Exiled, Married, and Enslaved by Notperfect

Title (4/5)

Great! Your title is creative and unique. However, when I see the title, the word, “comedy,” doesn’t pop into my mind.

Appearance (2.5/5)

Your poster is wonderful, but the background doesn’t match with your title or the mood.

Description/Foreword (12/15)

Description improvement: Jung Miseul was the result from a one night stand between a Korean woman and a Chinese man. Horrified by the unexpected outcome, the mother raised her child harshly–practically enslaving Miseul into a life filled with torture and no love. 

But, what happens when SMTown accepts the set-aside Miseul with open arms?

 I think the phrase, “But, what happens when SMTown accepts the set-aside Miseul with open arms?” destroys the suspense and the mood that you built up with the first part. Plus, it would be best to move the character cast down to the foreword.

The foreword is great. Simply move the character cast down and it would be perfect. The little excerpt from your story is a good addition, too! 

Plot (10/25)

The plot is cliché, but I see that you put little of your own originality to make the story unique. The hook is weak. When I read your first four sentences, I wanted to leave. Your first few sentences have to hook the reader so the reader wouldn’t want to leave. However, I do sense some foreshadowing in your hook.

Characters (0/15)

The characters are also cliché and dull. The same personalities are used in every story and it gets boring to see the same type of people every time. Try twisting or adding something to the characters.

Writing (Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation) (14/20)

Chapter 1 

Before: Blue birds fla