045. claustrophobia ; dongwoo/woohyun (2woo)

It had always been like this. He had always been like this.

But he knew. When he decided he wanted to become a singer, he knew that it would eventually happen.

Being on stage never was a problem. He liked it, adored it, craved for it. Seeing all the fans there, beneath him, staring at him, admiring him.

Being part of them though, that would have been a problem. Crowds. This was freaking scary. For him. Some people actually enjoyed it. Being with so many people. The heat, the sweat, the noise.

 “Hey guys, do you want to go clubbing tonight ? It’s our first free night since months so we should enjoy it!”

He didn’t know who said that. He didn’t really care. But these simple words made him shiver. He could feel his hands becoming sweaty, he could hear his shallow breath. The lightest hints of panic flooding through his body.

Clubs were his worst nightmare. He hated clubbing. He hated the heat and the disgusting smell of sweat and alcohol. He hated the people and the expensive clothes they had to wear, and the girls throwing themselves at him. He hated the way people acted there. They were shameless, moving to the rhythm, kissing strangers, getting drunk and not remembering anything of it.

He dreaded the feeling of those strangers’ body. Pressed against him, soiling him with their sweat.

He was afraid too. Afraid that when he would want to go out, get some fresh air, the door wouldn’t open. Afraid that he would be forgotten and forced to stay there all night long, alone and in the dark.

But what could he say? ‘I don’t like clubbing’, nobody would believe him. And it was strange, really. How his closest friends could imagine that he really loved clubbing even though they actually never went clubbing together. But it was all because he lied. He told them he loved it, that he knew every bouncer of Seoul or that this club was better than this one. And it was just so believable. Because he was always up for partying, as long as it wasn’t in a crowed place, as in long as it wasn’t with more than about 10 persons.

“I don’t really feel like partying tonight …” he finally said.

And all his band members looked at him with their best ‘what the ’ look. All of them except one.

“I think I’ll also stay at home. I’d like to catch on sleep. Sorry guys. But I’m sure you’ll have fun without us!” said Dongwoo winking towards him. Because, somehow he knew. He knew that Woohyun didn’t want to go clubbing tonight. And even if he didn’t know why. He knew something. He knew that even if he was to miss a fun night out, a night alone with his band mate was totally worth it.