t even think about my feelings. I know you don’t have any feelings for me anymore...” you mumbled sadly.

“I…” Luhan opened his mouth to say something but he ended up saying nothing. You sighed hard.

“I’ll marry him.” You said to him firmly. “I hope you wish the best for me and Sehun.”

Luhan didn’t say anything, but you could see his eyes teary.

You were in your wedding dress, smiling beautifully to all guests. You could find your childhood friends, your high school friends, and college friends came to your wedding. You could even have all your family came, even they lived far from Seoul. You were so happy at that time. You also found Sehun’s friends and partners from his office, also all of his family, including his noisy cousins. Soon, you would be part of his big family, and it would be very great.

The wedding ceremony would be started in 5 minutes and you saw Sehun was still busy talking with some guests. Sehun was wearing a black tux that fit him very well. You just saw him from the side. He had his hair combed very neatly. He looked good after all, and he would be your husband soon.

“Sehun, come on. The ceremony would be started in some minutes.” You said as you reached him.

He turned his head and he looked at you. He smiled.

“Appa! That balloon looks so nice! I wanna have one, the red one!” a little boy in Sehun’s embrace squalled happily. They were in amusement part right now, on this fine Tuesday afternoon. Sehun smiled warmly at the boy.

“Why don’t you want to have the blue one? Blue looks good as well.” Sehun said to the little boy.

The little boy shook his head quickly. “The red one is nice!” he pouted.

Sehun chuckled to see how this boy resembled him. Seeing this little boy was just like he saw himself when he was a kid. The little boy pouted even more to see Sehun chuckling.

“Come on, Appa~ or else other people will get it first. Appa would get it for me, right?” he asked, with his sparkling puppy eyes. How could Sehun say no to this adorable little boy?

They two then went to the balloon stand and bought the last red balloon. The kid also wanted to have cotton candy and ice cream. Sehun fulfilled the little boy’s wishes, every one of it. The little kid looked so happy. And Sehun felt so happy, too. When they were about to eat the cotton candy, the little boy looked at a direction and squalled.

“Eomma! Right here! Right here!” he shook his hand full of strength in case you could find him quickly.

Sehun looked at you and smiled widely. You looked so relieved to find both Sehun and the little boy as many other people came to this amusement park. It was totally crowded here. You were running a little to reach both of them.

“Eomma! Look what I have! I have balloon, cotton candy, and ice cream with me~~” the little kid told you happily. You smiled at him as you ruffled his hair. Sehun couldn’t stop smiling at you. The little kid was still smiling happily. His smile grew wider.

“Look, look what I have~~” he smiled to the person who was standing behind you. “Appa!”

“So, what Fu gets from Sehunnie Appa?” Luhan asked his son. He was smiling brightly.

“Fu gets balloon, cotton candy and ice cream~” Fu told his dad gladly and proudly. “And Fu wants to have a big lollipop, too.” He giggled. “Right, Appa?” he looked at Sehun.

Sehun just smiled to this little kid who was so close to him that even called him Appa. Sehun just thought that he really already had a child. This kid was his nephew anyway.

“Fu, you have ice cream and cotton candy with you. We will have the lollipop later, okay?” you told Fu. Fu didn’t look happy with that idea but he ate his cotton candy happily anyways. He then got down from Sehun’s embrace and he went to Luhan’s.

“Thank you for taking care of Fu, Sehunnie.” Luhan carried Fu up. “He asks too much, doesn’t he?” he glanced at his son. The little boy just chuckled between his cotton candy.

“It’s okay, Hyung. I bet I do the same when I was a kid. I ask too much to my parents, even from you.” Sehun laughed. “Am I right?”

Luhan laughed. “You never ask too much, Sehunnie.”

“Appa, I want my balloon.” Fu interrupted.

Sehun gave the kid his balloon and the kid couldn’t stop smiling. Sehun smiled to see Luhan and Fu together. He thought Fu really looked like his Hyung when his Hyung was a kid. But sometimes, Fu would look like you. Ah, Fu just looked like you and Luhan.

“You picked Fu up at school?” you asked Sehun as you two walked behind Luhan and Fu.

“Yeah. You said you were busy. Luhan Hyung either.” Sehun replied with a smile.

“It’s a relief you could pick him up. Thanks.” You smiled at him sincerely.

“Don’t mention it. I have a day off anyways.” He giggled.

You two laughed together. You two then talked about any random topic. Sehun realized the most important thing for him was to see you happy, just like this.  He just knew he was not your happiness whenever he had you smile and look at him during your relationship. It was different from the way you looked and smiled at his Hyung. He saw love in it. But your smiles and stares to him were different. It was never love, he couldn’t call it love.

He thought the most heartbreaking moment was when he heard your conversation with Luhan when you were picking your wedding dress. You loved him, but you loved him as your younger brother. Your love was only for Luhan. It was never too late that finally Sehun talked to Luhan and asked him to wear his tux on the wedding day.  The one who married you was not Sehun, but it was okay for him. Your and his Hyung happy faces on the wedding day, Sehun never saw that before in almost two years. Seeing those smiles made him feeling happy. He lost all his guilty over his Hyung. He could breathe more freely. He believed that you were really meant to his Hyung, that it was fine to let you with his Hyung.

As long as he still could see you like this, he thought it was fine. Your happiness was the most important for him. Seeing your little family, you, Luhan and Fu made Sehun felt happy and calm.

Even he still loved you like he always did before, this was all he wanted. To see you happy. He was happy for you. And he had no regrets at all.

Fin

September 14^th 2013

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