Tao

            His voice was shaky and my voice was shaky and I couldn’t really tell where the shakiness started or stopped because it was a fluid type of shakiness; basically, we were both nervous as and neither wanted to screw things up.

            But, I thought about my day and about how it had already been pretty screwy, so I thought screwing it up more wouldn’t hurt anyone, “Baekhyun, are you there?” I finally spoke up, “Hello?”

            I heard his breath catch before he spoke, and I couldn’t but smile when I knew he was there. A hesitant, “Yeah, I’m here,” passes through the cell phone before he seems to regain his confidence, “and you have some explaining to do.”

            While I was thoroughly head over heels for this boy, it did irk me that he was frustrated. If anyone, in this situation, had the right to be angry, was it not me? After all, I had been abandoned in my emotional state, for the weekend, while Baekhyun perused the city, ‘clearing his head.’

            “If you want explanations, you’d better come and find me. I’m done chasing you down.” Impulsively, I ended the call; a wave of regret washed over me, as a result. At this point, I had to make a decision: either go back to class and attempt learning, or grab my bags quietly and sit out in the hall to wait. To make things more difficult for my pursuer, I opted for sitting in class—near the front and in the center, I might add-- and taking notes diligently. Baekhyun would have to suffer the embarrassment of interrupting class and apologizing to my professor, who was most likely tired of the constant disturbances.

            I could see the situation as it would unfurl. Either it would be amazingly romantic in which Baekhyun would be likened to a Prince Charming, swooping in to rescue the damsel in distress—schoolwork counts as distress, right?—or it would be awkward with a tongue-tied Baekhyun stumbling over his words and feet, clammy hands grabbing mine and yanking me away.

            As much as I wanted the first situation to occur, I was afraid that it was practically impossible. All in all, it was too doubtable.

            There never came a distraction to the class, though. After Chanyeol’s intrusion, nothing else had happened, and the class had been rather calm—or, as calm as Advanced Astrophysics can be. I’d nearly forgotten about my trouble when, to my slight surprise, I felt fingers loop loosely around my wrist. I refused to look up because I recognized the spidery fingers that were draped. “Hey,” He lent his other hand to lifting my chin, forcing me into locking eyes with him, “I’m here, Tao. I’ve chased you down, like you asked. Now what?”

            When I brought myself to look directly in his eyes, I caught myself holding my breath, afraid of any slight movement that could lend to me looking awkwardly clumsy—because, honestly, I could see myself falling all over my own two feet in his presence; it really was a possibility.

            Particularly when I notice that the boy has combed his hair—it’s not the normal unruly mess that I may or may not have deemed his ‘ hair’ before—and that he has dressed spectacularly—to the point that I mentally fanned myself over his sweater and collared shirt combination—and that the boy basically smelled of —or, the most cologne I’d ever experienced.

            I could have been imagining things, but it seemed that Baekhyun had tried incredibly to impress me; and, impress me, it did. “Do you want to get some coffee or something?” I offered up, obviously at a loss for ideas because I think that if I would’ve had a second chance I would’ve invited him to my place to —but what was done was done. “There’s one not too far away from my next class and I’ve got an hour or so to kill.” Truthfully I would have ditched all my classes that day to hang out with Baekhyun, but I had to pretend like I wasn’t the clingy type—he would find that out later.

            “Alright.” Baekhyun beamed up at me and I sighed dreamily at the sight because he was too gorgeous, and he caught me on this and laughed to himself, “Tao,” He said my name so sincerely, and I held a painful iron grip on my backpack strap to prevent any squealing or giving out of the knees, “Lead the way.”

            And, so I did. I refused to look back at the boy, for fear that I wouldn’t be able to look away, crashing into god knows what type of obstacles and making a fool of myself—the type of situation I would normally get myself into—so I just shoved my way through crowds of chattering students, and, when outside, I waited for the sound of pattering feet just behind me to stop and the voice again, “Why’d we stop?”

            Of course, I had to be a bit sassy, for old time’s sake, “I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to catch up, what with your stubby little legs and all. Baekhyun, you’re so short.”

            But, he snorted and echoed my statement while changing only a few words. “Tao, you’re so tall. To be cute, you have to be short like me.” Cute, my ; he’s a beautiful creature. “I can keep up just fine.”

            “Fine, then.” We paced across campus in an awkward silence in which I was trying to be as graceful as possible in his presence, holding my head high and walking with a confident gait, and I believed him to be watching my back—or —as I promenaded as I did.

            At some point, I saw Xiumin walking in some direction across the lawn, and he dorkily gave me two thumbs, to which I answered by flipping him off and looking in the other direction because quite frankly those two thumbs up managed to make me even more nervous, causing me to trip over a terribly placed ditch in the middle of the grass. Immediately, I heard a chuckle behind me, and I ducked my head in embarrassment, but apparently being clumsy can also be cute because Baekhyun whispered behind me exactly this: “So goddamn adorable.” Before adding some sarcasm, louder, “Having trouble walking, there? Need any help?” He actually reached out to take my hand, almost like I needed guidance so as not to be clumsy.

            So, I did the most reasonably Tao-ish thing for me to do and raced ahead, careful of other holes that might have littered the ground, teasing the boy left in the dust rather maniacally because, well, that was my personality, and Baekhyun would have to adapt swiftly anyways.

            A Frisbee just barely missed my head as I slowed to a stroll outside the large building that held the coffee shop, and it takes about a minute or so for Baekhyun to saunter to my side, “I guess your stubs don’t work as well as you thought they would, did they?” I mocked

            To my dismay, he answered with a rather confident, “Well, I like the view of your , so I don’t mind following from behind.” I frowned, taken aback by his forwardness, and he frowned similarly, “I meant that as a compliment, but it turned into more of a come on and slightly too forward; I’m sorry.” And, my heart was back to beating out of my chest, about ready to give way.

            I love you. It was on the tip of my tongue, but I knew that uttering the words would then put me at border line creepy. “Let’s go inside.” I murmured quietly, and it was nothing like what I wanted to say, but it was a start. Grabbing his small hand in my clammy one to tug him into the building was also a start, and I started to wonder if he could feel the intense beating of my pulse in the palm of my hand.

            The coffee shop was always quieter at that time of day because typical students wouldn’t have coffee at three in the afternoon, but I was not really the most typical guy; the coffee I ordered wasn’t even strong and, Baekhyun teased lightly that it was even girlish, what with the amount of whipped cream and caramel syrup. In comparison to the drink of the boy sitting opposite of him—black coffee, ew--one could have said that Tao’s drink was a bit, well, adorable.

            “So, Tao,” Baekhyun began the real conversation about fifteen minutes after we both sat down at our window seat table, and I averted my eyes, “About last week,” I nodded, sipping my drink, “I’ve been thinking,” For god’s sake, can this boy get on with asking me out? “And I want to get to know you.”

            And, one could say that I was disappointed because I had wanted some sort of confession about how he’d loved me since day one, and, as I’d fantasized many times before, he would sweep me off my feet and we’d run into the sunset—or something of the sort.

            So, for a moment, my dreams were utterly shattered; then, everything began to look up for me.

            “Listen, I really like you, like, more than you probably think I do, and it took a weekend away from all of everything to sort it out, and I understand that you like me, or liked me before I was an and disappeared.” He awkwardly titters, rubbing his neck uneasily, “But I want you to get to know me before you commit to a person you thought you knew.” I moved to interrupt him, “I know, you think you know me from theatre and whatnot, but believe me, that’s not all I am.”

            “And,” He continued, “I can bet that you’re not only the person you are when you’re ordering around people in the tech crew; you’re adorable and clumsy and all of those things that you probably wish you weren’t, but, well, do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

            “You think I’m adorable?” I looked up from my cup of coffee, “You really do?”

            He smiled, leaning in, “Of course, that’s all that gets into your head.”

            “I also recall something about getting to know me, so please, ask any questions, Baekhyun.” He flushed as I use his name, and I decided to say it all the more often just for the sake of his reaction, “Or, if you want, I’ll start.”

            From then on out, we alternated asking stupid questions to one another. We only stopped when Baekhyun noticed that over four hours had passed, and I had missed my last class of the day. My Advanced Lighting class scheduled for 4:30 wasn’t nearly as important as a date with the god-like Byun Baekhyun; the professor would have to understand. Besides, as my excuse was for the worried boy across from me, “I act like I know everything in that class, so the students and teacher get annoyed; they’ll be more than happy to have a day in which I’m absent.” To be honest, though, I did know everything in that class, and that professor was absolutely bull; I only took it because I liked to show off and that class was perfect for it.

            And, we remained in the coffee shop until closing, and I felt like I knew all of the details about Baekhyun, and he, about me. I could rattle off the little things like his favorite color, animal, place, food, season, movie and book, and I even knew how many cousins, aunts, uncles, and siblings  he had, including which ones he liked, and which ones he would avoid at every reunion. But one thing that I was craving to know was whether or not I was his boyfriend, and, damn, that was the only question that I really wanted him to answer.

            So, I asked him rather hesitantly, with a low, meek voice as we left the coffee shop and looked out on the then blackened sky with the city lights reflecting, even as far away from city life as we were, “Hey, Baekhyun, what are we now?”

            For a moment, he pondered the question, as if the idea of our relationship had never occurred to him, before he fastened his fingers onto my arm and clung, “Well, Tao, you’re my boyfriend, of course.” As if it were the most obvious fact in the world.