“Happy Birthday, love,” Donghae whispered as he placed a bouquet of tulips beside Jessica’s grave. Tulips were her favorite.

In a hill outside Seoul, an hour-drive away from the bustling city, Jessica Jung’s remains rested peacefully.

Donghae lied on the grass, staring up at the afternoon sky where the beautiful shades of blue and orange danced above him. The darkness was starting to settle in.

Curling up nearer to his departed lover’s grave, Donghae sighed, “It’s almost been five months, right?”

The wind then blew swiftly, causing the trees to produce a faint rustling sound.

Yes.

“But it still hurts,” his voice cracked. Tears escaped his eyes as the feeling of loneliness blanketed him. Donghae closed his eyes, trying his hardest to fight back the tears that always showed up whenever he visits Jessica.

Howling now, the wind furiously blew, causing Donghae to shiver.

He ignored the chill, not wanting Jessica to celebrate her birthday alone in this lonely hill. Donghae curled up in a ball and took slow deep breaths, unaware that he’s starting to drift off to a deep sleep.

Back in Seoul, Tiffany uncomfortably paced back and forth inside her room.

As Donghae’s closest friend, whenever he would go somewhere, she would always be knowledgeable.. except today.

She was, of course, aware that today’s Jessica’s birthday—the three of them were BFFs until Jessica fell into a horrible sickness and drew in her last breath and something else.

Now, only she and Donghae were left in this world and they both know that things would never be the same again.

Earlier today, she visited Jessica’s grave but was forced to leave soon because of classes.

Hours later, Tiffany had finished contacting everyone who could’ve known where Donghae was. Obviously, she had considered that Donghae paid Jessica a visit but until this hour of the night?! Whenever Donghae visited Jessica’s grave, either he would ask Tiffany to accompany him or be home before dinnertime because the road down the hill is dark and dangerous at night.

Time check. 11:39PM and worry is eating Tiffany up.

Is Donghae planning something horrible.. like following Jessica?

Giggles. Those familiar high-pitched giggles could only be Jessica’s.

“Jessica?!” Donghae opened his eyes & quickly sat up. Rubbing his eyes, he did a quick scan of his surroundings—he was not beside Jessica’s grave anymore.

He was under a big oak tree & a few metres from him, a bay stretched out until it met the bluish orange horizon.

“Lee Donghae!” that familiar voice called out to him but it now sounded distant.

Donghae’s heart almost jumped out of his chest in excitement—it was no other than Jessica’s voice.

From afar, Donghae made out a petite figure in a blinding white dress. Her long brown hair gracefully danced as the gentle wind blew against it.

She was waving at him from the dock of the bay, signalling for him to come over.

Donghae had to squint to make sure if it was really her he’s seeing right now. He stood up and cocked his head with the little thing thumping loudly inside his chest like, after a long time, it was again alive. Complete. Whole.

Jessica?

The girl danced around the dock & yelled, “Yes it’s me so hurry up!” Her voice was loud enough for Donghae to hear clearly.

Like a lost boy who found his parents, Donghae ran as fast as his feet can carry him towards her.

Now just a few feet away from Jessica, Donghae stopped in his tracks. “How can it be you?”

Jessica laughed gracefully & answered, “It doesn’t matter.” Spreading her arms wide, she asked, “Can I hug you?”

In one big stride, Donghae threw himself at her arms. He hugged her.

As he was caught in the moment, Donghae couldn’t help but be delighted that nothing felt different about her. She even smells the same, Donghae remarked as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

A youthful giggle escaped Jessica’s lips as she broke the hug.

“I miss you, Jessica..” Donghae admitted, in the verge of tears. The moment was so right and Donghae had to fight back the tears in refusal to ruin everything with tears—not even tears of joy.

Jessica softly smiled & walked to the edge of the dock to sit. She swung her legs that hung beneath her. “I know,” she laughed in response to Donghae’s remark. Gesturing for Donghae to sit beside her, she patted the space on her left, “Come sit with me.”

“You can’t stay.. am I right?” Donghae asked, invading a space beside her.

The girl nodded, half-smiling as though the thought of ending this illusion did not hurt her a bit. “I just came back as a birthday gift from Him—I miss you and Tiffany, you know. So,” Jessica began, “Can I ask you for my birthday gift?”

“Anything. Ask for anything,” Donghae eagerly and seriously offered.

“You’ll know my birthday wish later,” Jessica winked. She changed topic, “How is Tiffany, by the way?”

“What?!” Donghae was surprised by the question that seemed to come out of the blue.

“You’re not the only one I miss, you know. Tiffany’s my best friend,” Jessica playfully rolled her eyes.

The man scratched his head before answering, “Well, she’s coping up better than me. That’s for sure.” Donghae certainly did not expect to talk about Tiffany when he finally meets Jessica again but nevertheless, they are talking about her.

Heaving out a deep sigh of relief, Jessica smiled. She clapped, saying, “I’m proud of her. But I really really miss her.” She put a pointer finger on her chin and thought aloud, “Maybe I should ask Him to take Tiffany with me soon, too.”

“Jessica!” Donghae was fast to protest.

Jessica raised her hands defensively, “What?”

Jessica’s idea scared Donghae. “That’s not a good joke,” he said.

The girl leaned in closer & eyed Donghae suspiciously. Jessica quickly blinked for several times before asking, “Tell me, Donghae.. Why do you care?”

A lump formed in Donghae’s throat as he rummaged his brain for the answer. He looked hopelessly at Jessica and asked himself why she’s being unusually difficult. Donghae took in a huge deal of oxygen before opening his mouth to answer, “Because we were best friends, too.” He lowered his head.

“Right,” Jessica nodded, “You two were best friends, too. All three of us are best friends until we had a relationship and everything changed from then on.”

Under his breath, Donghae muttered, “You make it sound like we were so mean to her.”

“Oh, we were mean to her,” Jessica said matter-of-factly & continued, “That’s why I apologized to her.”

“And she forgave you.”

“Yep, only me,” Jessica bit on her lip to prevent herself from giggling. She continued, “Because you can’t get yourself to speak to her. You started avoiding her.”

“Because it would be awkward. Because she loved me even before there was an us,” Donghae recalled regretfully. How he wished that everything will exactly be the same before Tiffany confessed to him.

Only now did he realize that Jessica was not the only one he misses—Tiffany, too. Tiffany, her eye smiles, her obsession with everything pink. Tiffany.

It was Jessica’s death that had bound his friendship with Tiffany again but nevertheless, the past will resurface sooner or later and the ‘best’ in ‘best friends’ will never be there again.

Donghae spoke again before Jessica could even react. He said, “That’s the past. Besides, she seems okay now and we’re friends again. Just friends.”

“Friend but not best friends anymore, right?” Jessica insensitively rubbed it in his face.

The man nodded in response. “Yes and I hate it,” he hissed as he stared out into the sunset’s reflection on the far end of the bay. It was true, though, he despised how there will always be a wall hindering her and Tiffany to be best friends again.

“I want you to be happy, Donghae. Really..” Jessica sighed, seeing the hurt expression on Donghae’s face.

Snapping out of his trance, Donghae suddenly remembered, “So what’s your birthday wish again, Jess?”

“Are you sure you want to hear it now?” she raised an eyebrow.

Donghae nodded nonchalantly.

“I..” Jessica inhaled audibly, “I want you to move on. Forget me.” She caressed Donghae’s cheeks, meaning each and every word that left her lips.

Abruptly gripping Jessica’s wrists, the man protested, “That’s a sick birthday wish, Jessica! How in the world can you see the possibility of my happiness without you?!”

“I can see it through Tiffany.” Jessica cocked her head, resting it on her own shoulders childishly. “I can see how you value her, too, Donghae. Don’t deny it,” she warned, swinging her feet beneath her again.

Donghae’s voice started to gain intensity, “She’s important to me, too but how could you compare that to what we had?! Incomplete—that’s what I am and that’s what I will always be until I can be with you again. Tiffany? We’re just friends!” He looked at Jessica with huge disbelief in his eyes.

“That’s exactly my point! You are incomplete but you’re not empty,” Jessica said. She poked Donghae’s chest and said, “Tiffany. She’s the little glow inside you that keeps you pushing. She is the reason why you’re not empty. You just can’t acknowledge her because you keep on drowning yourself in grief over my death.”

Donghae buried his face in his hands for a moment.

“She loves you, Donghae. Why don’t you take a chance on her?”

Looking up, Donghae stubbornly countered Jessica’s words, “No, Jessica. You’re wrong. Tiffany told me she has no more feelings for me.”

Jessica’s shoulders dropped in frustration. “For goodness’ sake, she’s human, Donghae! Humans? They tend to lie to protect themselves.” She laid a hand on his shoulder and added, “It’s bad enough that you—we—hurt her once. Of course, she would lie because despite her assumption that she’ll never have a chance on you, Tiffany still wants to be with you. In any way possible, that is. She lied because she had to.”

Feeling as though Jessica is driving him away, Donghae challenged, “And what?! You’re psychic now?!”

Jessica shrugged indifferently, “If that’s what you want to call it, then, yes. We tend to have the ability to look inside the hearts of you, humans. It’s exactly the same reason how I’m sure that you’re starting to think that I may have a point here.” She authoritatively folded her arms across her chest but still with that youth and innocence.

Donghae was at a loss for words. It’s too much for him to handle—everything that Jessica said.

“Wake up now, Donghae,” Jessica said before planting a kiss on Donghae’s forehead, “Someone’s waiting for you but I might just take her with me if you stay stubborn. Wake up, Donghae.”

What do you mean? Donghae looked at Jessica with wide lost eyes.

Seeing his expression, the girl laughed, refusing to answer Donghae’s question that she heard quite clearly despite the fact that he did not put it into words.

“Perhaps a goodbye kiss for my birthday?” Jessica tilted her head to the side.

Without waiting for the still flabbergasted Donghae’s reply, Jessica started to lean in closer to him.

Donghae’s eyes fluttered close in anticipation for the sweet contact but instead of Jessica’s lips, it was a cold wind that blew against his face.

I love you, Donghae. Goodbye.

Right then and there, Donghae knew that his illusion of Jessica had ended.

He sat up and checked the time. 1:43PM.

Donghae placed a palm on his forehead & muttered, “I slept for hours?”

Just then, he felt his phone vibrating inside his pocket. Taking it out, his heart clutched inside his chest. Something about the call seemed.. urgent.

Clearing his throat that had dried up from sleeping, he hit the ‘Answer’ button and he was able to answer before the fourth ring, “Hello?”

The call was from an anonymous number. “Mr. Lee Donghae?” It was the voice of a girl in the other end of the line.

“Yes, that’s me. May I ask who’s calling?” Donghae politely inquired.

The caller said, “Do you happen to know someone by the name of Tiffany Hwang, Mr. Lee?”

Hearing Tiffany’s name, Donghae’s body stiffened. “Yes, I know her. She’s my.. friend. Why?”

“Sorry to bring you this unfortunate news but I’m calling from Seoul National Hospital and Ms. Hwang was involved in a vehicular accident.”

For a second there, Donghae felt like the skies crashed down on him. It was almost the same feeling when Jessica died. Almost.

The wind blew again, sending chills down Donghae’s spine.

I might just take her with me if you stay stubborn.

Donghae got up and ended the call. Before he trailed down the hill, he took one last look at Jessica’s grave. “You can’t be serious.”

As soon as he arrived at the hospital, he rushed to the Emergency Room and indeed, a patient named Tiffany Hwang was brought here not long ago, as the nurse attendant informed Donghae.

He saw her, finally, as around six nurses tended to her unconscious body. Donghae was too shaken to count accurately. He hated the fact that he could do nothing but to stand there.

“No,” Donghae felt his stomach drop to his knees. Seeing Tiffany covered with blood scared the hell out of him. He took weak steps towards where she lied but several hands stopped him.

Everything seems to have been happening in slow motion.

Indistinct muffled voices were the only sound that Donghae can hear & he can’t help but feel his knees wobble in fear.

Don’t do this, Jess!

Why shouldn’t I?

Just..don’t.

Give me a good reason, Hae.

I-I can’t, Jessica! I can’t think properly!

Then bid your goodbye to Tiffany. She’s coming with me.

Jess.. please..

One reason. Just one reason, Donghae.

I need her. I need my friend. I need Tiffany.

Why so?

I might.. I.. I think I love her, too..?

You think?! Well then, I don’t think you do!

Jessica! Look into my heart! You know the answer why!

.............

Jess..?

Your lips are too weak to put what you really feel into words.

What..?

You do love her, Hae. You love our best friend. You love Tiffany Hwang.

“Her vital signs are stable now,” a voice said to someone else, Donghae heard.

Assuming that the voice was referring to Tiffany, Donghae suddenly felt like a huge burden was lifted off of his shoulders.

He smiled but his line of vision started to blur. Once again, several voices said—shouted, to be exact—indistinct words before everything turned black. Even after Donghae hit the cold hard hospital floor, he forced his eyes to open.

A hazy image of Tiffany lying in a hospital bed with obvious steady breaths was what Donghae saw.

Thank you, Jessica.

I told you; I want you to be happy.

..to be continued..