One night. the date was July 24, 2012.

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KIM KIBUM/BEOMMIE.

I feel helpless. But I tell myself to be conscious and trying to figure out what’ve just happened.

A bright light. A loud crash. Hara screamed. And then everything went black two seconds after that.

Im in a car accident, that’s what came into my mind. I tried to move my hand. Oh, right. I was using it to protected her.

God. I was just arrived today, and just finally meet her after a week, but something like this happened.

When I looked, she fainted in my arms. But it seems that nothing -wait, there’s some blood. Her hand was injured. But miraculously, both of mine were okay. Although I find it kinda difficult to move it.

I need to get some help.

Why is this road so empty? There’s no one I could ask for help.

My cell-.. where’s my cellphone?

There’s only one that I can rely onto at time like these, and I need to call her right now.

Try to think, dont panic, Kibum.

Last time, I put my phone in my pocket. Yep. It’s still there. With all my might, the shaking hand of mine managed to push the number 2 button.

My sight was blurry, and slowly but sure, I can feel pain comes through and went all over my body. And it more worst on my head.

Thank God, Nic answered the phone. She seems speechless, but as I told her my location, and then she said, ‘’Ok.’’, I was convinced that everything will be okay.

Just like what I said to my wife, when I wrapped my hand and patted her head again, ‘’don’t worry, everything will be just fine.’’

I was kinda glad that she was unconscious. She’s afraid to blood, so I don’t want her to see her injury. And also I don’t want her to see the chauffeur’s condition as I can see from the corner of my eyes, he was badly injured. He didn’t reply when I asked him whether he’s okay or not.

Im not a talkative person, Hara-ah knew that perfectly. And I also couldn’t always be there for her because of what I do for live, she understands it perfectly.

But even with who or how am I, I believe that she knew to whom I dedicate myself. To my late parents, and to her only. And I really believe that’s enough for both of us, since we knew each other for many years now.

I might not talk too much, but as now im lying there, in such a chaos, with her in my arms, I kept chanting, ‘’we’re gonna be fine. we’ll live, Hara.’’

Just as minutes later, I can see that familiar face running to the car. My secretary is shouting like crazy to the officer that followed her.

Thank God.

Hara, you trust me like you always said, right?

See, the help is here. And if we’ll get through this, I promise I would spend more time with you. Mianhe.. Im sorry.

Hey.. I just remember, a spring in Italy might be nice..

But now as I saw you were pulled and saved by Nic and the officer, I think.. I might want to close my eyes for a while.

Just to feel my relieved…. And forget about the pain in my head.

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JUNG YONGJOO/NICOLE.

I almost dropped my phone when I answered it a couple of hours ago.

He called me with his weak voice.

I’ve notice that something wasn’t right.

He got an accident.

Kim Kibum-sshi, the man I work for, asked for help because his car got into an accident.

In every situation, I would always try to do my best and it’s proven since he really appreciated the result.

But when it comes to something like this, he doesn’t need to ask for any help. Because I would go to anywhere in this world if something bad happened to him.

My hands were shaking like crazy when I drive my car. And when I came to the place, on the same time the ambulance was arrived. Kibum’s chauffeur didn’t survive.

I saw with my own eyes when the officer pulled him out from the car. Out of two reasons, it was a painful thing for me to see.

One, because I cant imagine how much pain he got. And I don’t want him to feel all of it, at all.

Two, despite on that terrible situation, he’s still trying to do something he would never do to me.

For me, his secretary, I have flown over many countries and be on his side, handling all of his work. I have eaten lunches and dinners in many exquisite restaurants with him, on behalf of his company. As he was a down-to-earth boss, he would laugh with me through flights and train rides.

In fact, he spent more of his time with me than with her. Hara-sshi, his wife.

But to see what happened on that site, I understand that he would never protect me like what he did to her on that car.

I saw his arms were trying to cover his precious one from anything that can harm her.

And when I ran to him as I shouted to the officer, he said to me, ‘’thank God.. you’re here.’’

Im happy to know that my presence was important to him, although my happiness didn’t last for too long because after that he said to the officer, ‘’Her hand is injured, please help her first.’’

So he was glad that im here, because then there’s a help for her? how ironic.

I really want to shout to him, ‘don’t you understand, your condition was more worst than hers?’

But of course, I didn’t do that.

I just helped the officer pulled his wife, when the other one pulled him. I looked at her when I help carrying her.

She’s so pretty with her long silky hair, which I don’t have. Usually, she would stare and talk to me with her small voice and friendly eyes. Kibum and her, they are childhood friends because the parents befriended to each other. It’s like a tale. And everything about them, seems so compatible.

It’s unfair. Well, life isnt fair, so who am I kidding?

Sometimes I questioned myself, for how many longer I could work for him with the situation, but then I just think that it might be enough. Nothing would change; he’s still going to be busy, and im the one who’s on his side almost all the time.

The fact that im not the one that the photo always carried on his journal to wherever he goes, the fact that im not the one that he sees when he opened his eyes in the morning, I think I could live with that.

Along with a really tiny hope in my heart that one day.. he would see me more than just.. well, me.

But I realized, this time is not the right time to think about it.

So when the officer said that we’re going to the hospital now, I told him, ‘’Kibum-sshi, don’t worry, soon you’ll get to the hospital.’’

He seems like he’s going to lose his conscious. I thought it was because of the drugs they gave, he just closed his eyes after he smiled to me and said, ‘’thank God.’’

But a minute after, because of the machines suddenly beeped and to understand what medical officer said, I just realized that the man I worked for, and also the one that I always care about.. he’s just said his last word. To me.

Then I also realized that this is the only time when I could ever think about him. About every words that I could never said to him, because now it’s just too late.

And that’s how my tiny hope was crushed.

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GOO HARA/KIM HARA.

I gasped for an air to breathe as I open my eyes. Consciously, I wiped the sweat that trickling down to my neck.

My heart raced really fast, I can hear its beats.

Still trembling, I raised my right hand. My other hand caught it to try to calm it down. And somehow a slight tingling pain strucked me. Clasped hand, I said to myself, that it must be a bad dream. What I had earlier, it’s just a dream.

I still can recall a bit from my mind. The car stopped so suddenly, and then I screamed. Vaguely I heard the sound of the pouring rain. Somehow, I saw some blood before I finally fainted.

Reflex, I set my eyes to look around. Im in a cozy room.

So yes, it’s definitely just a dream. Not real.

But where am I?

Im on a bed of grey-silver sheets in a masculine yet elegant room, with the lights that sets into a dark but serene atmosphere like a twilight.

Of course I know where this is. Unconsciously, I sighed, feel so relieve. Although a small piece of guilt seeps through when I remember about the last time I went to this place.

That night, he called me. He seems so devastated, I can understand it through his voice. He needs me, he doesn’t even need to tell me, I knew it right away. But as he said it out loud, the next thing I know is that I went to see him. In this place, just to hold him and protected him with my arms.

I love him more than anyone in this world, that I know for sure.

He’s is my everything since we have this relationship about a year ago. Although I already found him really dashing when we met for the very first time 3 years ago, on Boemmie’s birthday.

And he didn’t have anyone else but me, as his parents were gone when he’s 18 years old.

Oh my God.

Beommie. Kibum. Where is he?

Wait. Is that really a dream..? the blood-

Suddenly my hands are shaking. But then I formed my hand into a fist and get up from the bed.

I stopped for a while in a second I felt the coldness on my feet when it touched the marble floor. But then I walked slowly to the door just to find it opens from the outside.

‘’Min..ho..?’’ I almost whispered, but he heard it. He looked at me right away as he hides something on his hand. Then he walk towards me with this look in his face.

‘’hey.. I don’t know you’re awake.’’ He my hair as he slowly take me into him arms. ‘’everything will be alright. I promise you.’’

‘’what?’’ I frowned.

He broke the embrace as he’s staring at me and I just ask him, ‘’where’s Beommie?’’

Not answering, he just gives me nothing but silence.

‘’…Minho-yah?’’ I held his hand.

‘’after what happened.. you still called him that way.’’ he look away. I just realized it. My words might hurt him.

‘’i-im sorry.. it’s just-‘’

He replied with his cold tone. The usual tone he used when he talks to anyone but not to me. ‘’of course, it might just a habit for you, to call him so lovingly.’’

‘’ Minho..’’ I tried to calm him down. It’s started again. No matter how hard I try to convince him, it seems that he find so hard to believe, that the one I really care about is him, not Kibum. ‘’how many times I should have told you, that I chose you..’’

He shifted his stare as he looked at me while I continue, ‘’you still didn’t believe me, even after I risk anything just to went here so many times behind his back..’’

To my surprise, he’s laughing at my words. ‘’well, you said it by yourself that he wasn’t at home everytime you come to my place, so he’s never gonna find out.. unless you tell him out of regret.’’

‘’YAH!’’ I half-shouted at him.

‘’what? how can I believe that you’re actually love me and never love him? him, the one who can touch you whenever he wants, who can easily put his arm around you in front of everyone? Not like me.. who can just beg you to come whenever he’s not there, next to you in your bed.. doing anything to you that I even don’t want to imagine-‘’

‘’stop it!’’ I can feel my eyes burnt because of the tears.

‘’what? I cant say anything, can I? since he’s Kibum, the heir of Kim family, your one and only beloved Boemmie!’’

That’s it.

… but two seconds later, I looked at my hand.

I just slapped him.

A tear glided on my cheek.

‘’i-im.. so sorry I didn’t mean to..’’ I just can say that to him as he didn’t even move at all. ‘’I always love Boemmie.. but only like a brother. You know that.. and you know I become his wife because I owe my life to his parents..’’

His cold hand lift, and he wiped my tears. ‘’I know.’’ he sighed, ‘’im the one who should apologize to you.’’

I shook my head as then I stood closer and he embraced me again. ‘’I never felt at ease in his arms.. I never felt at ease except when im with you.’’ I said as I rested my head and feel so peaceful.

He leaned his head on mine as he tighten his embrace. I felt something on my back, so I try to look at it.

‘’Minho..?’’

He seems doesn’t know what to do when I grab the clothes in his hand.

It’s my wet dress. And I just realize that I wear his clothes.

Yes, now I remember. I was on the car with Beommie, it’s raining so hard, and im wearing the dress that Minho held in his hand earlier. Suddenly there’s a bright light, then after that, I shut my eyes when I heard a huge crash, and Beommie’s voice calling out my name while I also feel a pair of arms grasped at me in one pull. And everything went black after that.

I lifted my head and looked at Minho. ‘’there’s blood in my dress..’’ I hung my sentence, but somehow I know where my words gonna lead me.

Suddenly, I can hear my heartbeat again. My head thumping.

When I try harder, I can hear the sound of the heavy rain outside Minho’s house.

‘’… tell me, where am I before I get here..’’

‘’just..’’ he said to me, but he might change his mind after he saw the look on my face as then he said, ‘’fine, but you should calm down..’’

He helped me walk as then we sit on the bed, when he rolled up the sleeves and show my right arm. I gasped. So that's why I kept feel a slight of pain.

‘’you got 20 stitches..’’ he said as I still staring at the bandage. ‘’Im so sorry that you have to be injured.’’

‘’..and Beommie?’’ that unconsciously slipped from my tongue. I didn’t love him the way I love Minho, but I do care about him. We grew up together.

Minho just look down to the floor, and he shook his head slowly.

‘’what..?’’ I whispered.

‘’I went there as soon as the officer answered your phone, and all I can think is just to get you out from that terrible accident.. when I came to the hospital, he’s already..’’ Minho stopped.

No. I cant even said the worst possibility.

My head is aching. It’s like everything spinning around.

Beommie.

My tears burst even more. Minho just try so hard to calm me down.

‘’I.. I know it might be too much for me to ask, Minho-yah..’’ I sobbed, ‘’but I really need to see him..’’

‘’shhh..’’

‘’I want to see him!’’ I felt so guilty towards Kibum. I always did, and now it’s just got worst.

He might not always be the best husband in the world.

We were married for 2 years and he always busy with the family’s business.

He always went around the world and left me here in Seoul.

And he never really asked about my feelings as he always thought by himself that I love him that much to wanted to be his wife.

But then again, when I remember..

He might not be as perfect as Minho, but he does always said that im the best wife he could ever ask for.

I still havent got pregnant with his baby, because I silently took a birth control pills without his consent, and yet he never complain about wanting a child.

I rarely go with him abroad is not because he never ask me to go with him, he does; but he said that maybe I prefer to take care of his late mother, which I did, because I love his parents like my own, who’s passed away sooner. He and I, we took care of each other because we don’t have anyone else in the world.

And he never ask my feelings.. if you ask him why, he might just gonna say because he believes in me.

It’s so Kiboemmie, he never push me into something that can gives me trouble. He wont ask me a question that he knew I will find it hard to answer.

He always just smiles calmly and looks at me with his lonely eyes. Just like every morning, when he left the house to go to the office, and just like every night, when he kissed my forehead and say goodnight.

He rarely say the unimportant things to say, yet he always do anything he could only for my sake.

Like when he pulled me to his embrace, to protect me of getting hurt in tonight’s accident.

For me, to fall in love with Kibum’s friend Minho, is one thing. And to actually cheating on him, I know that it’s a sin. But now.. as my calm husband did whatever he could to protect me.. I don’t even know what to say.

''Hara-yah?'' Minho's voice bring me back to my conscious.

I can hear my voice turned a little bit croak when I asked him, ''how he..?'' but still cant say the word.

He shook his head slowly, ‘’from what I’ve heard.. he couldn’t make it on his way to the hospital.''

My head is aching all over again. It began to throb like crazy.

Kibum. He’s gone. What am I going to do about that?

How am I going to live-

Minho’s hand reaching out for me.

Now I really don’t understand. Am I supposed to feel glad that now I don’t have to choose anymore? Am I supposed to feel guilty? I feel both of feelings right now.

And I never realized how bad this could feel.

So bad that I really really wanted to believe that all of this is just somekind of a bad dream. Although it’s not.

For Kibum, he’s really gone.

For me, I was really a mess.

I looked up and staring at my lover’s eyes. He smiled sadly as he rested his forehead to mine. At that very moment, I understand that this is not easy for Minho too.

‘’Min-‘’ I said but then he cut my word, ‘’I know.’’

Just 2 words from him and it’s really helped. Then he continued, ‘’you’ll get through this. we’ll get through this.’’

I nodded and try to speak as im sobbing, ‘’I.. I have to go to manage the funeral.. and everything.’’

‘’Of course.’’ he patted my head slowly.

I don’t know what will happen next. I felt too much guilt to stay with Minho after what happened. I also have to be strong because Kibum saved my life and I wouldn’t let his sacrifice meaningless.

I owed so much I cant even think of right now. My head is aching and my heart is just like it’s gonna explode in no time.

So whatever it will be, for now just give me a second in peace.. to be in Minho’s arms. For I don’t know whether I still have the heart to do it by tomorrow.

And even if in the end I have to hurt him by leaving him.. God knows how I would never want this to happen.

-----------------------

CHOI MINHO.

Hara fell asleep in my arms, after she found out about what happened to Kibum. So just left the room and let her to get more sleep.

She seems pretty upset, but im sure that I can handle it. Everything will be back to normal sooner or later.

I took my phone and saw there are 5 missed calls.

I checked and all of it were from 1 number. So I call that number back as I took out one cigarette from its pack.

‘’yes?’’ I said as then a familiar voice answered.

‘’it’s done, right? I just saw it from the TV.’’ Nana said to me on the phone. I expected a satisfied tone in her voice but no, it was more like.. curiosity.

‘’what the hell are you talking about?’’ I laughs a bit, ‘’of course, it is. I thought your men already informed you.’’

‘’well, yeah, they did. But..’’ she stopped.

‘’what?’’ I lit the cigarette and tossed the lighter to the table.

‘’how about the girl?’’ Nana said. And from her tone, somehow.. I could sense that she feels worry. Worry about Hara? it’s unlikely. So what is it actually?

‘’what about her?’’ I replied, ‘’I know.. I know. You feel guilty to me because she’s still alive, right?’’

She sighed, ‘’that accident, it was really a mess, you know.. it was a miracle that your lover survived.’’

I threw myself to the couch, ‘’well, it seems that the prince protected her til the end and saves her.’’

‘’you doesn’t seems so happy with that.’’ Nana said and then add quickly, ‘’let me ask you one thing, you were upset because of the fact that she wasn’t killed, or.. the fact that she was protected by the great Kim Kibum?’’

Her question makes me feel annoyed. She might be my good partner, but I wont let anyone to interfere the lines I build to show the absolute position between me and them, ‘’I don’t like being questioned.’’

And I supposed because of my tone, she understands it perfectly about how I feel. And I was right, she apologized.

‘’sorry.’’

I didn’t respond to that, but I just said to her, ‘’well, there’s always another day, as there's always another chance.’’

‘’so..’’ Nana hung her sentence. Well, I believed she was more than understand about all of my motives. So it’s just so stupid of her if she’s still doubt me.

I chuckled, ‘’so.. as Hara was asleep and she wouldn’t awake until this morning because of the sedative, so I think I want to have a drink outside. And you.. are the one that I chose to be with..’’

She laughs, so I added, ‘’only for tonight.’’ and she laughs even louder.

‘’okay then.. see you at the usual place?’’ she asked me.

‘’see you at the usual place.’’ I repeated her words and then closed my phone.

I just walked to my room, to check on Hara. I was right, she’s still sleeping.

Then I just said to her from the door, ‘’you’re too sweet to be ignore, and Im not gonna lie, sometimes you can distract me from my plan.. but.. my will is stronger.’’

As I put on my jacket, I said to her, who’s lying on my bed looking so calm in her sleep, ‘’don’t think too much, sweety, I don’t care if you decide to leave me after this.. well, maybe I would pretend that Im mad, for a while..’’ I cant help but laugh a bit, ‘’sweet dream, maybe you would see your beloved Beommie in it..’’

I saluted as I walked out from there. And somehow, my steps are never this steady.

The Kim couple. Then the Goo couple. I have destroyed them all.

Their heir. And soon, the daughter.

Turns out they're not that difficult to be destroyed.

And so I was one of the reasons why the two don’t have a child to be their future successor.

No, wait.

Hara just told me that.. she might be pregnant with my child.

My laugh echoed through the corridor.

So.. as the two families took the most important thing in my life, who says I couldn’t take everything from them too?

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An old newspaper article fell from a board that filled by any other piece of paper that contained the same topic.

All of them were from ’92-‘93.

The title says,

‘THE BIG JOINT VENTURE COMPANY KIM-GOO DENIED ALL OF THE REPORT ABOUT THE GAS INCIDENT.’

Some of the paragraph was faded, but there’s still some that we can read.

‘their scientist and researchers might be the one who suffered the most.’

And beside the empty space of the fell article, there is a wide paper of obituary with two names of the scientist. Family name, Choi.

‘Our beloved daughter and son,
loving mother and father of Minho.’

The date of death was July 24, 1992.

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