Jiyong enveloped himself in his tent; lying with his eyes shut tightly. The wind was still blowing; it was so loud that he could hear it distinctly from where he lay. He had a small flashlight to accompany him and the entire situation was rather dismal but he could usually sleep through anything. It seemed as if a switch had been making his mind refuse to fall asleep just like the other night. It had taken him a while to realise he was not asleep the first time it had happened. He had lain there in the dark for a good few minutes with his eyes closed and his mind fuzzy but sleep had not come. Now he had lost count of the time he had earnestly prayed to God for some mercy again, to help him heal from the sickness of love after the short vacation soon to end, he hoped the problems would disappear as abruptly as they had appeared after he woke up. If only he could sleep. ‘God help me please. Please... Let me forget him just once…’

Jiyong wanted to erase the embarrassing moments from his mind. Running away had come to him sharply in those fuzzy waking moments after finding himself at TOP’s house that morning. He had gotten wasted and it was a pitiful sight. He chose to run away from his best friend but to be honest; he was trying to run away from more than that.

The thoughts of facing TOP after that night made Jiyong want to die of embarrassment, especially when he realised he had done it in front of his best friend’s lover. ‘Aish, I’m embarrassing myself… in front of everyone. . I... Uggghhh...’

Jiyong buried his head deeper in the blanket searching for the blissful comfort of semi-consciousness in his dream world. The embarrassing thoughts haunted him and he was suddenly back in reality. He wished there were such things as do overs so he could go back to the first time he saw Seungri, when things had started going wrong.

His mind was still disturbed by the face of the brunette every day without any break. The more he wanted just to forget it all together the more his image danced at the forefront of his mind. His mind was more difficult to run away from. Even in this desolate place, he failed to block out thoughts of him.

He sighs hard for the nth time as he gave up on giving up, closing his eyes gently.

‘I failed before I could even tell him I love him. I wish; I could have the chance to tell him that I love him more than I love myself.’

‘Would I even dare to say that if the chance came?’ he wondered.

Jiyong’s eyes were still closed, letting the unpleasant thoughts wander around his head. It felt almost good to let his deepest sadness surface and become uncontrolled, suffocate him and let his chest tighten on the pain; better than trying to control it.

The pain of the fact was that he missed Seungri very much even if the brunette would not bat an eyelash at him. He gasped breathlessly as tears escaped his closed eyes rolling down his cheeks quickly and feeling pathetic. He held his hand weakly over his heart as if it would help with the fact that it was broken.

‘It’s my fault; I should never have fallen in love. And now I will never fall in love again...’

"Hello... Hello, is there anyone inside?”

Something tugged at the edge of Jiyong’s tent and made him start suddenly. Jiyong wiped his tears quickly before he got up. He zipped open the door of his tent immediately seeing no reason not to after he put his beanie and hoodie on to hide his face and the redness of his eyes.

“By the order of the authorities, you are not allowed to camp out here tonight. There are large waves reported to come during this period. You need to evacuate immediately from the beach to the nearest mainland.” The strapping man in his full uniform gave the notice paper to Jiyong, registering full well that Jiyong had not wholly realised what he was saying.

"Young man, you need to go before the sea comes inshore. Come on now; please prepare your stuff and leave. Don’t you see the news or read the newspaper these days? It was really hard to reach you out here, young man." The officer spoke to him, with an undertone of annoyance, in disbelief that news hadn’t reached the skinny young man in front of him. Almost all the residents near the southern coast knew the news already. Yet Jiyong looked lost.

"Oh, I see. Thank you, sir" Jiyong bowed politely to the officer with an expressionless face.

"I’m leaving now. Life is too short, young man. Make it worth living!" The officer shook his head as he gave some offhanded life advice he probably gave to all the people he met at the beach.

His tent had been placed far from the mainland because he deliberately chose a place far away from the crowds of the south coast. Jiyong looked rough and aged with a shadow dusting his upper lip and his clothes the very opposite of how he usually presented himself. Jiyong took a long deep breath as he wondered whether to leave or stay. Life was too short. The officers’ words had not been anything new but they got through to him right now.

I need to say I love Seungri... live with no regrets if I die or not.

‘Yeah... I need to leave this place,’ he muttered picking his stuff off the floor dejectedly. He had changed his mindset but that didn’t stop him from being angry with the world right now.

The wind was still blowing strong when Jiyong walked out of the camp booth, leaving some heavy equipment he could not carry. He felt lighter as he left; he felt like he had left more than that behind.

The cold night’s weather feel pierced Jiyong’s body without any mercy. The oversize white complete with hat and hoodie swamped his small frame. He idly thought of new concepts for shoes as inspiration came to him as randomly as it often did.  He walked a little faster wanting to put his ideas down on paper.

He hurried his footsteps. Yet, he could not help a pang of concern as he saw a blue tent not far from him as he got closer to the mainland. The question of safety made him wonder why the light was still on. He was surprised that anyone else had been as foolhardy as him to go out here on this night.

He thought that the officer would have visited the place anyway as it was en route to his own tent but some doubt made him stop uncertainly. His body stopped before his mind did and he clumsily changed course to go observe the blue tent more closely before he could go back with his heart at ease.