Heal Me by angelface_devilsoul

Title (2/5)

The title is a bit cliché. I don't quite see how it relates to your story's plot, yet I can see how it can. In other words, the title is a bit…iffy. 

Appearance (4/5)

I actually like the appearance! The poster is lovely, yet simple. However, the background isn't quite necessary. A flower blooming from the ground doesn't really relate to your story, but it does appeal in my eyes.

Description/Foreword (12/15)

Your description is perfectly fine. It caught my attention after reading the summary of your story. However, it does give off a cliché plot, which I will explain in the Plot section.

Your foreword was also quite interesting. If you took off the author's notes, I think you would've gotten a higher score for this section. Author notes should only be in the foreword if it's important. Saying that this is your first fanfic and how you didn't put the character's description doesn't affect your story  a lot. It's just useless information that the readers could skip.

Plot (10/25)

Your plot is quite cliché. You have those group of popular girls who bully the main girl character and the main girl being all dark and sad. Plus, the girl losing her parents in a car crash or some other terrible accident isn't unique, either. However, I like how the guy isn't all dark and cold and instead the girl is, which you don't see quite a lot in other fanfics.

Characters (8/15)

It's not surprising to see a girl change to a sad, dark person. You could find these type of girls in many angst AFF fanfics. It's also not new to see someone popular bully the main girl character, or a best friend who's super rich. However, I do like the fact how the girl is in love with Lay, even though she doesn't quite understand her feelings. Lay's character is a bit…confusing. For an example, I don't understand why he was so cold to Eun Mi, and the next minute he's all friendly like nothing ever happened. Is it something that happened in the party, or was it because Eun Mi demanded him to move…?

Writing (Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation) (5/20)

You mostly lacked punctuation and grammar. Spelling was okay, but you need to fix your punctuation and grammar errors. When a character is speaking, you don't put the comma outside of the quotation marks. The comma goes inside, unless it is replaced by an exclamation mark, a question mark, or a period. In addition, you have to capitalize "I." In some chapters, you didn't capitalize "I." When you write "IPod," it's supposed to be spelled as "iPod."

You also tend to go back from past to present tense and vice versa. Most of your text is in past tense, I suggest you use past tense from now one. You also often use "But" in the beginning of the sentence. That is grammatically incorrect, and I suggest you either combine a sentence using "but" or repl