Somebody told me you still loved me 
Don’t know why 

Days filled with loneliness passed by in a blur. The busy schedule is only a temporary distraction. Yesung, Eunhyuk and I were the only ones in our dorm when Donghae came down and joined us. The three of them were bantering, exchanging jokes and playing silly games just to know who’s going to cook or order out for the rest of us but I just kept quietly on the side. But of course I didn’t go unnoticed for long.

          “Hey Kyuhyun. You’re not exempted from this you know. You always make us hyungs pay for your dinner.” Eunhyuk meant that to be a joke but Yesung and Donghae looked at him with wide eyes as if he’d said a terrible thing.

          “Just order what you want hyung. I’ll pay for everything.” I resignedly said without looking at their direction.

Yesung and Donghae were hitting Eunhyuk, egging him to say something.

          “Aww come on Kyuhyun. You know I didn’t mean it to be like that. We know you’re hurting and it hurts too that we can’t seem to do anything about it.”

          “Siwon may be staying away from all of us at this time but all of us know that he loves you very much. We know how he’d move heaven and earth just to be with you all the time.” Yesung piped in.

          “You may not know it but you’d always end up as our topic when we chat online sometimes. He’d keep on repeating “I love Kyuhyun. I love him so much.” Like he had exclusive rights to use those words only for you.” Said Donghae scrunching his face at the cheesiness.

Nobody told me that you only 
Needed time to fly 

Why do people make stupid decisions? Why did I even think about letting you go when you only needed some breathing space?

Just turn around and walk away 
You don’t have to live like this 

I know you get tired sometimes, who doesn’t? But you are more tired than the rest of us, what with the group activities and solo projects here and abroad plus the obligation to your parents and the family business always at the back of your mind. I’m always in awe at your work ethics. You don’t have the word give up in your vocabulary. You just keep going on no matter how tired you are, no matter how pained your body has become. That’s how you are inside out.

But lately, you seem to be faltering. Like a gem that had lost some of its shine. I don’t have to ask anymore why you’re being like this. The stress has finally caught you and its eating you up right now.

Do I have the right to tell you to choose then turn around and leave behind the life you don’t want? But it pains me to see you suffering inside from resisting the choice you have to make. For all the love you have been showing and sharing to everybody, I know most everyone will agree that you don’t deserve to live like this. Much too stressed out and full of worries, it easily shows on your perfectly handsome face.

But if you love me still then stay 
Don’t keep me waiting for that final kiss 

If you’re ready to come back I’d still be here for you. Always was, always will be. We won’t be saying goodbye to each other, our final kisses won’t come until our last breaths.

We can work together through this test 
Or we can work through it apart 

I’ll always be here for you, not just as a lover but also as a friend. Yes, you can try to rely on me whether we are together or apart. I’ll be strong for you now that I know you need me to be. I’ll carry you if I have to if only you could go through this with lesser heartaches.

I just need to get this off my chest 
That you will always have my heart 
 

All the things I can do I’ll do for you. You are my everything. My love. My life. No one and nothing can replace you in my heart. My heart that I’ve already given to you. Just let me be the one to stay and stand beside you through all your goodtimes and badtimes.

Ahh, seems like I have also become so cheesy in your absence (laughing at ones’ self). I guess I have missed you that much. Expressing everything that has been inside my heart that is only for you.

Please come back when you are ready. I’d still be here to welcome you with open arms. With all my love. With all my heart.

-to be continued-