Jinki smiled nervously when the doctor walked him. He managed to cut himself on a piece of iron that was connected to the coffee machine at the café he worked at. His co-workers told him to go to the doctor to get checked out since he was bleeding a lot. Jinki was very clumsy and usually found himself in the doctor’s office, at least once a month. He really tried to be careful, but he and gravity were long term enemies.

“So, how am I, Doc?” Jinki questioned, a goofy smile on his lips. The smile fell when he saw the look on the doctor’s face. Something was very wrong.

He placed hand on the wall, to balance himself. He felt like if he moved away from the wall, he’d surely fall to the ground. He leaned back against the wall and slid down. He stared at the floor, his eyes wide as tears fell down his face. It couldn’t be true. He was dreaming. He had to be dreaming.

“I’m sorry, Jinki… but I have some very bad news…”

He touched a hand to his chest, touching his heart as he cried. He didn’t care about the looks he was getting. He felt like he couldn’t breathe; like the whole world was going to collapse on top of him. He was terrified.

“It seems that you have developed Leukemia. The things called ‘blasts’ are immature white blood cells that can be found the blood or bone marrow to an extreme amount. It seems you’ve had this for a while and it is effecting your whole blood stream and will soon enter the bones.”

Jinki glanced up at the sky, biting his bottom lip. He was a good person. He was in his second year of med-school, which was paying for on his own. He worked at a tiny café that offered minimum salary without any complaints. He volunteered at the library and the daycare even though he wasn’t good with kids. He gave money to charity whenever he saw a cause accepting money on the streets or in businesses. He was kind and always said please and thank you. He was loved by everyone. So why him?

“It seems the cancer has been progressing for a long time now. We never noticed it before because we’ve never had any reason to test your blood. We’re uncertain, but even with chemotherapy, I’m afraid… there is nothing much we can do. At most, you’ll have a year left. You may start chemo now, but you’ll most likely be stuck in the hospital for a long period of time. I suggest you make your final arrangements, I’m so very sorry.”

It started raining and the male laughed humorlessly. People were giving him dirty look, but he didn’t care. Why should he? They would never see him again. In a year, no one would. Why should he care anymore.

“Why me?” He shouted at the sky. “What did I do?!”

His breathing started to increase and he began coughing. He placed a hand on the ground as he coughed. He glanced at his hand and saw blood. He laid down on the cold, wet ground holding his bloody covered hand to his chest. He could hear someone yelling his name and soon he felt hands on him, but everything went back.

“How is he?”

“No fever luckily. I don’t think he’s sick.”

Jinki wanted to laugh. Not sick, if only they knew. “Where did you find him?”

“On the street. I found blood on his hand.”

He slowly opened his eyes, blinking away the blurry vision. He felt warm, too warm. He pushed the blankets off of himself and sat up, pressing a hand to his forehead. He pushed a hand away that tried touching him. He looked up to see Junghwan, his ex-boyfriend, and Taemin, his brother. He sighed and laid back down, rolling on his side, “Go away.”

A hand was on his shoulder and he was turned over. Junghwan looked down at him sadly, “What happened, Onew?”

Jinki pulled away and ce more, his back to the other. He thought about how he met Junghwan. They went to med-school together and were in the same classes. They both had weird personalities that brought themselves closer to each other. They broke up after about six months years. Junghwan said Jinki focused too much on his studies on not him. They were still extremely close. The thought of having to say goodbye to him hurt and his little brother, Taemin. He watched him grow up and he wouldn’t be able to see him get married and have kids. He felt the tears welling up again, causing him to cover his face.

Taemin stared at his brother in surprise. He had never seen his brother cry. He sat down and touched his brother’s hair softly, but Jinki just cried. Junghwan looked at Taemin in confusion, but neither had any idea what was going on.

The two had finally managed to get Jinki out of bed and into the living room. Junghwan made tea while Taemin made a soup for Jinki. The older male just stared at the bowl and tea with a look of disgust. Despite the fact that both Junghwan and Taemin were terrible in the kitchen, he felt like if he ate anything, he throw up either way.

“Onew, please… talk to us,” Junghwan begged softly. He was sitting on Jinki’s left while Taemin sat on the right. Taemin sighed and tried wrapping a blanket around Jinki when he started shivering, but Jinki pushed it off.

“Enough!” Taemin shouted. Junghwan looked up in surprise at Taemin, but Jinki didn’t even look away from the bowl in front of him. “Hyung! Tell us right now.”

Jinki gazed up at his brother. Taemin definitely got all the looks. Jinki wasn’t bad looking. He was extremely good looking, but Taemin was always breath-taking. He would miss seeing his brother’s face, “I’m not hungry.”

Junghwan placed a hand on top of Jinki’s. The older man looked at him blankly, “Onew, please…,” he pressed a hand against Jinki’s cheek and stared into his eyes, “What is wrong?”

“… I’m dying…”

The other male stared at Jinki for a minute. Jinki usually made dramatic jokes like that, but usually he’d be laughing along with it or making fake noises of pain. Jinki hadn’t even cracked a smile since he woke up. “E-eh?”

“I have leukemia…  the doctors think I have less than a year… how sad… almost two years of med-school, four years of college and thirteen years in regular schooling and I’ll have nothing to show for-,” he was cut off when a hand connected with his face. He glanced up at Junghwan who had risen and slapped him. The other was crying.

Taemin reached out for him, but he pulled away, “T-this is a sick joke, Jinki…. Stop it.”

Jinki chuckled humorlessly, leaning back against the couch. He stared into space and sighed, “This is definitely not the reaction I expected.”

“T-this is cruel-“

“How do you think I feel, huh?” Jinki yelled. The two stared at him in surprise. Jinki never raised his voice. Rarely was he angry. “I’ve lived the last twenty-four years thinking about nothing but the future and in a year, it will all be gone. So please, do go on about how cruel this is. Please, maybe God will hear you and change his mind.”

Junghwan stared at the other in shock. The tears increased. He shook his head and ran out of the house. Taemin called after him, but Junghwan had gotten in his car and driven off. When his brother came back into the room, he was lying in a ball on the couch. “That was mean what you said to him…. He still loves you…”

Jinki sighed and looked up at his brother, “What can I do? Get back with him and let him watch me die? Look, he thinks he loved me. We only ever kissed. We never had ; we never even said I love you over the months we were together. Now I’m going to die, so…”

Taemin sat down on the floor next to his brother and touched his face, brushing hair out of his brother’s face, “Hyung… please don’t be like this…”

The older male his lips. His throat felt dry and he wanted to cry again. He closed his eyes tightly and pulled his hands to his face. He felt Taemin’s arms around as he cried, “Hyung… I’m sorry…”

Jinki had finished crying after a while. They were sitting on the couch, sitting in silence. Jinki sighed and rested his head on Taemin’s shoulder, “A year… that is it… what can I do in a year that will make me feel like my year hasn’t been for nothing?”

Taemin shrugged slightly as he stared into space, “You could always create a bucket list?”

“A what?” Jinki asked, sitting up straight.

His brother looked at him for a moment, “A bucket list? It is when you make a list of all the things you want to do before you die? I remember umma and appa watched a movie about these two guys who made one when we were younger. Some American movie.”

Jinki looked at his brother and nodded his head, “That is it. I’ll make a list of all the things I want to do… it is perfect.”

“How many things do you want to do, hyung?” Taemin questioned.

The older male tilted his head, shrugging, “I’ll figure that out.”

Jinki had finished his list and smiled. He had twenty things on his list. He had packed his things and dropped out of school. He still hadn’t told his parents anything. He begged Taemin not to say anything until he was safely out of Korea. His first item on his list was to fly a plane. Since his second task was to get lost in Tokyo, he was going to fly a plane to Tokyo.

He looked at Taemin and smiled softly. Minho, Taemin’s boyfriend, had driven them to airport. Taemin had been holding back tears and now they were just rolling down his face. The older male walked up to his brother, holding his face in his hands, “Taeminnie… I’ll be back for Christmas and then near next Halloween. I’ll call any chance I get and I have my laptop with the webcamming thingy.”

Minho chuckled softly, “It is just called a webcam.”

“Whatever. Take care of him, alright?” Jinki grinned at the other. He kissed Taemin’s forehead and wiped his tears before picking up his suitcase and backpack, “I’ll be alright.”

Taemin nodded his head, frantically wiping his tears, “I love you, hyung.”

“I love you too, Taeminnie,” he waved at the two as he repositioned his bag on his shoulder. He grabbed the handle of his suitcase and walked inside. As he walked inside, a blonde guy cut in front of him. He glared at the person, but sighed. No need to be angry. The guy probably didn’t see him. He smiled and got in line.

“Flight 32 to Tokyo, now boarding.”

Jinki took a deep breath and stood up, grabbing his backpack and swinging it onto his shoulder before getting into line. He felt his heart quicken as he stood in line. For the next year, he’d be traveling the world, doing all the things he always dreamed about. It was exciting, yet thrilling. He was ready… at least, he thought he was.

_____________________________________________________

Author’s Note;

Chapter one is here. This was actually really sad. Originally, Jjong was supposed to be in this too, but I forgot to add him. I got so caught up with Jinki’s story. Anyways, he’ll be in the next chapter. Look forward to it.

PLEASE COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE! 

©sungyo2012