“Five more minutes before surgery begins, miss. Please hurry and finish your message,” the nurse urged as she hovered beside the gurney. Glancing up from her cell phone’s softly illuminated screen the girl slowly nodded her head and then once more bent her head over the cell phone. Biting thoughtfully on her lip, the girl debated what she had left to say before hurriedly typing the last few characters and sending off the message.

Turning to face her mother, who was forcing back the tears as she watched her daughter, the girl smiled bravely and handed the phone over. It wasn’t like she was allowed to bring it into surgery with her, after all. Swallowing hard to keep the choking feelings from raising out of , her mother accepted the cell phone and placed it inside her purse for safe-keeping.

“I’ll be fine! I’ve done this, what, a billion times?” her daughter assured the fretting mother, reaching over and giving her mother’s arm a quick squeeze. Sniffling, her mother nodded and squeezed her daughter’s arm in return. “Oh, and don’t forget to record the concert! I absolutely cannot miss it!” she added, seeming more concerned about this than the surgery that loomed ahead of her.

“Already done, Jin Uk. Good luck!” Her mother cheered quietly as the nurse began rolling the gurney away. When both nurse and daughter disappeared around the corner, Jin Uk’s mother slowly sank into one of the waiting room’s chairs and began rummaging through her purse for the book she had brought along.

==================================================================================================================

“You’re on stage in five minutes! Make sure everything is ready!” one of the back stage hands announced, giving the thumbs up to Infinite before hurrying off to his next task. Flashing him the thumbs up in return, Sung Gyu turned to s to make sure all of them were ready. As usual they were all ready to go except, as usual, for Myung Soo. Sighing, Sung Gyu ran a hand through his hair and went to rush Myung Soo off his cell phone.

Sensing his leader coming, Myung Soo snapped the cell phone shut and hurriedly tossed it on the dressing room table. He hadn’t even gotten to read Jin Uk’s message…

“So, how’s she doing?” Sung Gyu asked, not even needing to ask who was keeping Myung Soo so concerned. It was well known amongst the members that Myung Soo had been dating someone for about a year now, and that she was currently undergoing treatment back home in Seoul. This was about the fifth surgery she had been in since the two had started dating, and every time Myung Soo was holding onto his cell phone 24/7 just in case it decided to grow legs and run away or something.

“Good. The doctors say that this should be the last of the surgeries she has to go through,” Myung Soo replied, though his tone spoke otherwise. “Still, I’m really worried about her. If something goes wrong-“

“Nothing will go wrong. By the time we’re done here in Japan she’ll be perfectly healthy and you two can live happily ever after,” Sung Gyu assured Myung Soo, patting him on the back and simultaneously guiding him towards the dressing room door. Unsure if his leader's confidence was true, but knowing that now wasn't the time to argue over it, Myung Soo put on his game face and followed the rest of Infinite towards the stage.

==================================================================================================================

“Ma'am?” a woman’s voice interrupted the mother’s reading, and right as she was getting to the good part. Frowning slightly she looked up to see that it was the same nurse who had wheeled her daughter away before. Normally the surgeries didn’t take such a short time…

Glancing down at her watch in confusion, Jin Uk’s mother pursed her lips slightly. “Are you already done? The surgery should be another twenty minutes at the very least,” she asked, looking back up at the nurse. The woman had begun to fidget nervously and was playing with her skirt while she tried to avoid looking Jin Uk’s mother directly in the eye.

“It’s your daughter, ma’am. There’s been a complication and-“ the nurse didn’t even get the opportunity to finish before Jin Uk’s mother was on her feet and moving at a dead sprint towards the surgical ward. “Ma’am! You can’t go back there!” the nurse called after her, high heels clicking against the linoleum tiles as she pursued Jin Uk’s mother.

Latching on to the frantic mother’s arm, the nurse braced herself and prevented any further intrusion into the surgical ward. Miraculously, as the mother turned to face the nurse both women remained composed and relatively calm. “That is my daughter back there. If anything has gone wrong, I want the chance to say goodbye to her,” she scolded the nurse, rising up to her full height. Although the difference was only a few inches, the nurse still felt dwarfed by the mother's sudden intimidating presence.

“Y-yes ma’am,” the nurse gave in, bowing her head and beginning to lead Jin Uk’s mother towards the observation area for Jin Uk's room. “But it is still unsure if your daughter won’t make it. The doctors are doing everything they can to-“

“With all due respect, you wouldn’t be coming to find me if everything was going to get better. Jin Uk… she isn’t going to live,” her mother sighed, the crushing weight of panic, fear, and sadness closing in on her heart all at once. Unsure of how to respond, the nurse could only nod her head in submission and face forward. Sometimes she really hated her job.

=========================================================================================================================

“Infinite! Infinite! Infinite!” The crowd chanted as the boys bowed and hurried off stage so that the next group could start their performance. As soon as they were out of sight of the fans Myung Soo collapsed onto Sung Yeol’s shoulders and hung their limply, allowing the other boy to drag him back to the dressing room.

“I love you. So do I. We’ll meet again. I’ll be waiting.”

The fact that his phone was already ringing surprised Myung Soo, but not in the happy birthday party kind of way. Fearing the worst, he bolted straight for his cell phone and caught it just before it got a chance to connect the caller to voice mail. Behind him, Infinite grew extremely quiet and hovered anxiously around the dressing room to wait for the news.

“Hello?” Myung Soo asked, the anxiousness apparent in his voice even though he tried to hide it. As he listened to the voice on the other end he grew very quiet, and all the color in his face drained out. Quietly, Hoya informed the stylists and manager that they should wait outside and then locked the dressing room door. The rest of Infinite slowly began to close in around Myung Soo.

“Yes. I understand… Yes. How long does she-“ Myung Soo’s voice choked to a stop as he was interrupted on the other end. “I-I understand. Is she awake?” the members looked nervously around at each other, fearing the worst for Jin Uk. Without a word, Sung Gyu came up behind Myung Soo and rested a hand on his shoulder. Glancing back at his leader with a pained expression, Myung Soo nodded gratefully before going back to listening intently to the caller.

“I… yes. So she’s… I understand. Thank you,” Myung Soo finished quietly, shakily pulling the phone away from his ear and hanging up the call. Every person in the room held their breath as they waited for Myung Soo to say something, but all he could manage was to stand there and stare numbly into the mirror.

Swallowing down his anxiousness, Sung Yeol opened his mouth to speak: “Myung-“

“Damn it!” Myung Soo suddenly roared, punching the mirror and shattering it onto the dressing table. Jumping at this sudden outburst, everyone took a step back from Myung Soo as he cradled his bleeding hand against his chest, soaking the performance outfit in red. “Damn it,” he whispered, looking around blankly at the destruction he had just caused.

“Let’s get your hand looked at,” Sung Gyu told him gently after a moment’s silence, wrapping one arm around Myung Soo’s shoulders and leading him out of the dressing room. The other members all turned to watch as he left and then began awkwardly milling around the room, leaving Dong Woo to quietly explain to their manager why the group's visual was bleeding.

=========================================================================================================================

“And this was Infinite, just back from their tour in Japan! Let’s give them a big thank you and a welcome back home, everyone!” The interviewer cheered, clapping as she bowed to Infinite. Joining in on the applause, all the members put on their most winning smiles as they first bowed to the interviewer and then the camera.

"That's good!" the camera director announced, holding the OK sign up over his head. Taking their cue, the cameras shut off and everyone began cleaning up from the filming Left on their own for a few minutes, Infinite broke off into smaller groups to chat amongst themselves and prepare to head back to the dorm.

Myung Soo, dressed fully in black, was the only one to end up on his own. Taking notice of this, the interviewer decided to take this chance to talk privately with him and, after brushing off her stylists, calmly walked over to Myung Soo.

“So what ‘personal reasons’ do you have for wearing all black? I know you can’t say it on camera, but now it can be just between the two of us,” she innocently inquired, clasping her hands behind her back and putting on her most winning aegyo. Breathing in deeply to calm himself, Myung Soo forced a tight smile onto his face.

“Sorry, but besides being personal it is also private,” he replied, raising his voice and rocking back and forth on his heels to try and catch the manager’s attention. The man was too busy working with the camera director to notice Myung Soo’s plight, though, so he was on his own.

“Oh come now, you can tell me. I promise it can be a secret between us,” the interviewer urged, putting a finger to her lips and winking at Myung Soo. Sighing heavily, he let his smile drop and gently pushed the interviewer out of his way. “Myung Soo!” She called after him, shocked that he would treat her so disrespectfully.

“I also couldn’t do that while on camera,” he retorted, frowning darkly at the woman before hurrying over to his manager. After a quick goodbye and thank you, the manager guided Myung Soo out of the studio and to the dark black van out back. Even from the opposite end of the building Myung Soo could hear the screams of fans as they waited eagerly for Infinite to make an appearance. Today, though, he would have to disappoint them.

Climbing into the back of the van, Myung Soo quickly closed the door behind him and buckled up for the trip. In front, the manager did similarly and then started up the engine. Turning around in his seat so that he could back up, the manager caught sight of Myung Soo’s drawn out face and sighed quietly to himself. Although the visual had managed to keep a smile and glowing charisma while on camera he had been depressed and sullen the rest of the time.

He wasn’t sure how much longer Myung Soo could keep up the act, so he hoped that after today he would be able to move on and get his head back into the game. The dark cloud that had been following around Infinite's usually glowing visual was beginning to infect the rest of the members and turning them all into a glum bunch. An idol can't afford to mourn, not when it might affect his performance.

After backing the van out of the narrow parking space, the manager put it into drive and headed for the parking lot's exit. “Tch, listen to me. Idol or not, he just lost someone extremely close to him very suddenly. Let him mourn for as long as he needs to,” the manager scolded himself, stopping at the intersection with the road and glancing right and left to make sure nobody was coming. They didn't need two deaths on their hands.

As they pulled out into traffic, Myung Soo slipped his cell phone out of his pocket and turned it on. In the screen's corner blinked a new message announcement. He still hadn’t been able to bring himself to read Jin Uk’s final words to him, but now seemed like as good a time as any. He couldn’t just ignore her message, after all. Not without going crazy at least.

“Hey! I would have called you, but you’re probably busy preparing for the concert. We can talk later, right? I hope so… I miss your voice. I really want to see you. I know that it’s kind of selfish, since you’re an idol and all, but… promise me I’ll be the first one to know when you come back, okay? I’ll be at the airport cheering for you along with the rest of your fans! The nurse wants me to hurry, so I’ll just get to the point. I love you, Myung Soo. I hope we can see each other soon.”

“Geez, you call this a text, Jin Uk? It's more like a letter... text-letter?” Myung Soo chuckled bitterly, only just now taking notice of the wet spots on his cheeks. Glancing at his reflection in the window, Myung Soo could tell that he looked like a wreck. And staring through his reflection, he could see the head stones.

Swallowing down the growing tears and wiping away those that had already come, Myung Soo composed himself as best he could and prepared to exit the van. As they turned into the cemetery parking lot he could see a group of people clothed fully in black saying their tearful goodbyes to one another. He recognized the main focus of these goodbyes as the mother of Jin Uk. As the van pulled onto the gravel, the woman looked up and, although the windows were out, Myung Soo was positive she could see him.

After putting the van in park, his manager turned around to look at Myung Soo. “You’ve got ten minutes. Make sure nobody sees you, alright?” he told him matter-of-factly, feeling like a horrible human being for acting like this. It was necessary, though. If Myung Soo didn’t want to make Jin Uk and her family the next idol scandal, he needed to show no connections to them.

“Got it,” Myung Soo agreed dully, rolling the van door open and stepping outside with sunglasses in one hand and flowers in the other. After closing the door behind him, he turned towards the cemetery's entrance which, unfortunately, was crowded by Jin Uk's relatives.

Her mother had been watching the van the entire time, so it wasn’t hard making eye contact with her once he got out. After a brief, silent exchange of thoughts Myung Soo placed the sunglasses on his face and headed towards the cemetery entrance with his head bowed. As he passed Jin Uk’s relatives, he could hear a few of them making comments about his sudden appearance.

“Do you know him? I don’t believe I’ve seen him before.”

“No. I've never met him before. Jin Uk isn't the only one buried here, though. There are, sadly, plenty here for him to visit,” Jin Uk’s mother replied coolly, ending all discussion before anybody could put a name to Myung Soo’s face. Turning slightly, he bobbed a quick and subtle bow to her before quickly continuing to pretend not to know her. Smiling sadly, Jin Uk’s mother bowed back and then began urging her family to leave. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if Myung Soo was seen at her daughter’s grave.

When he found Jin Uk’s grave it was already decorated in flowers and other memorabilia, gifts from her family. Wetting his lips and trying not to lose his composure, Myung Soo knelt on the grass in front of her grave and carefully added his flowers to the others. in a slow, unsteady breath, Myung Soo silently tried to think of what to do next. He only had a few minutes…

“I miss your voice.”

Reaching into his pocket, Myung Soo pulled out his cell phone once again and turned it on. Shakily he dialed the all too familiar number before placing the phone to his ear. One, two, three rings and still nobody picked up. Which was good. This message wasn’t meant for anyone who could answer a phone.

“Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system. Please leave your message after the tone,” the robotic female recording announced, followed by a long, dull beep.

“Jin Uk? I’m back from Japan. I didn’t see you at the airport, but… well, I guess that’s to be expected,” he laughed dryly as tears began to appear from beneath his sunglasses. “The stage went really well, but… well, your surgery didn’t go quite so well. The doctor, he really tried to fix his mistake but… your mom says it was fated to happen, but I’d like to think it was just bad luck. I’d like to think that we weren’t fated to never meet again, because… well, that’s kind of a depressing thought. Maybe in the next life we’ll be able to have a happier life. You won’t be sick, and I’ll have a more normal life, and then we can be together,” he continued talking, the words easily flowing out as the urge to speak became stronger.

“I can’t believe that I’ll never be able to hear your voice again. Or see you laugh. Or hold your hand. I can’t believe I didn’t make more time for us. I let everything else become more important, and now… now it’s too late. But Jin Uk… I really do love you. With all my heart. And I-“ Myung Soo cut himself off as a soft click sounded and the robotic voice came back to tell him that his message had reached the time limit.

Sighing, he pulled the cell phone away from his ear and lay down on the soft, cool, forgiving grass. He didn’t have much longer to stay here. His manager was probably already beginning to panic about where Myung Soo had disappeared to. And now that he had finished everything he could think of, there really wasn't much point to staying any longer.

After a few calming breaths Myung Soo rolled to his feet and began to leave, only hesitating long enough to press his fingers to his lips and then the grave stone. As he walked away, he raised one hand in a small wave goodbye and then slipped it into his pocket. Bowing his head, he pushed the sunglasses further up his nose and headed towards the van.

==========================================================================================================================

“Why do you keep her phone charged? It will only make things more painful if you hold on like this,” the mother’s sister scolded gently, removing Jin Uk’s cell phone from its place on the mantle and playing with it in her hands. Smiling patiently, the mother remove the cell phone from her sister’s hands and replaced it beside a photo of Jin Uk smiling happily.

“It isn’t for me,” the mother responded, giving the cell phone a light pat before going back to mixing the drinks.

“Then who…” her sister let the question hang as she slowly sat down in one of the plush arm chairs. Smiling softly, the mother handed her sister a cup before taking a seat across from her. “Come on sis, you can tell me-“

“Her boyfriend.”

“Jin Uk had a boyfriend?!” Her sister exclaimed, nearly spilling her drink from the shock. Nodding, the mother blew gently on her own drink to cool it off. “A boyfriend… our Jin Uk had a boyfriend. But why be so secretive about it?" her sister demanded, sitting back in her chair with a dumbstruck look on her face.

“If I could tell you, then it wouldn’t be a secret,” the mother replied mischievously before taking a sip of her drink. Pouting, her sister sunk down into the armchair and dejectedly stirred her drink. After just a few moments of silence, the cell phone suddenly began ringing.

“You’re laughing. So are you. Are you crying? So are you.”

“Shouldn’t we get that?” her sister asked, slowly rising up to go and answer the cell phone.

“No,” the mother responded firmly, fixing her sister with a paralyzing stare. Nodding, her sister quickly sat down. “Those messages aren’t meant for you or me. They’re only for Jin Uk,” the mother continued, listening to the last few notes of Jin Uk’s ringtone play before the phone went dark again.

“Then does he know that she-“

“He knows.”

“I saw a lot of missed messages on there, though. I could see calling once or twice, but shouldn’t he have gotten over her by now?” her sister asked suspiciously, determined to get to the bottom of this intriguing family mystery.

“Haven’t you ever been in love?” the mother asked wistfully, glancing accusingly at her sister.

“You know I don’t like talking about my husband,” her sister pouted.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, “but just try remembering those first sparks of love. When everything was new and wonderful. I don’t think that he will ever ‘get over’ Jin Uk. He will move on, though. Eventually he will find a new love, and I hope that she makes him just as happy as Jin Uk did.”

“You wouldn’t be mad about him getting over your daughter like that?” her sister asked, not quite understanding.

“Not getting over," the mother gently reminded her sister, "and no, I wouldn’t. And I know Jin Uk wouldn't be, either,” the mother replied, leaning back in her seat as the cell phone screen lit up and displayed its message.

214 missed calls.