You couldn’t believe where you were right now. In the car with Nu Thang! You had just gotten an invite to come hang out with them at one of YG’s clubs. Baekkyoung from 1TYM was going to be DJing that night, and your friend GD wanted to show some love. You and G had been spending some significant time together lately. You weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. Or at least he hadn’t said anything to that effect. You hadn’t been dating anyone else or asking if he had. Truth be told he was gone an awful lot, so you didn’t see each other that often. Plus your work kept you busy.

You had just been accepted at YG as a stand in make up artist. You’d been working at department store make up counters for the past few years since you graduated from beauty school just to make ends meet while you went back to college for a certificate in stage make up and video production. You had been doing some independent photo shoots with fellow class mates at college to fill your portfolio halfway decently to attack some of the entertainment companies for a job. You studied the make up looks every time a group had a come back or debut’d and mimicked it as best you could on either yourself or your little sister who was little miss model face. You finally got your break by doing some one’s make up at the counter who wanted a make over. They were younger, and looked a bit plain. But they looked like an idol when they got out of your chair. A make up artist from YG had been at the counter buying brushes for their personal collection when they saw your work and told you to come with your portfolio to show off your work. 

Your interview with HyunSuk had been nerve wracking. His aura filled the whole room, and you understood then why people were always nervous around him. But he was very nice and said that your skills and your look was what they were looking for. He hired you to become one of the new make up people to work with 2ne1. Your heart felt like it was going to burst. That was how you met GD. You had been doing CL’s make up for a video appearance when GD had come in to give encouragement. He had gone to Bom and asked who you were since he didn’t recognize you. Bom had told him that you were their new make up artist. Later SeungRi had come into the room and meekly asked for your number saying that GDragon wanted it. You blushed and gave it with a smile.

And now, months later, here you were. Sitting between GD and HyukSoo, facing TOP, and Kush and Daniel. You stepped out of the car in your studded heels, a neon green dress from what looked like the 60’s, and simple plastic jewelry. Your hair cut in a short bob, one side above your ear shaved, and dyed electric blue. Thick lines of gel liner streaked across your lids in a cat eye flick. You looked fierce. It was your style that GD was drawn to. You adapted well to the lifestyle that he had to live in. You knew how to have fun. You weren’t an every weekend party girl, but you could hold your liquor and knew how to get crazy when the moment allowed. You spotted Baekkyoung up in the DJ booth behind the 1’s and 2’s and you waved. He raised his hand and cocked his head back in recognition. You did double dueces in return with a funny face and laughed.

You sat down with the rest of them next to GD and he draped his arm over your shoulders. You felt hot with his fingers making contact with your skin. His crooked smile, his intent stare, his playful laugh, his shy grin, everything about him was adorable, even though he was younger than you. You ordered your drink, and enjoyed the music. MinHee, HyukSoo’s ex girlfriend and fellow Nu Thang member grabbed your hand as a jam that you were feeling came on. She could tell you wanted to dance, and she dragged you away from GD and danced with you out on the floor. You whipped your hair, switched your hips and worked those studded heels like nobodys business. When you got back to the table, 3 or 4 songs later, GD was no where in sight. You sat down and ordered another drink on principle. You never drank anything you’d left unattended. Even though almost half the drink was left, you never knew who could have come by while you weren’t looking.

You sipped your drink feeling better now that you had unwound a little bit. You weren’t buzzed yet but you wre on your way. And then, killjoy. You heard high laughter, even over the music, you looked to the left and saw GD behind some girl in a short short skirt, his hands all up on her hips. You arched a brow, and could feel the looks from the members of Nu Thang. You smiled and sipped your drink again. You leaned over to MinHee and asked her if she wanted to dance again. She nodded and tried to HyukSoo in vain on the dance floor, he shook his head and nodded for her to run along. You both made your way to the dance floor and worked up into a frenzy. You swayed to the music, and felt like the girl in Big Bangs “Lies” video. Dancing with hands in the air and tears in her eyes.

But you wouldn’ admit it. Not at all. Even when TOP joined you in the floor which caught you by surprise. He danced well, even though he didn’t display it very often, certainly not when he was with GD in videos. On the silly side maybe, but not seriously. The three of you had your own little group going. You saw GD looking over at you once the girl was turned loose and his eyes kept on you for the rest of the night. You felt them on your skin even if you didn’t turn around. 

“Oh no JiYong. You don’t have me, not like that. Not yet. I may like you, but you’ll never see me cry. You won’t take my dream from me that easy.” you thought to yourself, smirking. You were to old for those childish games. You and GD weren’t together. You spent time together, but if he wanted to dance with some… bag.. with a really short skirt and no class, let him. You continued to justify yourself on the dancefloor and started to laugh to yourself. Both MinHee and TOP thought it was just because you were buzzed and nothing more.

Later that night, you were dropped off at your apartment. As soon as you got up the stairs and locked the door it all came apart. Your facade crumbled and so did you, to the floor of your kitchen and you sobbed for a good half hour. You sobbed so hard your throat and chest hurt. You took off your heels and headed for the bathroom. You splashed your face with cold water, watching the black ink on your face drip down your face, leaving channels where your tears followed. 

“No! _______ you will not do this to yourself. You’re not a crybaby! You want GD, you get GD, hasn’t it always been that way? Hadn’t you always made sure that once you wanted something, enough for you to go after it, you promised to continue until you had no road left to travel and it was yours?” you reprimanded yourself in the mirror. You washed your face and scrubbed it clean. You grabbed the hair dye, something you kept in plentiful supply in your bathroom. You changed the blue patch to magenta, and added a pink tint to your ebony black hair. You changed up your whole look. 

If GD wanted to be a chameleon you’d prove you could to. You could change, you could adapt, you’d done it all your life. You adapted to every school you were forced to move to, you adapted to every new house you were forced into after being chased out of your old one. You’d prove to GD that he wanted to be with you. No matter what. And he’d never see you cry. Never.